The post’s title is from the Rihanna song that I have been playing in the background all week.
This afternoon, I went to do my hair and got talking to my stylist and this is an abridged version of that conversation.
The guy doing my hair always has this huge turban and looks full on Rastafari and once we got speaking about hair and why we wear our dreadlocks. In my case, it is a hair style but for him it is a whole spiritual thing. He tried to convince me otherwise but we decided to agree to disagree. Then we met today.
He started my asking what I do and when I said, he wanted to know what economists do. Tricky one, without having to go through the limited needs and unlimited wants first year vybe. So then he tried to guess my age and I thoroughly disabused him of the notion that I am a young ‘un. Then silence, while I savoured my hair wash when he randomly asked me if I like to go out (to set the mood, the music at Knoxx is largely Reggae and blares fairly loud) as he was dancing through some song and I twisted my nose and said no. So he asked why not and I said, well, I don’t have time and I am not really a fan of the whole going out scene. Silence again. Then he asked me, are you married? (Side note: I wear a silver band on my left fourth finger AND, I didn’t know where this conversation was headed). So I say yes and he then asked, so does your husband (Side note: always said, I’d call my husband, Hubstar or The Hubs, so henceforth, acquaint yourself with relevant terms) also not go out? I say no, fictitious Hubstar works too hard to go out in the evenings. So he asks, what time is too late and I say, 8 to 9 on most evenings. And then he asks, what time does he leave in the mornings? I say 6:30. So then he asks, doesn’t that put a strain on the relationship. when do you guys get to hang out? And I say at the weekends, and on the few occasions that he does come home earlier than that, we hang out and its not so bad. Then Silence. So later, he asks, do you have kids? I said no. Do you want any? Nope! He then asks, does The Hubs know this, with a look of such pity for the poor imaginary Hubs). So finally, he got talking about himself and his chick and the crux of this post.
He was telling me how God’s order to all of us was to go forth and multiply and that we need to do that. So I nod and ask him if he has any kids and he said no, and how he told his current chick that if they ever had any kids, he would have to have them tested. And first I didn’t hear that bit so I say,huh and he repeats it again. Turns out, he has been with the chick for four years and in the last year, she has stepped out on their relationship and played him and that’s why he told her to her face, turn up preggers and I’m getting the kid tested to check its mine! So then, he goes on to tell me how he found out she had played him. (If you are wondering, I was at the salon for about 1.5 hours, hence the intensity of the conversation.) Apparently, she was crying and this dude came and comforted her and he kissed her and she kissed him back and the rest is history. So he asked her, why didn’t you think of me while you were doing this? Good Q. But apparently, he got so pissed off, he HIT her. He beat her up and then he cut her hair. Apparently, the latter is prescribed by the Rastafari community and for certain “baddies”, the prescribed punishment is cutting of said (spiritual) hair.
What pissed me off about all of this is the double standard. The fact that, he beat her and no one cut his hair and it was fine for him. He went on to say how he had been provoked to the point of no return and how he needed to stand up and let her know she was woman and he was man! There’s other ways to prove this point, me thinks! There is no justification for beating a woman and that’s it! There is nothing more that anyone can say. He tried to argue and say that he had been pushed to breaking point, one time too many and he had to do this. No, nothing like she made you do this. I agree, that in relationships you do have ups and downs and moments when you drive each other to breaking point and while the guy might argue that she made me do it, what does he think she will do when he similarly provokes her? There is no possible explanation to beating women or men. Walk away and when it gets to the point where you are done walking, split up. Its not worth it.