Tag Archives: growing up.

A little late but thoughts on Gilmore Girls

I happened to find this rough draft reviewing Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.

gilmore

  • I watched the show in bits which I thought was great. I am definitely not the kind of person that has to watch shows in one sitting.
  • Before watching the show I remember thinking that Rory was the inner me as a teenager, and wondering whether she would embody me as a (Young) Adult in 2016. And did she? YEP!! She so did. Many times and again yes. 
  • Rory the overachiever who meets the real world? Did she peak too early?? In this story line I could very much see myself and how I am procrastinating on the PhD. I also had occasion to look back at my career and wonder whether it had been good enough!!! Still not sure, the jury is definitely out.
  • I love how they speak of complex (Lorelai and Emily) and simple (Lorelai and Rory) mom-daughter relationships. Not a one sizer at all. I also love how the updated show switched up these dynamics.
  • Luke and Lorelai. Comfortable but yearning for more. Their dynamic totally made me think of the Mr and I and our dynamics.
  • Lorelai and Luke’s wedding made me want to get married again?
  • The MUSICAL???  What the hell was that for? We could definitely have given it a miss and the show would have been so much better.
  • Love the reference to current culture. Hamilton, The Wild, Marie Kondo, Uber (Oooba). Love it!!
  • Loved that Richard was part of the show despite his death. Very touching. 
  • #Teamlogan. Back then and still to date. As a married person though, I did not like how this story line played out.
  • Wasn’t sure that we were meant to believe that Rory needed three phones. In 2016? Really??? 
  • Cliff hanger of an ending!!! Does this mean there will be a second one late next year? Please say yes!!!

Did you watch the show? What were your thoughts (if you can remember)?

 

Sunday Reads

  1. How to read more books this year. I am definitely taking it to heart by reducing my junk TV viewing and making sure I always have a book as I go about various chores.
  2. A reading list on Kenya in case you are interested.
  3. If a story moves you, act on it!
  4. This article on insecurity made me stop and think. Really hard!
  5. Somali nicknames are hilarious 🙂
  6. So many white tears in this article. I see that they have only a given demographic of foreign spouses married to South Africans.
  7. Also, this IS cultural expropriation.
  8. More on how couples deal with finances.
  9. I didn’t know there were Nigerian Jews in Johannesburg. Today’s fact!!
  10. What does it mean to be a boy or girl? National Geographic asks 9/10 year old kids.
  11. Stealing from one of the comments, “This is by far the best article I’ve read regarding LBGT and the gospel.”
  12. Chocolate cake and another vegetarian pasta recipe.

Making friends as an adult is tough

{sisters} #PardonMyFro #freelancer #digitalart #blackgirlmagic #illustration #afroart #naturalsisters:

This post on friendship has been doing the rounds which got me thinking about friendships in general. I love this quote:

What I’ve been telling my daughter is this: Yes, pray for and hope for new and closer friendships. That’s a good thing to want. But also don’t be so idealistic that you don’t see the opportunities for friendship right in front of you. The person in your life that you least expect might end up the answer to your prayer.

It looks like taking the initiative when we’d rather wait to be invited. It looks like pursuing that person already in our life instead of waiting for someone who might not exist. It looks like looking out for who might need a friend more than me. It looks like keeping healthy boundaries when we feel particularly vulnerable about all this (I’m looking at you, social media).

It looks like continually keeping our eyes peeled for someone who fits our bill, but it looks even more like keeping partial solutions at the forefront of our mind when we desire companionship.

In turn this got me thinking about my friendships and I would like to reflect on this over a couple of posts.

(Long) Sunday Reads

  1. Great marriage lesson about talking honestly of our growing up experiences
  2. Clothes, beauty and Africa (NY Times)
  3. Uganda’s fastest and cheapest street food: Rolex. Do yourself a favour and google how the typical Ugandan pronounces it 🙂
  4. …. and then a brief history of Vietnam’s street food, the Banh  mi.
  5. School lunches in Japan.
  6. So much good in this story.
  7. Relationship goals. Yes!!
  8. I love mussels and this seems so simple to make at home.
  9. I sometimes feel this way about my accomplishments. Yeah!
  10. I WANNA host an ice cream social too.
  11. Because Lagos loves to party.
  12. Bringing up kids in this day and age is not for the faint hearted.
  13. Giving birth in Guinea is not child’s play.
  14. We must watch Hidden Figures. Very important story to tell!!
  15. Yummy (no egg) ice cream recipe.
  16. This is my plan for September – need to get a proposal out.
  17. I had a similar meal recently at a restaurant, YUMMY cauliflower.
  18. Some more productivity hacks.
  19. This letter. So true and poignant!

Sunday Reads

  1. These are my best friend goals for when we are 70-plus.
  2. All night after care facilities for busy parents. Very sad!!
  3. Vanilla coconut ice cream.
  4. Another pasta recipe.
  5. You don’t need a sandwich maker to make these cheese sandwiches.
  6. Such memories we all have about meeting our MILs for the first time.
  7. This is a whole post on the pressure of being a young adult now.
  8. So scary but very fascinating.
  9. A to-do list if you are looking to change your name post marriage.
  10. I am voting for jumpsuits as the official bridesmaid wear!
 

Belated Sunday Reads

  1. The movie Happiness.
  2. Environment and other influences also positively (or not) affect outcomes.
  3. Understanding land and identity in Kenya.
  4. An article whose title promised so much but gave nothing finally.
  5. Growing up today. I suddenly felt 76 years old …
  6. Certainly sure my take on this. God loves sinners, we are all sinners.
  7. Is it OK to leave your child unattended while you dash off to the shops?

Sunday Reads

Tonnes of baby/mama related reads because a close pal is having a baby!!

  1. Boosting post-partum care.
  2. Article captures how you reconcile a shift in your nationality or what you define yourself as.
  3. Presentation tips that apply to all of us.
  4. Being rich means living longer and therefore positive gains on your pension. (NY Times)
  5. I would still choose to be a kid in the ’90s.
  6. How do you keep up the creativity?
  7. Stylish senior citizens. Yaaaassss!!!
  8. Anyone that knows me knows I have been singing about wanting a four month maternity without a kid. Turns out its called “meternity”.
  9. Some people have very meaningful jobs
  10. Talent, passion or obsession? (YouTube)
  11. I recently got a juicer so i am glad for the different recipes.
  12. Mushrooms and chickpeas on toast.
  13. The many places that salt hides in food we eat.

If I Was Having Coffee With My Younger Self

If we were having coffee, I would tell you of the different moments when I knew I was grown and I was OK with it. Minute 5:22 of this video.

“As you start to get older it’s about reconciling the fantasy with reality and still maintaining the vision for your life. So that you are going towards what you want but still incorporating the reality of life’s experience and reconciling that certain things you don’t have control over.” Tracee Ellis Ross

We all have this age when it hits us that some of the plans we made as young people will not take the single format we had envisioned.

When I was young, I knew that I would one day be married, never really planned the wedding but knew that I would be married. In my head, I was going to meet my husband at 24 get married at 26 and have my first child at 28 like my mom. Well, when at 23 I enrolled to do my Masters, I knew that this was never going to happen. Also, when I started working and realised the cost of weddings, I knew I had to push it out.

Or the dream to join the World Bank Young Professional Programme? Slowly and painfully letting this one go as I approach 32 and resting on the fact that hopefully I can join the Bank at a later stage in my career.

Similarly, how quickly I dropped the dream to go to the London School of Economics and do my Masters – one day I looked at their prospectus and realised that I was not interested in their course offering.

The dream to live alone before I was married. Things changed and it was fine.

I guess at different stages I learnt that the dream does not have to come in only one format and that you know what, it’s OK to reconfigure, to rediscover to restart or redo. It’s OK. My new thing is to keep it moving and to keep trying forward.

About this blogging challenge!

Did my parents know the answers to all of life’s lessons at my age?

Adulting never gets any easier the longer you keep at it. I recently got thinking on three things in my life where I certainly needed my parents to come through and tell me what to do or how to do it.

  1. Finishing high school and having to decide what career I wanted to pursue thereafter. Then having to visit the different Universities and make my application and everything else. Coming on the back of completing high school and being told everything I needed to do, this freedom was quite sudden and frankly overwhelming. However, I oddly always knew what I wanted to do and so all I had to work on was finding a school to study Economics.
  2. Dealing with my first job. So many different things. One,  I put in an application for a Work permit and this took over seven months to finalise and eventually I had to decide whether to stop working while I await my permit or go back home and either look for a job or start the application all over again to come back and coninue with my old job. Two, dealing with a difficult boss and having to decipher honest feedback against being bullied. The hardest lesson ever that I had to go through. Three, deciding to quit and wishing I could ask my folks to take care of me again.
  3. Moving house across cities. Urgggh!! I thought of my mom for months in the build up to it and for weeks after and secretly begged that she would offer to come help me.

And this is only up until now. I cannot imagine having a first baby, bringing up kids, losing loved ones, sickness, marriage stuff. Oh dear me, please can I just go back to being twelve!

8 years

Nidhi_3 Happy hour Butterfly Wonder art

Source

On this day in history, well, only eight years ago,I boarded a plane with a plan for two years but all of my worldly possessions and came to start my Honors and then Masters Degree the next year.

All I can say, this far the Lord has brought me and has continued to sustain me through so many lessons, firsts, lasts and experiences altogether. In keeping with my desire to be grateful this year, I am extremely grateful and my heart bubbles over.

Thanks for the memories and here’s to so many more years to come.

Sunday Reads

Also known as what happens in the real life that almost always constricts a great blogging schedule!

  1. Upcycling old kitchenware beautifully!
  2. Weep for this generation 😦
  3. Great (and practical) ways to teach your children about money.
  4. Yet another lentil recipe.YUM!!!
  5. Another chai recipe – cupcakes this time.
  6. Vegetarian biryani. YUM!
  7. Something we also learn about marriage on the grind.
  8. Because she is that bit close to John Legend.
  9. On testing teenagers for AIDS.
  10. I know someone whose Dr could not tell her the right size of her baby. Very scary and confusing for the mom-to-be.
  11. Some things to do for yourself this year. I like the bit about having therapy, kinda feeling that vybe this year. Also, exploring your new city or going to a totally new place.
  12. Five strategies to get your academic writing “unstuck”.
  13. Youngest person to buy a Gulfstream Jet is a Malawian Pastor. Will leave that there.

Happy Sunday and reading!

 

10. Interviewing an 11-year old

As a follow up to this interview with my 9-year old nephew, enjoy!

What’s the best thing about your life right now?

Having family because what would you do without family? (totally unprompted; also he now has two direct cousins – my sister has a nephew and a niece)

What don’t you like about your life right now?

Getting too many responsibilities Sad smile 

What are you most looking forward to learning in the upcoming year?

How to be an awesome soccer player (He is currently the captain of the B-Soccer team)

Describe yourself in three words

Kind, loving, naughty, funny, short-tempered

In ten years I will be …

21 years old. At University, studying to be a pilot, doing FUN stuff

Most important friendship trait? They must be awesome and loyal.

Favourite Activities

Swimming, Soccer, playing PSP, Amazing race, Ice cream, Reading (but not his favourite)

Favourite Food Spaghetti and meat balls/ mince meat

Favourite Colour Green, Blue

Favourite Book Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Favourite PSP Game Naruto Ultimate Ninjas and Heroes II: The Phantom Fortress

Favourite Movie Star Wars I

Favourite Song Mama I made it Casper Nyovest; Classic Man – Jidenna

Favourite Artist Chris Brown

Favourite Footballer Pique– Barcelona

Why is the sky blue?

It is a reflection of the sea (apparently this question gauges maturity)

What do you know how to do that you can teach to others?

Being a good centre defender and how to kick the ball far.

If you could be a sound, what would it be?

Music – rap.

What is the funniest thing that has happened to you in the past week.

Walking by the pool with my eyes closed and falling into the pool with a shirt and my swimming trunks. (Horrified mother walked past and warned him against this behaviour)

If you could choose a new name for yourself, what would it be, and why?

Max. It sounds cool.

How would you change the world if you could?

Every child would be born with a Play Station

Enjoy xoxo

Thank me later … Hint: After you take off your dancing shoes …

Such memories of the ’90s being care free and learning the lyrics. And if you grew up in Kenya, chilling for matatus to go home and only wanting to be in the hippest of them (Yasssss!!!) AND, How old are 112? Jeez seeing as I am the eternal 12 year old in my heart ….

On adulting

I Can't Adult Today shirt | A Girl Named PJ

Been talking with a friend the past week about being a grown up. I guess both of us are at a crossroad making us feel a bit vulnerable.

I read this blog today (also the source of the pic) and I just screamed internally! Finally someone that gets this adult business.

  • How did my parents manage to adult so successfully? Did they ever feel the sheer panic at some of the decisions they made? How did they hide it when/if they did?
  • How did they know that it was Ok and how did they not panic when they went ahead to have five children and therefore have to make life adult decisions for them too?
  • It’s so weird because I know I am an adult (hello, 30!), I do adult things and have adult responsibilities but most times, I feel out of depth and scarily much like a 16 year old.
  • At 16, I was so driven by the desire to finish high school and weirdly, not so much about growing up because I felt I had all the freedom and some as well as  money and I was cool. Just get out of high school.
  • And then now, it’s like decisions galore and every time you ask for help, people throw it back at you like, what do you think and all I want is do this and then that.
  • So frustrating sometimes y’all. But however much it is, I sometimes look back and think, I haven’t done too shabby with myself and the few decisions I have made for myself so it’s not too bad. Not at all.

Let’s just say I am not successfully adulting today!

*PS: I love how adulting has become a verb in this post but I really saw it on Facebook earlier today so I can’t even claim this genius!

My mother and porridge

Alternative post title: How to make porridge

Porrre

For the longest time growing up, I thought that porridge had to be lumpy. Why? Because my mom made porridge for us and it was always lumpy. Always.

When I started making porridge in my early teens, I discovered that the difference between how my mom and I made porridge was time and how many activities were being undertaken simultaneously.  Me? One. My mom? A minimum of ten.

Making porridge is not difficult, it doesn’t require any particular skill and is  not time-consuming. Except if you are a mummy of five and trying to jaggle so many other mummy things in that kitchen (trying to prep the next meal, write a shopping list, think of that child that needs X,Y, consider work thoughts … get the drift?).

In making porridge, there is only one crucial step that requires your entire attention: the moment when the consistency of the porridge turns from thin to thick. And often mummy would be doing something else and only realise once the lumps (balls, I grew up calling them) had formed and it was downhill thereafter.

Once I had this epiphany and told my mom, she merely laughed and said, “… just wait and see, I also wished I could make porridge without lumps.”

Dedicated to Mummy and my two sisters that are themselves moms and would best appreciate the hassles a mummy faces in the kitchen.

I wanna be friends with this little girl in the centre

little girl centre

Source

She seems so confident, so unique and happy in her skin. Like how we all are as kids and then we grow up and find out that there are no quick guide books on how to do life and all things grown up. A couple of friends and I were speaking about this yesterday and we all lamented the fact that we are almost 30 years and still trying to figure stuff out and no one had any firm or definite answers on life. Urggh! How did the other grown ups looks so well put together?

29: Interviewing a 9 year old

I have a 9-year old nephew who gives me such joy and is so delightful and really that best thing that existed before proverbial sliced bread. As I cannot package him and sell him en masse, here is a flavour of him. Also, the mother would have a fit if I placed a picture of him but he is every bit a sugar lump and more!!

What’s the best thing about being a 9-year old?

Learning new and exciting things at school, getting older and new responsibilities

What don’t you like about being 9-years old?

NOTHING [When prompted] … uhm, washing my underwear.

What are you most looking forward to learning?

Science, flying a plane

Describe yourself in three words

Kind, loving, naughty, funny, short-tempered

In ten years I will be …

At University, studying to be a pilot, doing FUN stuff

Biggest worry?

Dying because I would be separated from those I love.

Most important friendship trait?

Laughter!

 Favourite Activities

Mathematics, Amazing Race, Cycling, PSP, Cricket, Swimming, Playing soccer with friends, eating ice cream

 Favourite Food Spaghetti

Favourite Colour Green, Blue, Purple, Black (because he knows I love it too!!)

Favourite Book Cows in Action – Steve Cole

Favourite PSP Game Brothers in Arms D-Day

Favourite Movie Cars II

Favourite Song Bruno Mars Treasure

This boy is too precious and each day there is countless of us praying that he grows up into a Godly young man like Joshua. Thinking back on all his milestones, I also can’t wait to be doing something like this with my four month old nephew and getting to watch as he develops his own personality and grows up strong and TALL as he is bound to be.

27: Letter to a collective 21 year old

I asked a couple of friends and this is a list of things we have learnt in our Twenties that we wish we had known or understood better while we were younger.

I share these with their full knowledge and permission and would greatly love to hear back from you on some of the lessons that “growing up” has taught you.

  1. It’s OK to fail
  2. We all weren’t made to be friends
  3. Personal happiness should never be compromised
  4. It’s never that serious
  5. Live your truth
  6. It is ok to change the plan as many times as need be
  7. Learn to let go of stuff
  8. Spend more time alone and working on that discipline
  9. Decisions have to be made but they can turn around and later make you
  10. Surround yourself with friends that will be with you through highs and lows

Me today

“It’s not safe here!”

Late twenty year old and loving it

I am so glad that I am in my late twenties. There is the point after being in your adolescent period when you get all the authority/responsibility that you have so desperately craved for and it hits you, man I am on my own and from here on out I’m accountable for all that happens! And it results in a lot of emotions.

It’s scary, I mean you have never been twenty before so you don’t know what to expect.

It’s overwhelming, did my parents REALLY make all these decisions for me? Huh?

It’s also exciting. Very. I choose to do what I want as and when I want to and some flourish but others not so much.

Having said that, I would trade places with my 12 year old self any day!!! Would you?