Self care is a verb

After three weeks of having school closed and hearing against and for free and decolonised education, this morning I just woke up exhausted and needing to take a breather from all of it.

Source

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I am off to take care of myself because today I cannot.

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hair, mine that is

I am not my hair
I am not this skin

I really am not my hair, especially not the fact that I currently have dreadlocks. And have had for the last 15 months or so. People have all sorts of reactions to my choice of hair style and here are a couple:

• I must be dirty. Simply because I don’t wash my hair daily and such. No, show me any African who washes her hair daily, save for the ones who have it natural and shaggy short? Whose hair is relaxed and washed daily (and this person holds an 8-5)?
• I must be into African nationalism and anti-West. Nope, not even. I think the most African thing about me was my parents’ decision not to give me a European name.
• An aspiring Rasta? Nope, very secure in my relationship with Christ, definitely want to stick with him. For. Like. Ever.

To me, hair is just hair and the rest is politics. It’s all down to personal preference and nothing more.

I can’t help the fact that people will now call me dreads or rasta. I have also been offered a joint but that doesn’t faze me. I have had my hair relaxed between the ages of 12 and 23 and then I had it natural for a bit and then I locked it. If who I am had been determined by what I had on my hair, then what would that make me? If not a chameleon? I just think my hair is my crowning glory as a woman and I would never cut it all off, but that’s a discussion for another day.

 

tl:dr

A few random thoughts I am swirling in my mind at the moment…

1. Christmas time is here…only the best time of the year!
2. A little taken aback at the Dewani case. How easy is it for someone new in the country to come to SA and just get a hit man to murder his two week old wife? And for 15K? Really?
3. This murder also just throws you, I mean, they didn’t have a long courtship and at what point exactly do you begin to discuss who the recipient is on your Life Insurance. In two weeks, have you already changed your benefactor? I know I’d not!
4. I’m turning 26 next month and oddly, I’m feeling a little anxious about it. Jeez! Get outta here to that feeling, these are my next best years and I better just embrace them…
5. Excited about an upcoming wedding in the family, cant wait! Very excited 🙂
6. Feeling the wanderlust. Wanna get into a car and drive long and hard to somewhere beautiful, where the trees swish and swoosh, and drink lovely tea from delicate little cups and feast on fattening little pastries and tarts. *Sigh, sigh* A random weekend in the country (why don’t I live in England already?) Maybe Magaliesburg?
7. Loving Simphiwe Dana’s latest CD. Love it to bits and more:-)
8. My idea of shopping is buying CDs, books and stationery. Clothes, urrgh! not so much! On Sunday, I was just mindlessly strolling through a shop when I saw this gorgeous black dress that easily goes from work to party and party to work effortlessly and it came in my size and didn’t break the bank too much.  Good times, so I scooped it up!
9. Mandatory end year function tonight…JOY.
10. Discovered two new blogs and I am overjoyed. Really lovely break for me. Always.

Happy holidays all…And remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!

PS: The title is courtesy of Urban Dictionary: tl:dr ——-> too long, didnt read!

my weeks in pics

Look One...

A further glimpse

Six weeks ago, I went and finally locked my hair. It has been a lovely experience, through the scratching and the itchy feeling in the first few weeks, which they say is totally normal and has since reduced, which they also say should happen… I love the experience a lot. I am so impatient though for them to grow and get long and for them to bond already…SIGH, SIGH..

Had Greek with my family this last Sunday and this is what I ate….

Galaktoboureko

last year 2

Looking through older posts, I found this here. And while it might be later than before, here goes 2009 in words….

1. What did you do in 2009 that you had never done before? Still thinking….
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?  I still don’t do resolutions but I hoped to finish my Masters by end of the year and of course that has been pushed out alittle…
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My high school classmate, three more of them this timeJ

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yeah, a friend from Church

5. What countries did you visit? Uganda, Kenya

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Time to relax and not be rushed about school deadlines, time to serve at my church, the opportunity to travel.

7.  What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 14^th
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a job, and having the guts to end a friendship that was a little toxic

9. What was your biggest failure? Losing a close friend, Still

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thank GOD, no

11. What was the best thing you bought? Nothing really major

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? BLANK

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? A little depressed F.W.K.

14. Where did most of your money go? Air time and lunch

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Finishing school, going home in December, the Confederation Cup and 365 days to kick off

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? BLANK

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? HAPPIER
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER
c) richer or poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Really said the things I meant rather than hold it all in.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Second guess myself and think of only the worst case scenario

20. How did you spend Christmas? Walked in the rain, spent all afternoon looking for a place to have lunch, had a laugh with the family….chatted with S

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Yes

22. What was your favourite TV program? The usual suspects….Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? NOT hate but some people there IS less affection, yes!
24. What was the best book you read? Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet, That thing around your neck, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Melanie Fiona, DBanj,

26. What did you want and get? Flowers, a duvet cover, driving lessons

27. What did you want and not get? A KINDLE but thank God for the I-Pad

28. What was your favourite film of this year? Don’t really know, can’t wait for Precious

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 25. Was at school all day then I chilled with family and loved ones after…

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Doing better in school…

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?  Skinny jeans and tight tops, Skirts and

32. What kept you sane? God, Coffee, Laughter, chat, custard donuts

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Can’t really think

34. What political issue stirred you the most? JZ and all his sheenanigans

35. Who did you miss the most? Unique. Family

36. Who was the best new person you met? No new people, L.K. and them

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Love is a risk.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. BLANK

what is?

alpha

birth

commencement

dawn

formation

origin

outset

root

source

start

2.5

Its my birthday today… I am finally 25, wuhoooooooo!

Brad and Angelina split up! Its been in the news for a long time now but it has finally been confirmed. I was so hurt when he split up with Jeniffer Aniston, I know they aren’t my family but when a marriage ends, it’s always so sad. And then, they have six kids together , both biological and adopted and you just think of the impact on them too. On the one hand, you don’t want to prescribe that the two unhappy people stay together and raise these kids, is it always so clear cut that when it’s not working,  just up and go? Very tough that solution, I guess at the end of it you just have to think things through TOTALLY before you say ‘ I do’ because even then, there is no guarantee. But I think, if you are gonna divorce or split up, rather do it early on in the relationship than after ten, fifteen or more years….My two cents.

Sometimes, when you have the incomplete facts about something, its very easy to make certain sweeping assumptions and to justify those. Case in point, interracial relationships. I often wonder so many things: why do you rarely find two people (of different race) of the same age and interests? Both of whom are resident in that country and not the case that one of them is on holiday? But then again, I am not the Lord of who falls in love with who and why and so I shall walk away from this one pretty fast. But I have learnt, I dont always know all the facts, so I won’t begin to make presumptious comments about the two individuals.

Happy birthday to me, tra la la la…..

me

1. I’m obsessed with reading this sign on the steps to class everyday as I go up the stairs to second floor. Each time I walk past it.
2. I don’t like these birds that come to the tables at lunch, they smell and I’m obsessed that their feathers have diseases of sort.
3. When cooking and following a recipe, I like to lay out all the ingredients on the table BEFORE I cook…it makes me feel like I’m on telly.
4. I can’t shop without a shopping list, but then again I like to list many things down, I feel really free that way.
5. I like to iron my towel on a cool iron, it feels so nice against my skin when I use it.

BOOORED but oh no!

I have had one of those weeks where the days seem to run faster than the 24 hours allocated to do them in…I have been getting to bed with just enough energy to just turn out the light and drop dead.

Excited about: my friend coming over for the next week and all the mischief we shall get up to, getting on well, coming clean with a friend, this  and this too! All the tools I need to feed my blogger-reading addiction.

Not excited about: marking 75 scripts THIS weekend (before the mentioned friends visit), my honesty that led to a conflict, the saids friends departure and the job hunting process

I guess, its a slow Friday and I just wanted to write something:-)

Oh no but i got something after that that i had wanted to write about all week…we went to this church on Sunday, all glitz and big screens and loud guitars and moving Worship and it confirmed to me once again why I’m such an Anglican…If I settle here I’m looking for a church like the one at home, very traditional but with myriad opportunities for me to serve at…speaking of which I was hearing about the thing that I want to be involved in: I want to work with little girls or guys, about 11 to 13 and maybe get involved with them for a couple of years and just help them navigate through live, love and faith and that thing…thats of course before my friends and I all start having babies and then we can do that for them

little pill on the hilltop

two things I do that I know I ought to stop: One, is looking at disgusting things over and over and having to commit it to my mind, the gross-ER it is, the greater the fixation! Two is feeling sad and making sure I play music that makes me feel worse about it or replaying things past that made me feel worse! And then look at what I stumbles upon! not on but I do…..so what fixation have you got?

im so foolish

My new game is to look at people and to come up with the least likeliest things about them. For instance in my exam yesterday I kept looking at my German 39 year old professor lecturer who was listening to music and trying to think of what he would be listening to. My conclusion, dude was listening to Kwaito! It would be so easy to go with Classical that its a no brainer…Admittedly, the game only works with people you don’t know too well! Another thing too, I’m  a closet Pussy Cat dolls fan….like totally! In my heart is the urge to go and be a doll dominatrix (if you dont know, thats the title of their album!) but truly, I bet you wish your girlfriend was hot like me…dontcha?

On a serious tip though, I had once blogged about the situation in Burma and then just recently hearing about the American guy who swam to her house and stayed over night despite her pleas to leave! and then they go and put her on trial! she who is on house arrest already! come on Generals, the elections are coming up soon and we have your number, they can look at less thinly veiled attempts to stop this popular candidate from running once again… I mean. Its a total ggrrrrr! Oh and i read somewhere that this Yettaw dude had earlier tried the same thing and he got stopped so this time what happened that they didnt see him?

all 26 of them

Accent: i dont think i have any! but i speak proper
Booze: nope! could be persuaded to
Chore I Hate: washing toilets and all the spring cleaning stuff that needs doing

Dogs/Cats: lovely to look at NEVER to own

Essential Electronics: Laptop; cellphone; laptop

Favorite Perfume: any bvlgari

Gold & Silver: i have both. love my silver ring most

Hometown: Nairobi baby!

Insomnia: once once when im angst-ridden

Kids: zero

Living Arrangements: with family

Most Admired Trait: diligence and loyalty

Neurotic Tendencies: honesty, tidiness, listing things out

Overnight Hospital Stays: when i was a kid

Phobia: walking on broken bricks

Quote: what the mind of man can think, he can achieve

Religion: saved, Anglican

Siblings: four sisters

Time I Usually Wake Up: five,six

Unusual Talent: curiosity and eavesdropping

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat:avocado

Worst Habit: being evasive

X-Rays: none, can i see peoples thoughts????????

Yummy Foods I Make: salad

Zodiac Sign: what are these?

on a lighter note/ about me

I realized that many of my entries are dark and too “weighty” so hopefully this will change that perception. its meant to be a list of things that make me happy,sad,whatever or uniquely just me!

1. I am saved
2. I teach twelve year old Sunday School
3. My best flavour of anything is: vanilla, cinammon, cummin, coffee or mocha
4. I love coffee and tea with a passion- a lot that is, not with the fruit 🙂
5. My favourite colour to wear is black and to decorate my house would be yellow, reds and oranges
6. I am presently addicted to chatting and Facebook
7. I love rock music especially Third Day and Barlow Girl
8. When writing, I hate using paragraphs and capital letters when i ought
9. The adjectives that best describe me: loyal, passionate, naughty, cold, analytical, detached, perfectionist bordering on control freak
10. Have a fear of walking in front of someone pushing a supermarket cart, or on a kerb thats uneven lest i fall in,  or of smelling different as a result of using new lotion/ soap/ perfume
11. I have stalker tendencies and potential
12. I have kept a journal on and off over the years since i was twelve
13. I have kept all the high school notes i passed during class hours
14. Hardly ever do i skip breakfast
15. I dont eat red meat
16. I work best in the middle of the night when all else is still around me
17. I hate jazz, instrumental, R n B, House, lingala music
18. I love love love Grey’s Anatomy, Prison Break, Gilmore Girls
19. My best fragrance is any Bvlgari perfume
20. I hate the feeling of dust between my toes, i hate it when people rub their bare feet against mine, im pretty protective of my toes generally.
21. I love writing lists
22. Favourite writers: Jodi Piccoult, Marian Keyes, Francine Rivers, Maeve Binchy
23. Favourite destinations: India, London, in Africa? maybe Tripoli
24. I cant stand dishonesty,double speak or indecisiveness
25. I’m easily susceptible to salesmen and sales pitches
26. I’m heavily into bags and earrings and of late shoes
27. I hate to beg and make people feel like i depend on them to do anything for me- id rather not ask and suffer in silence
28. I’m INTENSELY private and secretive especially about the smallest and most insignificant of things
29. Mybed means the world to me
30. Rarely do i get colds
31. I love rainy mid-mornings and afternoons

will keep updating with time so wait and see