…. although I would change the fact that she had to transform into the mainstream to get a seat at the table. What if the mainstream changed to accommodate her and she did not morph into a gatekeeper for the new “other”.
I have always said this and I hope this ad starts to change the conversation significantly.
Only then do we get whole men and a better society in general.
Enthusiastic recommendations for reads that will provide you with abundant reasons to rejoice, reflect or recharge, as suggested by TED speakers and TED-Ed educators. If you’re searching for some calm The Peace of Wild Things: And Other Poems by Wendell Berry This little book of poetry is my current morning dose of calm, and I use…
via TED’s winter reading list: 78 feel-good books — ideas.ted.com
In case you are looking for some great reading recommendations and some great TED talks to listen to.
10 December,2018 in books, design, Heart matters, home, life, marriage, Motherhood/ Parenting, school, working
Tagged books, Books reading, lists, recommendations, TEDtalks
Please read this post on cute things that kids say and then look at the comments as well. Below are some stand-out gems:
- Setting the scene: peaceful Saturday morning. Cup of coffee, book, couch, blanket, fireplace, spouse taking care of the baby, bliss.
Suddenly the 4-year-old pipes up: “Mama. When are you and daddy going to die?”
- I got in a 30 minute heated argument with my 4 year old once over who took care of her when I was a baby. (I had shown her a newborn picture of myself and it blew her mind to pieces.) She shrieked… “BUT MOM!!!!!! When you were a baby, and I was a baby, who was taking care of me??!! You couldn’t take care of me if you were a baby. Gasp! Oh no, was I all alone?” No matter how much I explained, the more upset she became. We finally settled on… Grandma. Grandma took care of all of us. And with that, the argument was over haha.
- “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.“
- Sometimes I overhear a kid say something funny at a store and start laughing. And then one of my kids screams, ‘why are you laughing? Tell me Tell me!’ And then it gets awkward.
- My son was at about 2 years old when he saw me coming out of the shower and said “mumma, I love your bajina.” I could not have laughed harder.
- The other day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me sweetly and said, “Mama, when you get old and die, can I have your phone?”
All this reminds me of a conversation with my 2.75 year old niece at the time who in a public bathroom asked me rather loudly whether I have a vagina and how I wanted to eat her up whole because I was not sure what would follow my answer! Urrrghs kids 🙂
Posted in Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged being an aunt, blog envy, blogs i like, children, Cup of Jo, kids, life, parenting, questions
Posted in Heart matters, home, life
Tagged Africa, Book of 1 Samuel, BSF, BSF International, Cup of Jo, grief, Johannesburg, philosophy, POTPL, recipes, sadness, Sunday Reads
In the past couple of weeks I have listened to some really interesting podcast episodes that I thought I should share.
Have you listened to something interesting recently?
HHP is one of the first South African musicians I ever loved and in some ways he reminds me of the Mr so hearing of his death yesterday was bittersweet on so many levels.
Today, I want to focus on my parents and the values they have imparted in me that I admire and hope to replicate with my children.
- Their work ethic. My parents inspired my sisters and I to work hard, to be our best and not to be limited by gender, our circumstances or other life setbacks. They themselves came from such humble beginnings and accomplished so much that by their actions and choices, you were inspired to try your best.
- Their relationship with money. As far as I know, my parents never bought anything on credit. If they couldn’t save and get it, they did not get it. Also, to save all your money, save even if you have no immediate plans, just save.
- Family first. My sisters and I always knew (know) that we were important and that we mattered to them, that they gave us their best and withheld nothing from us. They loved and even, liked us, and we never doubted this. We are our parents best investment and choice and there is something comforting in that.
- I love that their parenting style did not require them to compare any of us. To them, we are unique, we are individuals and each success was celebrated on its own and each failure dealt with separately. As a result, all five of us are friends and continue to do the same thing with each other to date.
- Faith and the role of God. He is over and above all things, always has and always has been.
- Choice. Marry when you want, there is no pressure to marry or in fact conform because we are women. Study what you want at school – whether Physics or Home science. Learn how to slaughter a chicken or change a tyre, just because you are only girls, you still need to know.
- A love for books. Yes!!!
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged about me, books, family, finances, life, life lessons, parenting, parents, reading, saving, tribute, values, women, work
In this case, my partner. What do I love most about him? There are so many things, but I had to list the top three:
- His devotion to family. I don’t think we would work so well if we did not have this in common or if we were not assured of the others commitment to their family and therefore each other.
- His ambition and work ethic. Outside of myself and my female friends, he is easily the most driven and hard working person that I know. I suspect that he even works harder than me, always gives 150% of himself, always, every day.
- His ability to chill. He is the perfect epitome of work hard and play hard. And to be honest, I need that because even when we go on holiday, I usually have 10,000 things planned and he is OK to do only one thing a day.
- Lastly, I know said three, but this must be said, his relationship with money. His aversion for credit, his desire to save, his eye on the long-term. All of this and more.
What do you love most about your significant other?
Posted in Heart matters, home, marriage
Tagged about us, being married, character, life lessons, lists, marriage, money, relationships, values, work
I recently went through an exercise to define my top values in life and it made me very reflective because values are something you never think of until someone crosses it then you realise, woah! something is off here.
- My faith in God is something that I feel very strongly about and hope that people realise when they meet me. It guides my decisions, my reactions and my feelings through life. I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty, One God in Three Persons, He died and rose again and will return. That God, even when things in life go against this thinking, my prayer is I stand in my belief in God.
- Family is very important to me. Loyalty to family, love for family. Enjoying your family. My sisters are truly God’s best gift to me and if we weren’t related, I would still want to know. My folks are the bomb.com. I always say that I would pay good money to live with them for a month some where. With the Mr, the idea is to make our home a home so we both have this enabling and loving environment where we both return to and just want to dwell in and enjoy each other. As you get older and refine your circle of friends, you ostensibly end up with friends that are like family and it is important to cherish those as well and invest in them. Friendship is important.
- Serving God and fellow man is another thing of importance to me. If I do not give back to those that are less fortunate, if I am not moved by the plight of those less fortunate than me, then what I have is not worth it. Serving in Church is an expression of my faith and that must be done but I also still delight in that.
- Working hard and being my best given my constraints is important. I love to set goals and work towards them and that feeling of meeting them and sometimes even exceeding expectations is so refreshing. I am not so concerned about being the first or the best, but being my best is good enough.
- How I work hard is by being resilient. I take stock of the failure or the setbacks and then moving forward. I care about meeting my goals and not giving up when things are tough or not going as well as I expected.
- Stability and Freedom that often comes from being educated or being financially stable. Also, from having family or friends do what they say they will, when they will do it. It helps clarify life and make things much simpler for you to really perform at that optimum level. As a worker, I also find that I like the autonomy to make my own decisions and work at my own pace as opposed to being micro-managed.
- Fun and Play because you need to refresh, slow down and enjoy the successes otherwise they are useful and you do not perform at your optimum. For me this looks like reading books, listening to music, hanging with friends and family, journaling, watching telly or traveling.
What are your top values? What defines you and makes you unique?
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, marriage, school, working
Tagged about me, faith, family, friendship, heart, Heart matters, life, life lessons, values
Having said that, there were some nice parts to living in Cape Town and I am surprised to admit that I will miss the city, in particular:
- I made some great, life long friends which I did not expect to, with the talk of Cape Town being so cliquey.
- I much preferred the mountain to the ocean truth be told.
- There was greater work-life balance.
- PechaKucha was organised more often.
- Not having to go into a mall for any small thing, you could get it at a local shopping centre.
- Driving slowly and no one hooting at me.
- Milder winters …
So I moved back to Joburg a couple of months back and I must say I am enjoying it and if I thought I loved the city before, I love it even more now. What do I love so much about the city?
- I didn’t realise how much I had missed the greenery and the trees, particularly in the area I live.
- The grime of the city and the fact that there is a beautiful imperfection.
- The warmth of the people and their sheer diversity in terms of race, nationality, creed and all other ways.
- My family and close friends live here.
- Multi-lane highways that get you where you need to go faster 🙂
- It was so much easier to join my local library.
- Hot summers and thunder showers.
Today I am grateful for:
- BSF and the brilliant notes they have been preparing for this years study.
- Great friends.
- Our home and all that it means to us in this season.
- My family and for WhatsApp that allows us to be in touch.
- Beautiful Johannesburg weather.
- Oranges, pawpaw and yoghurt.
- The freedom that my car provides me.
- Work and the ability to earn an income.
- A great cup of tea.
- Flavoured sparkling water.
For what are you grateful for?
Posted in Heart matters, home, working
Tagged Book of Joshua, BSF, BSF International, driving, family, food, friendship, home, Johannesburg, thanksgiving