In person, these feelings and reflections on the past year are mostly joyful but definitely extremely emotional. I cannot put into words what this year has been like but I would like to try.
- Motherhood takes a village. You can do it alone but it is so much better when shared with people you love and trust and with whom you can point your children towards. A pal of mine shared with me that you need four or five people that you trust enough to say to your kid if you cannot talk to me about anything, you can speak to ….. I definitely have those people, both in family and friends.
- Pregnancy takes a toll on you the mother and it takes a while for your body to adjust, both physically, emotionally, hormonally and just. Be patient with yourself also, don’t stress too much about your looks.
- A baby’s personality develops at birth, observe and work with that.
- A friend told me about a mothers’ instinct at my baby shower and I was doubtful. It is true that it does kick in and that I am the best person equipped to be her mother. No one can be a better mom than me.
- The dynamics of your relationship shift significantly. Talk about it, review where you both are/ how you are feeling and to discuss. Little people can otherwise impose a lot of pressure on your relationship.
- Having a baby helped me refine how much I love people. I also finally understood how much my mom loves me. If she loves me even a little of what I feel for her then I am loved. I also know what it means when I miss someone because I sometimes miss her so much my heart and body actually aches. How does my mom cope?
- I learnt that I can be efficient with my time. I commit better to things immediately. I can function with little to no sleep.
A friend is waiting to have her first baby any time now and a popular blog I read often asks participants what advice they would give a first time mama and only now am I kind of ready to attempt answering that.
- A birth plan is great, but don’t be too tied to it, things happen so be flexible.
- Have a plan for who you want to visit you once baby comes. Be clear what you expect and what you would like.
- If your mom or sister, or other trusted female relative can come, let them. In laws are great but for the first one its nice to have someone you are closely related to.
- Have someone who loves you look out for post natal depression. It’s a reality.
- Little kids don’t need too much stuff and they outgrow stuff so quickly so don’t over shop it might all go to waste.
- If you have a partner, your communication will take a bit of a knock but resolve to work on it and adapt together.
- Babies cry. Soon you will develop a tough skin when they do. When you can’t settle them, give them a bath or strip them of their clothes for a little while.
- Lastly, you are the best mama for that baby. No one can do it better than you. YOU GOT THIS.
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged advice, babies, bath, birth plan, communication, depression, husbands, motherhood, parenting, partner, post natal depression
A little faith in the hand of a big God is Powerful!!
Husbands/ fathers/ partners are good but we all need wives.
Over the holiday I got a bit tired of listening to the same subscribed podcast content so I challenged myself to listen to shows I wouldn’t normally do or I had heard but did not want to commit to full subscription just yet. So here are some of those fantastic episodes.
- Young Love – Where should we begin by Esther Perel.
- I felt my back stand up when I first listened to her views on infidelity so I wasn’t open at all but I liked it so much I listened to this other episode on sexlessness.
- Radio Diaries’ Teenage Diariesrevisited. I love that kind of radio soooo much. I was hanging on the edge of my seat listening. Definitely subscribing. As a teen I would have loved to participate in such an activity, to be honest, even now I would.
- Other episode I loved was Thembi’s Diary.
- BBC Woman’s Hour had a phone-in on Monday on #Megxit. Hot mess.
- I love that Motherhood Sessions is back but jeez that first episode? Messy.
- Borders Between Us by The Nod stressed to me how as parents we do the best for our kids and hope.
- I have been listening to this podcast following three pregnant teens (ethics and judgment suspended) and in this episode we meet four generations of teen moms in one family. Give it a listen, it’s nothing like what you expect.
- Still Processingdiscussed Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. JUST GO AND LISTEN. IT’S GOOD.
I know it’s a lot but do yourself a favour and just listen.
Posted in books, design, good, Heart matters, home, life, madness, marriage, Motherhood/ Parenting, school, working
Tagged Becoming, Esther Perel, love, loves, Megxit, Michelle Obama, motherhood, Motherhood Sessions, Podcasts, pregnancy, Radio Diaries, Sunday Listens, Sunday Reads, teenage sex, Womans Hour
At Church we are covering a series on Grace and so far the study has reminded me of two things that I would like to share today.
The definition of grace is “unearned, unmerited and undeserved kindness and favour of God.” Grace is free and has all to do with God and His love for us a sinful, unfaithful and undeserving people.
Sometimes we forget this meaning and so it’s the third thing that we often forget and so I thought it wise to begin there. Now onto the things that I have actually learnt.
- No sin is bigger than God’s grace. There is nothing that we can do that will set us apart from the grace of God. Because if there were, it would negate the very definition of grace.
- We have to accept this grace on our own behalf. In that sense it’s personal but it’s also possible that you can reject it and miss out because we choose the penalty (death – the wage for sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ [Rom 6:23]) over and over again.
- Lastly, due to our nature, we can get very transactional with God. If you do this, I will …. I thought I didn’t do this but I see that I quite often do this I still bargain and negotiate and try to “please” God so I am slowly learning to rest in His completed work and to be still.
I pray that I continue to meditate on these truths always.
I read 38 books in 2018 but with the birth of my daughter I only made it to 21 last year which I am very proud of.
See the full list below.
Key: *** Highly Recommend ** Yeah, why not read it *Nah, only read if you have nothing else (No star) I have no feelings on the book
- The Believers – Rebecca Makkai ***
- Becoming – Michelle Obama *** I initially feared that the hype would be larger than the content of the book so I read it much later and I loved it. My only regret was by then all the book clubs had already met and discussed it.
- The Year that Changed Everything- Cathy Kelly. First of her reads and I loved it.
- It Started with Paris – Cathy Kelly.
- The Storyteller- Jodi Piccoult **Do terrible deeds define us or can we be someone else with time?
- Secrets of a happy marriage – Cathy Kelly
- Homecoming – Cathy Kelly.
- Dead to Me – Lesley Pearse. Love that it was about strong female friendships and personal endurance.
- Without a Trace – Lesley Pearse
- Just Mercy- Bryan Stevenson *** There is now a movie being made on this book, check it out.
- A River of Stars – Vanessa Hua. What a dud, don’t bother.
- Me and my Sisters – Sinead Moriarty
- The Secrets Sisters Keep – Sinead Moriarty
- Between Sisters – Cathy Kelly
- This Child of Mine – Sinead Moriarty. Skip it at all costs, this could have been a short story or a novella at best.
- Our Secrets and Lies – Sinead Moriarty
- Unnatural Causes – Richard Shepherd. This helped with my morbid fascination with dead bodies.
- The House on Willow Street – Cathy Kelly
- I owe you one – Sophie Kinsella
- Washington Black – Esi Edugyan. This was certainly an over hyped book, I wouldn’t recommend it.
- Home Fire – Kamila Shamsie *** I simply loved it, check it out.
My book of the year was The Great Believers. This book deals with the burden of being left behind to confront the memories of a sad time. Also, just how far we have come since the first days of the AIDS scourge. Please do yourself a favour and also read it.
Notable mentions were: Home Fire: A Novel and Becoming.
Books I wanted to like but just.did.not: Washington Black
How many books did you get through last year?
Posted in books, Heart matters
Tagged 2019, Becoming, books, Books reading, Cathy Kelly, Home Fire, Kamila Shamsie, Michelle Obama, reading, Rebecca Makkai, Sinead Moriarty, The Believers
I jammed to this song so much in 2019, it was my highest played gospel song.
This song is giving me pause in this season of my life. God still moves, He still works, He breaks all chains and He can work even where situations seem dead and hopeless.
This short film challenged me to love my work and to do it to the best of my ability.
I love window seats … they are so dreamy and this one has additional space at the bottom
There is something about wearing a jumpsuit to a wedding or on a wedding lineup
I love the pink couch .. what a dream
There is something about this dress ….
Posted in Heart matters, marriage, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged being married, cooking, female friendship, friends, friendship, ice cream, ice cream maker, marriage, miscarriage, motherhood, pregnancy, Quinoa, recipes, sorbet, TEDtalks, travel, travelling
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged books, Books reading, cooking, Ethiopia, history, motherhood, parenting, potatoes, recipes, time, travelling, yoghurt
Enjoy these beautiful baby pics from a very gloomy Johannesburg
Posted in Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged advice, body issue, books, Books reading, house, language, marriage, relationship advice, Sunday Reads
In this season of late nights and quiet early mornings, of little cries and fussy babies I am learning three truths about God and really reflecting on that.
- God the Creator. Throughout the pregnancy I have seen how God creates little beautiful people and the level of care and His great attention to detail. His ways make sense and when you read the Science behind it all, you cannot help but worship Him deeper and love Him even more.
- God the Provider. Isaiah 49:15 talks about how just as mother will never forget the child she is breastfeeding so also God will never forget us and will always show us compassion because He has engraved us on the palms of His hands. God knows all the details of our lives and He sees to all our needs from the small to the large. He is our Source and Sustainor.
- God is Love. I love my daughter and it sometimes overwhelms me just how much the little lady has captivated us and then I think that God loves me even more than that. That He loved me so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for me. Oh how He loves us!!
What does God mean to you as we approach this Easter season?
In light of the new phase I am in presently,I decided to share parenting-related articles
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged about me, disability, grandparents, HONY, motherhood, music, sex, snowplow parenting, songs, Special Olympics, stuff about me