Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. James 1:26
With those close to me, I love to talk. But equally, I tend to say things that are undesirable or hurtful and so my desire and prayer is that I would learn to restrain my tongue, being slow to speak and anger and quick to listen (James 1:19) starting today and always by God’s strength.
Courtesy of this journaling prompt.
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, marriage, working
Tagged about me, belief, Book of James, faith, Jen Wilkins, lessons learnt, speech
Possibly in a bid to cheer myself up after the last post, I found the following images of black women and it made me insanely happy so enjoy!!
Black is beautiful
Black is strong
Black is me and I love it!!
On the last night of BSF we typically have a sharing night where class members share with each other lessons and thoughts of the study. It is a very encouraging and motivating part of the lesson as the Holy Spirit continues to affirm that He is the one who reveals knowledge to each of us.
Below see some of my thoughts and I pray that you will be deeply encouraged/challenged as I was.
- The Father and the Son act in one accord always. Jesus acted in total obedience and submission to His father and was obedient to death, even death on the Cross (Philippians 2:8).
- God is Sovereign – He ordains all things so that scripture will be fulfilled. This was confirmed for me particularly at the trial, crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord – He was in charge at all points, even when He gave His spirit on the cross.
- Through looking at the relationship between Father and Son, I was able to reevaluate my identity as a Child of God (John 1:12 -13) and to critically evaluate those relationships that were providing a pseudo identity. It particularly helped to read that believers are a gift from the Father to the Son (John 17:2) and we are securely held in the Father and the Son’s hand (John 10:28).
- Believers bear fruit as they abide in Christ. This forced me to look at the Fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) again and ask those around me to help me identify where I am not bearing fruit. It was challenging to hear but definitely true and it gave me another reason to trust and ask God to help me overcome this area of growth.
- The character that most reminded me of myself is definitely Peter. Oh how I wish I could say I was like John but I saw repeatedly how self confident I am as opposed to being God-confident.
- I was struck at how unbelief in Christ existed throughout the gospel. I had previously thought that it only grow during that Holy Week but it was only present among the Pharisees and the other Jewish leaders throughout His life on earth. However as John explicitly says that he wrote this book that we would believe and by believing we would have eternal life (John 20:31), this is what I learnt about belief:
- Jesus confronts unbelief to expose the heart. I was particularly challenged at how praying small prayers ultimately demonstrated that I did not fully believe that God is able to achieve significantly above all I can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
- A believers’ sole identity is in Christ and nothing (or no one) else.
- God provides evidence for each step of belief.
- I also learnt that obedience is the lens that allows us to see the purpose that we were created for. Also, through the depth of my obedience am I able to show my love for Jesus Christ.
Having learnt all of this, I can also say that my discomfort at the number of the unreached (unsaved) also grew. It is appointed for man to die once and after that to face judgment (Hebrew 9:27). My responsibility is purely to share God’s word and leave it to Him as he awakens faith in us and causes us to believe. While scary, failure to believe means meeting Jesus as Judge as opposed to as Saviour and Great High Priest. So I pray that we may continue to share the reason for our Hope when asked (1 Peter 3:15).
This morning the Mr and I had a little fight. I had to take my car for a service – something that in my horror, totally feels like a dentist’s visit what with the information asymmetry, pain (actual and to the wallet) and the fact that there is a specialist whom you trust but then again, information asymmetry. At the root of the fight though is that ugly word: Expectations.
Any one about to be married, or married for a day and an hour will long have heard the mantra that expectations kill a marriage and that the counter is communicate, communicate, communicate. Our little fight had me reassessing all the different expectations that I had regarding marriage and an assessment of all other expectations I have held since our marriage started.
- I expected a partner that would take charge of cars and who would directly engage with mechanics and basically inform me when I needed to do any car-related changes.
- Ergo, any fixing of stuff around the house. I would highlight any issues and he would oversee to the fixing – whether directly or outsourced, I am ambivalent. To be honest, a lot of the technical stuff I was happy to delegate away.
- All newly weds are told that they need to set time for date night or else … Consequently, I too came into marriage with this (fear-driven) expectation and very early on we both figured out that given the pace of our lives it would be infeasible to designate a specific evening to always hang out. Having said that, when one of us is hectic, there is no expectation to do stuff but when things simmer down, we often hang out.
- My family has a habit of starting to plan for Christmas from as early as August/September. His family? Not so much. Initially this made me feel slightly helpless. Besides the family tradition, my personality is such that, you can never be too prepared OR start preparing too early. What we now try and do to incorporate both our idiosyncrasies is to have a lose discussion in September and refine it in the following months. This is certainly imperfect (according to me) but it definitely helps somewhat.
- I thought that I would hate meal planning. Turns out, I love it.
- Sometimes as wives we expect that our husbands will become our best (female) buddy. That’s not the case and surely it’s not the reason that we fell in love to begin with. So keep your buddies and work on building a friendship with your husband too.
- Before the wedding I had heard of brides that often felt a bit sad after the wedding because things had gone back to “normal”. Did I feel the same way? Emphatically, NO!! After the energy and time spent planning the wedding, I was only too happy to settle for normal.
I must say these lessons are over and above learning how selfish I am, how much space and time alone I require. All of that. Marriage is certainly not the penultimate goal, neither is it my most defining relationship but I must say I have learnt a lot and it has been very fulfilling for me.
Posted in Heart matters, marriage
Tagged about me, about us, conflict, date night, friendship, in-laws, love, marriage, meal planning, planning, relationships, Wedding
- If you are not a Longreads fan already, here is a list of their best articles of 2016.
- I am all about female friendships and stuff. I also love the authors idea of an article’s club.
- My friends and I have these kinds of conversations all the time. Why can’t I ever record them???
- Things people say after a miscarriage.
- Black Power!
- Kindness is the glue that holds couples together.
- What to choose when considering a Bible Study to join. We all need tips on how to improve our prayer life. Yep. At least me!!
- I guess con artistes are always looking to make a quick one so academia is also fair game.
- Short-run solutions to youth unemployment in South Africa. Can young offenders reform successfully?
- I love the aesthetics of this home!! This housing option seems quaint, but not for me.
- Helping kids to make New Year resolutions. Some help for adults too. More help from podcasts.
- Cool places to chill in Johannesburg. And in Uganda.
- On identity and what makes us, us.
- I watched the movie Birth of a Nation and liked it.
- Recipes: Cooking with soy sauce. Fragrant Chickpea Basmati Rice with Fresh Coriander.
Posted in design, good, Heart matters, home, marriage
Tagged 2017, about me, cartoons, cooking, Johannesburg, new beginnings, new year, parenthood, pregnancy, recipes, resolutions, Sharee Miller, Uganda
I have to make some life decisions and that always makes me draw back on previous decisions I made and how those turned out. Some of the decisions I have made in life that I am quite proud of:
- The decision to accept Jesus as my Lord to live for Him after.
- To study Economics.
- To never try hard drugs.
- To settle down with my husband.
- To drop certain friendships.
- Financial discipline.
- To stop eating red meat and to a smaller extent chicken.
- To leave a straining job with no prospects at the time.
Are there any decisions I regret? Sure but that’s another days post 🙂
Posted in home, marriage, school
Tagged about me, adulting, decision making, decisions, diet, economics, faith, marriage, pescatarian, school
I was listening to Cape Talk this afternoon and the presenter was talking of the touristy things in Cape Town that local residents had never gotten round to doing. This triggered a similar thought for Nairobi. So here goes my list according to Travel Start and Migrationology.com.
- Go Karting on Langata Road.
- Ice Skating at Panari Sky Centre.
- Watch a local production at Phoenix Theatre.
- Visit the highest floor of the Kenyatta International Conference Centre (KICC).
- Attend Rugby Sevens.
Do you live in an iconic city? Have you crossed off most items on your city’s to-do list?
According to WordPress, today is NINE YEARS since I started blogging. What? Where has time gone?
This here little blog really means so much to me and gives me an outlet to share about myself and some of my interests and I am grateful for this opportunity and for many of you guys that read, comment, like and follow.
Thanks and here’s to many more!!
Posted in books, design, good, Heart matters, home, life, madness, marriage, school, working
Tagged about me, anniversaries, blogging, stuff about me, Wordpress
If we were having coffee, I would tell you of the different moments when I knew I was grown and I was OK with it. Minute 5:22 of this video.
“As you start to get older it’s about reconciling the fantasy with reality and still maintaining the vision for your life. So that you are going towards what you want but still incorporating the reality of life’s experience and reconciling that certain things you don’t have control over.” Tracee Ellis Ross
We all have this age when it hits us that some of the plans we made as young people will not take the single format we had envisioned.
When I was young, I knew that I would one day be married, never really planned the wedding but knew that I would be married. In my head, I was going to meet my husband at 24 get married at 26 and have my first child at 28 like my mom. Well, when at 23 I enrolled to do my Masters, I knew that this was never going to happen. Also, when I started working and realised the cost of weddings, I knew I had to push it out.
Or the dream to join the World Bank Young Professional Programme? Slowly and painfully letting this one go as I approach 32 and resting on the fact that hopefully I can join the Bank at a later stage in my career.
Similarly, how quickly I dropped the dream to go to the London School of Economics and do my Masters – one day I looked at their prospectus and realised that I was not interested in their course offering.
The dream to live alone before I was married. Things changed and it was fine.
I guess at different stages I learnt that the dream does not have to come in only one format and that you know what, it’s OK to reconfigure, to rediscover to restart or redo. It’s OK. My new thing is to keep it moving and to keep trying forward.
On this day in history, well, only eight years ago,I boarded a plane with a plan for two years but all of my worldly possessions and came to start my Honors and then Masters Degree the next year.
All I can say, this far the Lord has brought me and has continued to sustain me through so many lessons, firsts, lasts and experiences altogether. In keeping with my desire to be grateful this year, I am extremely grateful and my heart bubbles over.
Thanks for the memories and here’s to so many more years to come.
I have enjoyed posting so much this year and pushing myself to write more, write in different formats or on different topics than the typical ones I would. Thanks for the reads, sharing and comments!
- My theme this year was on obedience.
- Listened to great music too!!
- Took care of myself!!
- Really got into podcasts.
- Ten little things I enjoyed this year (the first of many similar posts)
- I hurt when the Xenophobic attacks broke out! In February. Twice.
- Read a lot about women struggling with infertility.
- Cooked some nice things.
- Read some good and bad books!! The invention of wings was easily my book of the year.
- Made a personal announcement too!!
Enjoy and looking forward to 2016!!
Posted in books, design, good, Heart matters, home, life, madness, marriage, school, working
Tagged about me, books, Cape Town, cooking, design, dot, good, Heart matters, home, life, little things, madness, marriage, motherhood, music, Podcasts, reading, school, theme verse, working, xenophobia
Check out this definition by Jason Zweig:
ECONOMIST, n. A professor who studies the interaction of people, goods and money in a chaotic world. To do so, the economist applies mathematical tools that are the equivalent of using a ruler and a stopwatch to measure the movement of matter in a particle accelerator, where the velocity of subatomic particles can approach the speed of light. The painstaking measurements taken by the economist enable him to make powerful predictions about the future behavior of the ruler and the stopwatch.
Wouldn’t do any of these but I would love to be friends with the girl that could carry them off.
Yes, I still check out wedding stuff from some of my old favourites.
My favourites are number 1 and 4.
Love that #1 is playful but it could also be adapted into a long, short or midi dress. I also like the polka dots on the trail and seeing it again, it could be done into a jumpsuit!
#4 has the type of neckline that I just love and indeed, my wedding dress had an illusion neckline as well.
If you any girl that would wear these dresses, send her my way 🙂
Posted in design, Heart matters, life
Tagged about me, clothes, design, fashion, friendship, Heart matters, life, love, shopping, wedding dress, weddings
I can easily name a handful and a half of women that I would do this with/to!!
Missing my gals (and cheers to discovering a new comic).
Posted in design, Heart matters
Tagged about me, design, female friendship, friends, friendship, Heart matters, life, love, relationships, women
My current bag …
From left to right:
- A wallet
- A notebook
- A pen and highlighter
- A small purse for delicates and a card
- My drivers licence and ID
- Lip care stuff
- Hand lotion
- Contact lense solution and case
- Specs case
- A book
- Random receipts or papers
So what do you always carry in your bag?
…. this is a list of things I have to do!
Fun times ahead …. xoxo
Over the past three years I have tried to blog each day in October and each time it has been quite the experience! I start with a definite list of what to talk about and I try and make it 31 on the list then in-between life happens and I add some other items in between.
I have enjoyed this October and thanks all for the support. I must say it gets better with each round!!
See you in 2016 God willing!
Seems like October is the month when I announce or detail changes in my personal life and this year is no different!
The Mr and I are headed to Cape Town and while a part of me feels meh! about it, I am also looking forward to it because I feel it will be a lovely time for us in this phase of our life. So packing, moving and getting used to a new city!!
Posted in home
Tagged about me, about us, Cape Town, Cape Town Stadium, change, changes, home, life, life lessons, marriage, October, Table Mountain
That I have gotten mainly from my dad and my stylish first born sister. Also, stuff that I have picked up over time.
- Always be comfortable in whatever you wear. Otherwise you get awkward and it shows.
- Dress appropriately for whatever the function / occasion.
- Fit, fit, fit …. pick the right size of clothes. Always.
- My sister always says wear a belt with any pair of trousers/skirt that has belt hoops.
- Carry a handbag (When I was nine, ten, eleven, she would already try and impress this on me and I would look at her like huh? and now look at me!)
- From my dad, don’t mix black and brown. I NEVER DO!
- If you wear something chunky at the top, balance it out with something fitting on the bottom.
- I NEVER wear skirts with shoes that show my toes. Just eeks me out!
- I prefer round toe heels because feel like they are kinder on my toes.
- In general I am a very conservative dresser – not too loud prints, very dark tones, sensible and comfortable shoes.
Any fashion rules you live by?
Posted in design, good
Tagged about me, advice, clothes, colours, design, dressing, fashion, good, life lessons, shoes, style
Following from Fridays post and this one two years back I would like to extend the list by a few things that say home to me and that don’t feel the same here
- Kenya has a huge tea culture. Even when families have a big do and people have been drinkin’ when tea time (4-5pm) rolls in, people – old and young, male and female, will all take a break and have a cuppa. Not so much in SA. How many times have I hosted people, offered tea and heard, ” well, we are drinkin’ so maybe not.”
- Also, just the fact we prefer tea to coffee. Despite growing and exporting both.
- Also, just the fact that it took me years to find a local brand of tea bags that was brewed as strong as the one I loved at home. Hello Five Roses African Blend which is perfectly strong and is sourced from Eastern Africa teas.
- Taxis that do not have a fare collector or someone that calls out the route. Meaning that the person that seats up front, next to the driver, has to take the fare and give back any change. Nerve wracking when I used to take a taxi where the fare was R11.50 per person and you had to quickly decide how much was due for all the 15 taxi passengers. Fast. It also never ceased to amuse me how the driver would be so uninterested i.e. if you needed him to give you two fifty cents for R1, he would look ahead and say he has no change! So what must happen?
- In addition, you have to learn all the different taxi signs to be able to signal correctly to the driver.
- All this, against the fact that I do not speak any Zulu, which is standard taxi language for Johannesburg. NERVE WRACKING!
- Also, I find that I still compare the price of taxi (matatu) fare in Kenya v SA. Very expensive in South Africa.
- Standard rice in South Africa is fat and Basmati is quite expensive. I will just leave that here because in Kenya we have different quality of Basmati rice for all!
- One ply tissue? One ply tissue? WHY? What does it do. I find that I totally judge any establishment that has one ply because ONE PLY TISSUE IS INEFFECTIVE!
- Fast food and eating out is much cheaper in South Africa than in Kenya. Although, the food in Kenya is naturally organic whereas it is highly processed in SA. On this, I would rather be in Kenya.
- Being asked all of the time (still) what my name means. Urrggh! Almost universal fact is that all South African names have a meaning and it is expected that similarly African names on the continent will be the same. Which for the most part is true. I just happen to be that minority with a name similar to a local name that has a meaning, but mine doesn’t. It would take a separate post to explain all the inappropriate places where I have been asked what my name means – just off the top of my head, calling for official purposes to speak to an individual and having to leave a message with the receptionist who will keep me on the phone longer to ask what my name means and whether I have heard of the local equivalent. Urgggh just urgggh!
- I miss the fruits in Nairobi that taste great all the time!! Not so much here where it’s a lottery of what you might get.
- Talk radio. Bye Bye all the morning drive filth in Nairobi. Just good bye and good riddance!
- How the country bleeds or shines when the Boks, Proteas and Bafana Bafana play. I don’t get it. I am most likely to be the person shopping because people are at home or at Sports bars and I can finally pack by the entrance to the shopping centre.
- South Africans have labour rights and a social security system that actually works. It still surprises me!
- The state of education. I argue all the time with people I know that it is unacceptable and that in Kenya poor people work hard and get the best quality of education that they can possibly get for their kids and the pass mark is much much higher than here. It saddens me that in Public primary schools, the kids get like half an hour of homework, Monday to Wednesday and maybe on Thursday and this stops almost a month to the final exams! Yes, I know there are private schools but there you get what you pay for – as it to be expected!
- Beach fronts in Cape Town and Durban are easily accessible to the public. You can park your car and walk to the beach and not to have to walk through a dingy path or pretend that you had gone for drinks at a hotel. Nah! None of that, you just walk across and sit beach side 🙂
- Expiring data??? Not sure if this applies in Kenya but where does expired data go? Does it slow down or what happens? I do not understand why data has an expiry date.
- Also just Kenya rocks for the fact that Wireless is widespread and the net speed is much faster.
- Our lackluster presidents. UK and JZ belong together and both sadden me!
If you have been to or lived in either country, please let me know your thoughts? If you have only ever lived in the one country, what makes it home for you?
Posted in home
Tagged about me, Cape Town, coffee, commuting, Durban, eating out, education, home, Jacob Zuma, Kenya, names, South Africa, taxis, tea, Uhuru Kenyatta