A condition in which someone feels compelled to constantly bring things that make them look good in casual conversation. It can be the same thing every time or a variety of things; as long as the subtle or obvious aim is to make themselves sound or look cool, it’s a flex, and if it happens all the time, it’s chronic. It’s most obvious when a detail is tossed in that is really unnecessary for any other purpose than flexing.
A variation of ghosting, in which the ghoster continues indirect contact with the ghosted by liking and faveing his or her social media content.
Posted in home, working
Tagged Being Black, food, foodies, friendship, Guns, pasta recipe, poverty, Prince Charles, race, recipes, Sunday Reads, Urban dictionary, words we need
Today I am grateful for:
- BSF and the brilliant notes they have been preparing for this years study.
- Great friends.
- Our home and all that it means to us in this season.
- My family and for WhatsApp that allows us to be in touch.
- Beautiful Johannesburg weather.
- Oranges, pawpaw and yoghurt.
- The freedom that my car provides me.
- Work and the ability to earn an income.
- A great cup of tea.
- Flavoured sparkling water.
For what are you grateful for?
Posted in Heart matters, home, working
Tagged Book of Joshua, BSF, BSF International, driving, family, food, friendship, home, Johannesburg, thanksgiving
As friends of mine are in that phase of having babies, I enjoyed this post and felt inspired to copy a list of things I would take with me when I next go to visit as in that moment you are often at a loss of what is appropriate.
- Time – to listen, help out with her errands, carry baby, fold laundry or cook. Just time.
- Easy to warm and eat with one hand food. Also drinks.
- What food did she miss during pregnancy that she can now eat? Stock up on that!!
- A cozy gown as the new mom will be nursing or up in the cold of the day or night.
- Comfy chill at home shoes/ other clothes.
- Hand cream/ hand sanitiser because new baby = washing hands often.
- A beautiful mug or water bottle as she might be drinking a whole lot more if she is breastfeeding.
When you had a baby, what would you have loved OR what great gift do you get new moms?
I miss my gal pals the most when I see stuff like this that we could do together .
I particularly think of the things that I have missed out on with my better female friends: baby showers, bridal showers, high tea, being able to do random things together, road trips, dinners, first homes, come meet my new guy, the new baby, watch a new show together and laugh about it – just a lot of stuff. Yes, IRL I have friends and people I do this but it’s also different.
From the blog post:
I particularly love #2,6, 9 and have done #3 – adult baking dates are awesome – 10, 13.
The comments as usual provides such gems and so here is my to do with a friend list.
- Volunteer together at a cause that’s meaningful to either or both of us.
- More concerts – I watched John Legend with a pal and her cool mom and it was awesome!
- Coworking sessions. Yes to these.
- Sit together and read dates.
- Sleepovers with no husbands or kids.
- Pottery / learn something class.
- Try and commit to an exercise class together.
- Talk about podcast episodes we both love. Tried to get so many pals into this that I am glad I can do it with my sister and partly with The Mr.
- Watch TV shows together and make comments in between, ideally together or even if separately, concurrently.
- Same day road trips and do stuff along the way or at the destination.
- Supper club where each person brings one.
In fact, I decided to have a little snacks and games afternoon at my place next month! Done!!
Posted in Heart matters
Tagged baking, books, classes, Cup of Jo, exercise, female bonding, female friendship, food, friendship, Podcasts, reading, TV
I have previously spoken of both positive and negative impressions of South Africa. Recently, I caught myself thinking of some local meals that I really enjoy, namely:
- Rooibos tea
- Malva Pudding
- Amagwinya (Fat Cakes / Vetkoekes)
- Snoek fish
Equally, you could miss me with:
- Chicken feet
- Peppermint Crisp tart
Pictures and a fuller description available here.
We mentally compress our networks when we are harassed, bullied or being threatened by job loss. We close ourselves off, isolating ourselves, creating a huge blind spot where we can’t see our resources, allies and opportunities.
Posted in Heart matters, home, school, working
Tagged Being Black, Christianity, family, food, friendship, language, motherhood, Movies, networking, parenthood, PhD, race, school, selflessness, Sunday Reads, telly, The Bachelorette
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, working
Tagged Africa, documentaries, food, friendship, governance, John Legend, parenting, post-partum depression, Queen Elizabeth
Posted in home, life, marriage, school, working
Tagged Africa, Cape Town, food, growing up., marriage, motherhood, parenthood, productivity, recipes, Uganda
Posted in home
Tagged apps, Being Black, blogging, economics, enviroment, food, home, Kenyan music, recipes, Sunday Reads, travel, women
Went to a fancy Stellenbosch restaurant for lunch with the Mr this past weekend and this is what I had.
- Interesting read on how running a cartel is similar to a legit business.
- Another premie story that also broke my heart but is so well written.
- Well documented studies that argue for mindful eating and some common blinders to look out for.
- Grown up milkshakes anyone?
- How we can learn to be more frugal from the poor.
Posted in life
Tagged businesses, cartels, choice, drugs, eating, food, life, milkshakes, motherhood, poverty, rich, saving
This year I fired the Mr from Valentines Day and decided to plan a three course in-house dinner for the both of us. #iSlayedV-Day. I totally did. I obviously took no pictures but below is the selected menu.
Warm winter greens with Ceasar dressing, smoked bacon and a poached egg.
Steak au Poivre, Creamy lentils with rosemary and tomatoes and sauteed rosemary and garlic potatoes.
Poached pear with lemon sorbet
I used Rachel Allen’s Entertaining at Home for inspiration.
Posted in books, design, Heart matters, home, marriage
Tagged about us, books, cooking, design, food, Heart matters, home, marriage, recipes, relationships, Valentines Day
Posted in books, life, school
Tagged 2015, books, cartoons, economics, food, learning, life, Michael Pollan, nutrition, Oatmeal, race, school, Seth Godin, White guilt, writing
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, madness
Tagged baking, cake, coconut, data, economics, fish, food, Heart matters, home, life, madness, Malcolm Gladwell, migration, parenthood, Refugees, statistics, Tinder, Twitter, violence
As discussed here, one of the ways to cut back on your food expenditure is by having standard pantry items that enable you make a nutritious and delicious meal. Last year this is what I felt and now in 2015 I have slightly updated the list again:
This is obviously in addition to onion, frozen tomatoes, ginger and garlic and standard spices.
What would you be on your list?
Happy Birthday Uganda!! 53 today and counting 🙂
South Africa has a Public Holiday on the 24th of September – Heritage Day. There is a bit of a history of this day. There is also ill-feeling around the fact that this has now been White-washed to National Braai Day which cheapens the day. Be that as it may, I would like to commemorate my own Heritage Day and share part of what makes me, me.
- I am not a refugee. I remember being in lower primary at school and hearing people call me one and I had honestly never heard that phrase and when I dutifully went home and asked my parents what it meant, I saw the disgust in their face and honestly thought it was a swear word. My parents moved to Kenya as part of the East Africa Community and they got jobs in Nairobi. Yes I am a foreigner, but a legal one and really a labour migrant.
- The same thing applies to my status in South Africa. I am proudly foreign but also extremely legal and here by choice. Weirdly, I had my own status prior to marrying a local boy. Yes I am aware that marriages of convenience do happen but by the time we got to settling down, they had tightened up all of those loopholes. And they continue to do so even to date. Don’t even remind the number or height of hoops we had to jump through to get married.
- Growing up in a very Ugandan home but in a foreign country, was never confusing. Not in the least. Without much explanation, it was always known what happened at home and what was non-negotiable and the level of influence that we could pick up outside and bring home and you just knew what fit where.
- Some non-negotiable Ugandan aspects? We always knelt to greet my parents and other visitors, we proudly bore only our Ugandan names- my mom was particularly clear about us using our first names that identified us as coming from my fathers community and not our middle ones that are from her community. Our foods always had groundnuts, we had groundnut sauce, sweet potatoes, amukeke (dried and steamed sweet potatoes), matooke (plantain), atap (millet), firinda (beans), obutusi (traditional mushrooms), smoked and dried beef and fish. Just brought tears to my eyes and loads of salivating as I remember some of these meals.
- We also learnt Kiswahili and Sheng’ that was spoken by our contemporaries. We adopted chapati (flat bread), ugali (steamed maize flour) and sukuma wiki (kales). We wrote local exams and went to local schools living and mingling with predominantly Kenyans. My accent? How many times have I been in Uganda and had people walk up to me and refuse to accept that I am Ugandan because of my accent. I think it is now a confusing thing because the most I get is, “Are you from East Africa?”
- As I have gotten older, I have learnt not to question too much what makes me me. I have certain core beliefs that I hold dear to me and surprisingly, a lot of them are inspired by my Christian faith as I view that as my first and biggest cultural lens. Thereafter, in light of what makes the most sense to me as an African child. Some cultural practices differ from community to community and indeed nation to nation but for the most part, they are summarised by respect for all, care and regard for all and your enviroment and in some cases, there are gender expectations that you must adhere to.
- In planning the wedding, it did get confusing but even then it played out how I order my worldview – get all the requirements for the Church wedding out of the way and then get the traditional/ civil stuff finalised. The traditional stuff was a mix of both my mom and dad’s practices and you would expect it to be similar but it wasn’t and as long as I was told where to stand and what to do,I did and it got done.
- As I am getting older/ maybe in the last four to five years, I have seen an increased interest in my traditional dress (ssuka) and I delight in wearing it to special occasions. As a married woman, there is also additional jewelry that I get to wear it with which makes it even more special. An interesting finding for me was also the fact that I asked my dad whether my grandma took my granddad’s surname and he told me two things: (i) in our culture, before the wazungu (White man) came, we didn’t typically take on surnames because it was taboo to name someone after yourself unless the baby was born when you were going to die or were at war and were expected/feared dead and (ii) names in our culture are indicators of a clan and since a man would never marry a sister (a fellow clanmate) it was never expected that you would take on the new (clan) surname. On that note, I figured why take it on then?
- Something I do ask is what is Kenyan culture. What of that background contributes to me. A friend asked me recently, when you say you are going home, where do you mean? Unequivocally, Kenya. I KNOW the people, the context of stories, the language, the setting, so many firsts and memories singly and with others. It’s a whole part of my life and a part I love with such intensity, it is both exciting and scary. But is all mine to pick and play with.
- So happy heritage day and here’s to all the things that make me,me. Cheers!!
PS: If you are from Uganda (the Motherland), please let me know if my spelling of the food is fine – prior to now, I have never had to spell them out.
Posted in home
Tagged about me, Africa, belief, culture, East Africa, food, Google doodle, heritage, home, Kenya, language, Sheng, South Africa, Uganda