Tag Archives: growth

Sunday Posts

There’s a crescendo of voices saying, ‘If you don’t do X or Y, you’re doing it wrong,’” Monk says. The result is “a kind of over-preciousness about motherhood. It’s obsessive, and it’s amplified by the Internet and social media.” 
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You and I Always and Again

A friend sent me this article earlier today and it provided me with another answer to the type of love that we have. In particular when I saw this quote:

I know I am not owed love. I also wonder sometimes if I don’t know what love actually feels like, since so many grown men have told me it’s been missing from our relationships. (One came back a year later and said, “Oh wow, I did not realize that I loved you when we dated, I am so sorry.”)

In response I would say that our love is secure and I know that I am loved for who I am and in all different versions of myself, the best and the not so great. 

I Knew I was Married When …

  1. Definitely when we unpacked our wedding gifts and as we reminisced about the little parts of the wedding.
  2. I went back to living with my sister and nephew and something was missing and I knew it was the Mr.
  3. My family would ask whether I had checked with the Mr before doing …
  4. His aunts would thank me for all sorts of things.
  5. His family would ask after me when he went for family stuff solo.
  6. It just made sense to clarify our plans before committing us socially.
  7. We hosted our first set of people at our first place.

Some days are better than others but most times I do feel married and I can’t even say what it is that makes it more than just when we were dating.

 

How Old Do You Feel?

So while in truth I am 32 years, I hardly ever feel that way. I suppose in so many ways I have age dissonance in that, that’s the number I put down but hardly do I look at myself and think, there she is that 32 year old, nah, nope, never. So how old do I feel? Well, I have three secret inner ages.

12

At this age, I fell in love with Nairobi. I was also deemed old enough to commute to the Library and church and back home unaccompanied. I also loved taking matatus (public service vehicles) and would delight in selecting the hottest one with the best music or the coolest people. I enjoyed feeling like a grown up even in this really small way.

16

At this age, I felt grown. School got tough but I managed to draw on my inner strength and focus. By this point I had chosen subjects that would pretty much determine what I studied at University and essentially my career. Now I know many people didn’t take it that seriously but I certainly did and saw each of those decisions as a major cog in the life wheel. I also remember the clarity I felt around these decisions, I was so bold and didn’t even for a second second guess myself or my abilities.

21

I literally felt like I was on top of the world. I had completed my undergrad and felt like the world was my oyster. I jokingly say, I should have rewarded myself with motherhood because thought I was single, this was the only time I felt the need to bear an heiress 🙂 But I felt young enough to be optimistic and experienced enough to have something under my belt.

In truth though, we have friends who have one or two kids, some who are divorced, others have faced miscarriages – all things that I think of as being done by big people. We have gotten married, changed jobs, moved cities and all that but somehow that’s another person not me. Do you sometimes feel that way or is your life aligned to your actual age?

 

 

 

 

Interview with a 13 year old

Describe yourself in three words Happy, kind, mhhhh happy.

Favourite Activities Gaming, talking to friends and family, reading and watching TV.

Favourite Food Cheesecake

Favourite Colour Green, Blue

Favourite Book Body Guard – Chris Bradford

Favourite PSP Game FIFA 16

Favourite Movie Cars

Favourite Song Speaker Box

Favourite Artist Kendrick Lamar

Favourite Footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Image result for zlatan ibrahimovic

What’s the best thing about your life right now?

That I know what school I am going to for high school. I was scared I would not get into a high school.

What don’t you like about your life right now?

Some of my school teachers because they are very rude and not nice to me.

What are you most looking forward to learning in the upcoming year?

Getting an iPad and a phone because I have never had either.

 

In ten years I will be …

23 years old. The youngest pilot ever.

Most important friendship trait? Kindness.

 

Why is the sky blue?

It is a reflection of the sea (apparently this question gauges maturity)

What do you know how to do that you can teach to others?

How to game and play play station (a bit contentious because he hardly plays with anyone but family or himself).

If you could be a sound, what would it be?

The speaker when it plays music because it is quite loud and the vibration sound it makes.

Who is your biggest hero at the moment?

My mom – she works hard. My grandparents – though old they still work hard (his grandma) and coz his granddad worked with planes.

Would you rather:

  • Travel for one week to a foreign country OR travel round your country for four weeks?  Travel round my country.
  • Be the best player in a team that always loses OR the worst player in the team that always wins? Worst player in the team that always wins.
  • Not be allowed to eat your favourite five foods for an entire year OR be allowed to eat only your favourite five foods for an entire year? Eat my favourite five foods daily.
  • Get to take a shower every day in cold water OR shower once a week in hot water? Every day in cold water.
  • Be given R1000 right now OR R50 monthly for the rest of your life? R50 for the rest of my life.

How much is a litre of petrol? R12.66 (It’s actually R14.01)

Would you ever break the rules for someone you loved or cared for. Why? Yes, it depends on what the thing is.

When you get to heaven what is one question you want to ask God? Where did you come from?

What fears have you got in your life at the moment? Contracting HIV and not waking up in the morning.

Enjoy xoxo

Also look back at an interview with a nine year old and an 11 year old .

Something on my heart

How can small groups deepen their faith?

Encourage your group members to choose a verse or passage of the Bible that illustrates:

  • A way they would like to grow in Christlikeness.
  • A promise they need to remember.
  • An attribute of God’s person they want to know more deeply.
  • A precept they want to apply to an area of struggle, pain, or temptation.

Sisters, Jesus is not your Cheerleader

And, to be clear, Jesus does encourage. He offers words of strength to the weary and comfort to the hurting. In a world where we so often feel we don’t measure up, we need his encouragement daily. By focusing on only part of his message, however, I’m concerned that we’ve reduced Jesus to a spiritual cheerleader. And, in turn, that’s what we’ve become to one another. We offer words of affirmation, but not rebuke; words of forgiveness, but not repentance. We rightly celebrate his grace, but often forget to mourn our sin.

How to win the war for your mind

Take your thoughts captive and examine them closely. Bring them into submission. Consider the fruit. Then fight back with gospel truths. This is how we go to war.

When we don’t love the Bible

What can we do when we’re unmoved by God’s love and the gospel’s power?What can we do when we’re unmoved by God’s love and the gospel’s power?

Good lovemaking is about God

You can have the best spouse on the planet and enjoy the most fulfilling sex life imaginable, and still this fact remains: if our hearts are not satisfied in God, they will never be satisfied. Spouses can be wonderful helpers, but they are sorry saviors. The best way to have a blessed sex life is to delight in the God who gives the gift. Jesus is always better than any gift he gives you, including sex in marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Reads

  1. Baaagh! shaving season is upon us.
  2. My oldest nephew is headed to teenage-hood. Freak out!!
  3. But why is our leader like this?
  4. Definitely baking this lemon and thyme cake this weekend.
  5. I love the idea of helping women over 40 get back into work.
  6. Marriage is often about managing details. FACT.
  7. Recommended baby shower gifts.
  8. The Real Housekids imitate the Real Housewives of Atlanta.Hopefully, they get round to imitating all the series of this show.
  9. Funny mom emoji’s.
  10. I liked Tsitsi Dangaremba and this was an interesting read.

Twenty years ago

On this day, I remember that we were all home and my dad was transfixed to the telly watching Mandela being released from prison. The thing that stuck out the most in my mind was that the telly was on during the day because that pretty much never happened at our home.  Its twenty years on and as with any newly independent nation, this is when the cracks begin to show and all the hope that was felt on that day begins to evaporate a whole lot more.

a new decade

I officially turn 25 in a couple of weeks and I cant wait. I declared to myself last year that the years 24 to 27 will be my ultimate best years for living and that I was gonna enjoy every single one of them and so far, so good. My sister and her nephew will be moving to town so it will be more of us over the next few years and thats so lovely.

As the title goes, its a new decade of the new Millenium, I am one person who takes advantage of the new year to make goals and if you would, resolutions and I had thought of a couple but I shall post about that later….Happy New year world:-)

two times lucky

today i said all that i have been thinking silently about for almost a week now. today i let you know what i feel, but what, if anything, did it achieve?

next time

losing patience

not for too long

losing myself

murder on the blogosphere

I dont want to name-and-shame the blog I have been reading the  last couple of weeks BUT…its about this 25 year old chick who has been married for the past year and how she and her pals are all getting married! so its hubby this, shower the other, friend this married this day and the other one married the other one…yuck,yuck,yuck..which made me wonder! has she no single friends who arent married and what must they feel like? (il just choke myself now/ il just jump off the ledge/ il puke on the marital bliss overdose)…eek! but what do my pals and i all have in common that makes those around us just want to choke themselves or us,whichever is painless??

BIG BROTHER STARTS ON SUNDAY…hallo no life,tra la la la:-D

Two in one day? Mhhhh….

day ONE

It seems that May is the month that I decide to do new things!  Five years ago I stopped eating red meat this month and this last Sunday I went and cut off my hair and dyed it copper red and just for kicks had them do a shaggy thing or other! I can’t remember the last time I had short hair but  it is very liberating and a key step to the new me…. Sometimes as an individual we(I) wish to make certain changes in our personal lives but so many things tend to hold us back and though we are miserable, we keep hearing what they  are saying rather than the quiet little voice within us. And for me, this is the ultimate whenever I hear of the life unlived!! Which leads me to wonder, what would I do if I didn’t have to seek the approval of anyone else and all that counted was my God and I?

Monday was Africa Day and just the weekend before that I caught myself wondering what it means for us 20-somethings to be African in this day and age? What does it mean for us as women? In addition to everything else that my parents have given me over the years, the thing that I am most grateful to them about is the fact that we were brought up in another nation and totally surrounded within the peoples culture which has given me a greater appreciation of what home is and what it means to live amidst “strange” friends and acquaintances! So enjoy being African, I mean what else would we want???

chubby

I have learnt today that the devil wont always manifest in the way that we expect him to and when he does show his hand, you wont know what he is on about or what his next move. I guess its nice what the Bible says about flee from the devil rather than start to negotiate with him.

Im in a daze is what, but I think my friend might have good news like engagements and stuff, wont last till tomorrow but have to:-)

place, where is my place?

Growing up is funny.

I mean at various points in your life, certain things tend to take precedence and thats all that one can think about and then time passes and you look back at what you were so concerned about and you just want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. I look back at the diaries I kept as a thirteen year old and the only thing that saves me from mortal embarrasment is the fact that they were written in all pureness of spirit and heart. But you know what, nothing prepares you for the uncertainty that is your twenties…..it’s the most vicious thing I have known and I want out. It’s worse than adolescence and then to make it worse,  everyone thinks you ‘are all grown up and don’t need them to hold your hand and then they just throw you out to the dogs to kinda make your way as you go along. The whole uncertainty only gets worse when its mirrored in your friends too. Its not bad enough that you are literally fighting the demons and barely managing to keep them under wraps but also that you get to see the same crazed look in the eyes of your peers.

I am losing pals. I don’t know what I can do about it but I know that being away this year has forced me to be less dependent on friendships that I had made over time. Not in a bad way but I was just thinking that in February when I was leaving, I didn’t want to go because I kept thinking how I would be leaving my friends and then they would move on and when or if i get back it would have changed too much but in hindsight, I am glad that I did and at the time and manner in which I left. Remaining would only have stagnated my growth and the kind of experiences I’ve had would never occur. The pain was certainly worth it.

0.25

Outside of my family, no one owes me anything in life and even they are limited in how much or what they can give me.

One year of growth can bring with it changes that may threaten retardation but this week a friend sent me a lovley reminder that i shall shamelessly copy paste below:

“Power is developed in the absence of human assistance”

“At times, people who treated you the worst were actually preparing
you for the best. (from mean employers to ex-es to family, distant
relatives etc) They stripped from you the cumbersome weights and
entanglements that hindered the birth of inner resilience. Yes, such
friends leave us feeling naked & even vulnerable but it is through
those feelings that we begin to adapt and see our survival instincts
peak!”

“We gain great direction through rejection. Rejection helps us focus
on new horizons without the hindrances of wondering ‘what if?’
Against this rough canvas of rejection and the pain it produces, God
paints the greatest sunrise the world has ever seen! However,
rejection is only marvelous in the eyes of someone whose heart is
wholly trusted in the Lord.”

If my memory serves me correctly it was from Naked and Not Ashamed by Jakes. I especially like the bit about developing power in the absence of human assistance. How will you know you can cross the big road if you never attempt to do so? How will you know your deserve better than that good-for-nothing man you’re with if you don’t muster the courage to walk out the door and trust that the Lord will uphold you even as you trust Him in this? I like the fact that when you’re submitted to Gods will and removed from the feel-good sentiment that people often want to share with you for whatever reason that therein He is working. There does come a time when you just gotta step forth from them and be yourself as the Lord intended and as He would have you be!

I guess this for me is about identity more than anything else, who am I? whose am I? and what am I if I take this path? and after the results? Does taking the road not travelled make you a better person or does it detract from the unseen and as yet unknown path? It is a bit scary but this year and part of last year I am coming into my own and painful though it is, it is making me a better person and on the way, the pain that I presently experience will be replaced with pleasure and when I do look back on these years of pain, I shall be sure that these were the birthing pains that would birth ideas, love, life, deeper faith, more understanding and relationships that withstood the test of adulthood, fear, bad choices and wrong advise.

false parents

I am tired in all ways of the word imagine. The vicious cycle just begins yet again and now I’m at a loss as to how much a gal can possibly take but even then, when you remove the people who hang around the peripheries its those who pupport to be close to you that can say the meanest things and laugh about it as well and then still look you in the eye and endeavour to make meaningful conversation with you! Surely,how now?

Today is the so-called run off in Zim. God Help Africa, Bless her and keep her children safe!

This guy seems to take pretty nice pictures and well, check it out!

On Oprah jana I finally saw the former gal who later changed his sex to being a man but decided to keep his womb and all because he believes thats its a human right to procreate and then later when he got married, he found out that his new wife and mother of two kids couldnt have kids as they had taken out her womb! What coincidence now that they should decide to do IVF and he/her/it would now carry the baby! At the time of watching, she was six months pregnant- kinda makes you think doesn’t it? What sex is the carrier of the child then? what makes you male or female?

 

happy new year

one of the few quotes in life that i have read and gone uh! was the one that in life we make choices and then they turn around and make us. of course thats its highly abridged version. the thing that first showed that enyewe im now an adult is when my folks begun to entrust me with a few decisions that i wholy and truly had to make on my own and darn the consequences really coz when things went bad, i had no one BUT me to blame for it all. sad times i tell you….

 i mean on the one hand, it was exhilarating that hey! im the captain of the ship and from henceforth, its me and me purely. a few agonizing moments later and last year i found myself wishing that my mom would take me on her lap and cuddle me really and take all the “biiiiiiiig” life decisions in life for me. like when i was twelve years old you know, why couldnt i have been twelve again? just last year at the height of growing up and the quarter life crisis that being 22 turned out to be.

 i KNOW for sho now that He will make straight all the valleys and smooth all the rocky areas of my life too so I can only hang onto Him and His promises to me that are yeah and amen! and beyond that is to act like the Pagans of olden times. its a new day for me and i only wish i could say to all and sundry whom i meet happy new year! i can see clearly now and finally hindsight is neither sad nor painful. only happy and refreshing…………..:-)