In light of the new phase I am in presently,I decided to share parenting-related articles
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged about me, disability, grandparents, HONY, motherhood, music, sex, snowplow parenting, songs, Special Olympics, stuff about me
- Books to inspire healthy eating.
- Taking care of your knives. I got so many knives as a wedding gift, so this is personally meaningful.
- Imagine finding out that what you think of your parents is not so.
- Considering all the stuff on HONY the past two weeks, this is so painful to imagine.
- Like her blog and this post because it had products that I could probably use.
- Probably the only review of Lemonade that resonates.
- Learnt a new word this week: syndemic!
- It is so true that children have to be taught to hate.
- This portrayal of beauty in Kenya over the last 100 years is NOT really representative in my eyes.
- I used to advocate for the death penalty.Not anymore.
- I really miss living in the same town as my best best friends. I said it!
- Love the show Blackish, very interesting to listen to the interview with the shows creator.
- Different recipes
Posted in books, design, Heart matters, life
Tagged beauty, Beyonce, Black-ish, books, Cancer, cooking, female friendship, HONY, Lemonade, parenthood, recipes, TV
Posted in design, good, home, life, marriage, school, working
Tagged Alanis Morissette, career, conversation, cooking, design, education, good, green beans, hazelnuts, home, HONY, housework, Humans of, Ironic, life, marriage, Michael Phelps, PhD, productivity, recipes, relationships, school, Sunday Reads, tea, women and men roles, working
“I met John in India while studying in a Hindi language program. He did all sorts of exciting things. He was from San Francisco and worked for all these super lefty politicians. In his twenties, he pretended to be a teenager so he could go back to high school and write an article about it. He did philanthropic work in African rain forests. Life with him was like a long vacation. Every day was an adventure. He’d literally wake up every morning and say: ‘Today’s an adventure.’ We dated for nine years. But he didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want to have kids. And even though he wanted to save humanity on a macro scale, he just wasn’t that warm. I never felt like I could come home in a way. So eventually I ended it. I met my current husband online. He was ‘all in’ from the very beginning. He doesn’t live in a rainforest, but he feels like home. If my sister sends me a picture of my niece wearing huge sunglasses, he doesn’t roll his eyes. He laughs even harder than I do.” Source
Last evening I was speaking to my high school pals and we got talking relationships. In particular, one of the ladies was talking about a friend at University that dated this guy for three/four years and then then she called things off because he just wasn’t ambitious enough for her liking. Fast forward to three years later and his bit jobs have gotten him loads of recognition and he is now doing that much better than when they were together.
What I know?
Sometimes you can be with a great guy, but he is not good for you but could definitely be great for someone else. And that’s OK. The guy in the HONY story sounded great, but he was not good for her and she has much better now.
Also, someone can be great for you but the timing is off and you break up only to pick up the pieces years later and get on and your relationship advances.
You can always see if your partner has potential – I believe that certain traits that are indicators of success or stability (emotional and mental, included) can be determined in the course of dating.
In a bad situation, no external person can tell us what to do. We may get advice but at the end, the decision to stay or not must come from the individual.
Slight contradiction to four above, I still tell people if something is off. My personal motto is better a broken engagement than a broken marriage. So I ask and I prod and heartily welcome it from my friends.
What I know for a fact is that relationships are not linear and they do not develop in this way at all.
They take time.
They are nuanced.
They vary from pair to pair and time to time.
And that is even in a committed relationship, people change as do the couple’s needs and it is important to be frank about these and keep re-committing or choosing to stay put.
Brandon from Humans of New York has been on a mega roll this past week. Love the following two quotes:
On love and more than just love, secure love.
“I feel much more secure in my current relationship. Everything about my last relationship felt conditional on me measuring up, which magnified my insecurities. There was a tentativeness to everything. It’s hard to explain, but it was certainly felt. It could be a slight hesitation in holding hands, or an unwillingness to talk about the future. Or if he did talk about the future, he used tentative pronouns. It was ‘his’ future and not ‘our’ future.”
I once loved someone that didn’t love me back and if he did, he didn’t show it in a way that made me feel secure and loved. Now that I have that, I can totally relate with the quote above. If the guy or girl doesn’t ever talk in “we” and of “our future” I would say walk away. No, RUN! Otherwise, the doubt and the fear becomes too crippling and you can never quite leave of your own volition but you also somehow know that one day, it will all be over, just like that.
On being a mother and maintaining your identity.
“I’m trying to raise three children and not lose who I am. I used to be a fashion buyer, and I got a lot of satisfaction from that, but now it’s so easy for life to be all about the kids. They need me all the time, and my whole identity seems to be wrapped up in seeing them learn and grow every day. So I’m trying to do something everyday that’s just for me. It could be as simple as flipping through a fashion magazine in a café. I just want there to be something left of myself when they grow older and leave the house.”
My worst fear is losing my identity and only being known as mom and wife. So I like that her remedy is the little things, keep doing stuff that I love that makes me happy. My mom loved to walk the high street on a random afternoon between leaving the office and coming home. My mom’s room was a haven to her, her little space where we children were only ever allowed under the strictest circumstances and only for a limited space of time. I now see why she did that and I love her all the more for it.
Posted in good, Heart matters, life, marriage
Tagged Brandon, good, Heart matters, HONY, Humans of New York, life, love, marriage, motherhood, relationships