Category Archives: life

Sunday Reads

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Sunday Reads

Belated: (Women-related) Sunday Reads

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Sunday Reads

  1. Interesting take on development in Africa through the tale of the seed industry in Uganda.
  2. Even I got punished for speaking an African language at school.
  3. More women than men in Lesotho are in school.
  4. Technology is definitely making life easier for refugees.
  5. This seems like a simple DIY even I could do.
  6. As Christians we do not look to our circumstances but the hope of Christ and His promises!
  7. A mistake is just a moment in time.”
  8. Be ambitious for life and not just work. Yes!
  9. Ten places to visit in Nairobi.
  10. Six hot podcasts on and by Africans to listen to.
  11. Yummy lemon cake.
  12. What is a PhD?
  13. Awwwww at this cute child‘s response to her mom. Oh dear for this old man.
  14. Lime zest and cardamon mandazi.
  15. Some really inspirational girls!

A little late but thoughts on Gilmore Girls

I happened to find this rough draft reviewing Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.

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  • I watched the show in bits which I thought was great. I am definitely not the kind of person that has to watch shows in one sitting.
  • Before watching the show I remember thinking that Rory was the inner me as a teenager, and wondering whether she would embody me as a (Young) Adult in 2016. And did she? YEP!! She so did. Many times and again yes. 
  • Rory the overachiever who meets the real world? Did she peak too early?? In this story line I could very much see myself and how I am procrastinating on the PhD. I also had occasion to look back at my career and wonder whether it had been good enough!!! Still not sure, the jury is definitely out.
  • I love how they speak of complex (Lorelai and Emily) and simple (Lorelai and Rory) mom-daughter relationships. Not a one sizer at all. I also love how the updated show switched up these dynamics.
  • Luke and Lorelai. Comfortable but yearning for more. Their dynamic totally made me think of the Mr and I and our dynamics.
  • Lorelai and Luke’s wedding made me want to get married again?
  • The MUSICAL???  What the hell was that for? We could definitely have given it a miss and the show would have been so much better.
  • Love the reference to current culture. Hamilton, The Wild, Marie Kondo, Uber (Oooba). Love it!!
  • Loved that Richard was part of the show despite his death. Very touching. 
  • #Teamlogan. Back then and still to date. As a married person though, I did not like how this story line played out.
  • Wasn’t sure that we were meant to believe that Rory needed three phones. In 2016? Really??? 
  • Cliff hanger of an ending!!! Does this mean there will be a second one late next year? Please say yes!!!

Did you watch the show? What were your thoughts (if you can remember)?

 

Guest Post: Things to do Before Baby Arrives

I read this article citing a few things that the author (a mom-to-be) wanted to do before the baby came and convinced a dear friend to write her own list. So with no further ado, please welcome Simple Girl blogging over at (Simple Girl Writes).

Three months ago I walked into the hospital and about 12 hours later was announced as a mother to a precious little girl. Yes, I said I was ‘announced as the mother’ as I only really felt like her mother two months later (but that’s a story for another day…). A friend asked me to compile a list of the things new mums should do before their bundle of joy arrives as you will most likely spend the first six/seven weeks in a haze where you won’t even remember your own name! Be warned, this is not the typical list outlining the very practical things to do (book the hospital bed, go to antenatal classes, take your vitamins etc.) – this list is for the mama that is worried about how much life will change post-baby. And trust me, life will change!

  1. Buy that dress that shows off your new curves and go dancing (or shuffle depending on how swollen the legs are)

I was lucky enough to have a fairly small bump for most of my pregnancy and up to 30 weeks pregnant, I could get away with saying I’ve just gained “a bit of weight” around the tummy. So imagine my horror when I had to go shopping for a dress to go to a wedding with a massive bump at 31 weeks.

Let me tell you, there’s nothing that makes you realise that you are pregnant (yes forget the previous 30 weeks of pregnancy symptoms!) like going shopping for a dress in a mall. Apart from the pity stares you get whenever you walk into a MANGO or ZARA and lovingly touch a dress that you used to fit into a couple of weeks ago. The real horror comes when you are shown the ‘maternity wear’ – long, flowy, pitiful looking dresses that are supposedly supposed to make you feel good about being a baby mama. I took one look at those dresses and almost burst into tears (let’s blame the hormones!).

To cut a long story short, I ended up finding something to wear in a store catering for the ‘plus-size’ lady Ya…I will reserve my comments but the dress was beautiful and I felt good enough in it to go out the next day and dance away.

Trust me, you need to do this – you will forget about the pitiful stares, swollen ankles, achy back and the closet full of clothes you can no longer wear. Most importantly, you will look back at the photos from the day and said dress with a massive grin.

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  1. Take photos of the growing bump!

I didn’t manage to get the professional maternity photo shoot (even though a good friend had offered to do it for me) but I did force the husband to take a lot of photos.  I won’t lie, I struggled with the body changes associated with pregnancy. Unlike other women, I didn’t marvel at the growing bump or liked my bump that much 😦 but take the pictures anyway! It’s worth remembering where the bundle was home for months and even funnier to look at post-baby to remind yourself how big you really were!

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  1. Go on a fun holiday with your closest girlfriends

This one I strongly recommend you do.

I am the first one to have a baby amongst my friends (the last one to get married though – judgment galore!) and they were more excited than I was about having a preggy belly in the circle. So when the chance came to have a last hooray as friends before life dramatically changed – we went on holiday to probably the most random place I’ve been to (Cinsta in the Eastern Cape). It literally was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a while. We stayed at a backpackers, ate way too much, overindulged on chocolate and biscuits (you know, all in the name of helping the pregnant lady with her cravings), went to a beautiful spa for overly-priced pedis and massages and just generally had a blast.

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  1. Babymoon!

Similar to the girlfriend hooray above, I strongly recommend going on a babymoon. The time to enjoy ‘the two of you’ for the last time. If you have the budget for it, planning a trip far away from home would be ideal.

We did a ‘Sho’t left’ to Umhlanga and spent almost every day at the beach with me stuffing myself with frozen yoghurt (I had a sweet tooth while pregnant!). But even without the vacation, just doing more stuff as a couple is important before baby arrives. I didn’t believe it when people told me but the relationship really changes after birth. In a good way overall but I do miss being able to plan a night out without calling every single relative we have living in close proximity to us, to check who is able to babysit for a while. Also, believe the mantra – happy parents make for a happy family so the time spent on the parents is never a waste.

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  1. Read those books/ go to gym/take the long showers/play Adele at the loudest volume setting – enjoy ME time!!

This is something that I’m struggling with every day post-baby. I miss having time to myself without any restraints.

A simple thing like going to spinning in the morning relies on either my husband being home or the nanny coming in to work on time so that I can leave my baby and go torture myself in the spinning studio. Playing music while cooking – hahaha – that is something I used to do but no longer can because really after putting baby down a couple of times, no one wants to wake her up when she is finally sleeping. And Lord, the day I can have a shower when I want to shower for as long as I want to shower will be the happiest days of my life. Right now, I either shower late at night when her dad gets home from work or put baby in the bouncer, move the bouncer into the bathroom and shower with the door partially open to make sure baby can hear/see me at all times so she doesn’t start screaming again. Sigh. The life of a new mum.

There’s no doubt that life changes a lot after baby arrives. I’m still dealing with the changes and clearly have no pearls of wisdom on how to survive them. What I can say is that the day your baby looks up at you and you get a toothless smile (filled with a lot of spit bubbles) is the day when you realise that it was all worth it – the changing body, constant worry, dealing with the never-ending mummy guilt and family judgment was all worth it as you will realise that you are the best mother that this baby has.

And so what if you get this smile while you haven’t brushed your teeth or had a shower? 🙂

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Thanks Simple Girl for sharing your journey frankly, I see so many guest posts that you hinted at in this post and will try and hold you to that!

Sunday Reads

  1. How to read more books this year. I am definitely taking it to heart by reducing my junk TV viewing and making sure I always have a book as I go about various chores.
  2. A reading list on Kenya in case you are interested.
  3. If a story moves you, act on it!
  4. This article on insecurity made me stop and think. Really hard!
  5. Somali nicknames are hilarious 🙂
  6. So many white tears in this article. I see that they have only a given demographic of foreign spouses married to South Africans.
  7. Also, this IS cultural expropriation.
  8. More on how couples deal with finances.
  9. I didn’t know there were Nigerian Jews in Johannesburg. Today’s fact!!
  10. What does it mean to be a boy or girl? National Geographic asks 9/10 year old kids.
  11. Stealing from one of the comments, “This is by far the best article I’ve read regarding LBGT and the gospel.”
  12. Chocolate cake and another vegetarian pasta recipe.

Let’s talk money

I read this interesting NYT article on seven essential money questions that start a conversation and thought it might be interesting to try and answer.

What lessons about money did you learn from your parents?

  • Always save and live within your means.
  • Never loan money to a friend unless you don’t mind losing the friendship.
  • Tithe.

What does the word “money” conjure up for you?

Freedom. Options. A nest egg.Independence.

How many children would you like to have when you retire?

Two.

How do you think your children feel about that?

N/A

Tell me about your financial situation when you first met.

We were both students, working part-time through school for pocket money.

What are the most important things in your life?

God (faith/church), Family, Education/ Career.

What does the prospect of retirement look like to you?

Leisure/ comfort, time to pursue other interests, financial independence.

Sunday Reads

  1. Loving these sets of articles about women, women and ambition and the work place.
  2. Thinking of doing this for someone I love.
  3. Something about this video made me so homesick for Nairobi.
  4. Some tips for all the new moms out there.
  5. Love that this guy acknowledges what White Male Privilege has meant for him and his accomplishments.
  6. Kenya goes to the polls in  August this year. A quick primer of some of the issues.
  7. Some great African books to look forward to this year.
  8. Somehow not a fan of all these baby products that work on selling fear to parents.
  9. Some more Obama stuff.
  10. We cannot run from God’s voice, where is He calling you to today?
  11. An effective way to incorporate prayer into your life.
  12. yummy fish recipe.
  13. Getting kids to [always] eat veggies.

Sunday Reads

  1. This article on that tragic election.
  2. This lady trying to make sense of that election (1,000 comments but good).
  3. An education on the for-profit education sector in Kenya and Uganda.
  4. Extra-judicial killings in Kenya. HEARTBREAK!!
  5. Undertaking a life audit/ preparing for your 2017 New Years’ Resolutions.
  6. Why it is important for adults to give back in their community.
  7. I am definitely a sampler. I used to be a compartmentalizer before I got married and had to force diverse groups of friends to meet 😦
  8. Simple items that you can turn into a gift by framing them.
  9. Yummy vegetarian meals.
  10. Debunking the myth of a biological clock.
  11. Who are the middle class in Nigeria? PS: This is not a direct economic answer.
 

Sunday Reads

  1. Women, language, rites of passage and the khanga.
  2. Cobalt mining and the lost lives in The DR Congo.
  3. Rhino poaching in South Africa.
  4. Attitudes to marriage in certain communities.
  5. Nairobi’s art and culture scene.
  6. Pssst! Africans also migrate within the continent.
  7. SERENA. WILLIAMS. SWOON!!!
A reporter asked Williams whether she should be considered one of the greatest female athletes of all time. Her perfect response: “I prefer the words ‘one of the greatest athletes of all time.’”
Enjoy!!

Sunday Reads

On women and work

Source

Sunday Reads on Africa

  1. I have read ten of these 50 must-read books by African female writers.
  2. Exclusive Books publish their first newsletter focused on African Lit. Great start.
  3. A South African church in pictures.
  4. Hot jams to get you ready for the week ahead!
  5. Beyonce’s style of feminism is not my own.” Chimamanda Adichie.
  6. I would venture a guess that most black women have this growing up with black hair story.
  7. On intersectionality. Yaa Gyasi’s essay on what it means to be Ghanaian in America.
  8. Pettinah Gappah’s recent short story.
  9. Love and Johannesburg. The couple reminds me of the Mr and I.
  10. 21 gifts for the creative black woman in your life.
  11. A guide to Africa’s dictators. Here and Here.
  12. Rachel Strohm highlights work by the team at Democracy in Africa in putting together a long reading list of articles on African issues by African scholars.
  13. This page showing Everyday Africa.
  14. But why is my leader like this? Not sure we need mandarin studies in Uganda just yet.

(Long) Sunday Reads

  1. Great marriage lesson about talking honestly of our growing up experiences
  2. Clothes, beauty and Africa (NY Times)
  3. Uganda’s fastest and cheapest street food: Rolex. Do yourself a favour and google how the typical Ugandan pronounces it 🙂
  4. …. and then a brief history of Vietnam’s street food, the Banh  mi.
  5. School lunches in Japan.
  6. So much good in this story.
  7. Relationship goals. Yes!!
  8. I love mussels and this seems so simple to make at home.
  9. I sometimes feel this way about my accomplishments. Yeah!
  10. I WANNA host an ice cream social too.
  11. Because Lagos loves to party.
  12. Bringing up kids in this day and age is not for the faint hearted.
  13. Giving birth in Guinea is not child’s play.
  14. We must watch Hidden Figures. Very important story to tell!!
  15. Yummy (no egg) ice cream recipe.
  16. This is my plan for September – need to get a proposal out.
  17. I had a similar meal recently at a restaurant, YUMMY cauliflower.
  18. Some more productivity hacks.
  19. This letter. So true and poignant!

Sunday Reads

  1. Baaagh! shaving season is upon us.
  2. My oldest nephew is headed to teenage-hood. Freak out!!
  3. But why is our leader like this?
  4. Definitely baking this lemon and thyme cake this weekend.
  5. I love the idea of helping women over 40 get back into work.
  6. Marriage is often about managing details. FACT.
  7. Recommended baby shower gifts.
  8. The Real Housekids imitate the Real Housewives of Atlanta.Hopefully, they get round to imitating all the series of this show.
  9. Funny mom emoji’s.
  10. I liked Tsitsi Dangaremba and this was an interesting read.

Blogaversary

According to WordPress, today is NINE YEARS since I started blogging. What? Where has time gone?

This here little blog really means so much to me and gives me an outlet to share about myself and some of my interests and I am grateful for this opportunity and for many of you guys that read, comment, like and follow.

Thanks and here’s to many more!!

Sunday Reads

  1. A creative activity from something we all use weekly.
  2. Sometimes we are loneliest in the midst of other people.
  3. Funny but so true how we always Google an illness and walk away with the worst possible diagnosis.
  4. Very emotional read about the alternates at the Olympics – it takes such depth of character to keep going when you are so close but not quite there.
  5. How (un)romantic to talk of love and microbes.
  6. Obama’s Summer 2016 Playlist, I think I have deciphered the code message behind it.
  7. Lovely story about this dad that tried to get his daughter out of an arranged marriage.
  8. BUT, Joburg has some cool places
  9. I am astounded by the desperate measures people will take to get to a “better life. Long, but worth the read.

Thoughts on being a worshipper

During my BSF break, I have been going through the Purpose Drive Life book. I had read it some years back and following the study on Revelation, I thought this would be a great way to meditate on those specific lessons. I have finished the first purpose, created for his pleasure and wanted to summarise some of my thoughts so far.

  1. Because God delights in us, He created us (me). Worship is how we reflect our delight and pleasure back to Him.
  2. Anything, from the mundane to the extraordinary, can be done as unto God and therefore qualifies as worship.
  3. Delayed and partial obedience is disobedience. Understanding can wait, obedience cannot. Obedience to God precedes understanding.
  4. Worship is steeped in a total surrender to and trust in God. Here I am reminded of the 24 elders in Rev 4:10 who before the throne of Christ. “fell down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne” declaring His uttermost worthiness of all glory and honour. Their crowns were their most precious things and before the throne, they laid that down before God.
  5. Nothing is more powerful than a surrendered life in the hands of God! Surrender is counter culture and against our very personalities.
  6. True worship is steeped in understanding who God is. And here I am reminded of this famous line: “when we see Him as He is, we will worship Him as we ought”. Often we (me included) talk of worshiping a particular type of God i.e. I cannot believe that a loving God would do … and if He would, then I cannot worship Him. This makes the construct of God something that either you or I could fully grasp. God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours and the only we can understand that/Him is via constant prayer and meditation on His word.
  7. God calls for true worshipers in spirit and truth (John 4:24). True worship is authentic. Authentic in that it is centred on a true understanding of God and His character and is true to my unique character. I have come to understand that I worship best in a very structured and almost ritualistic environment and therefore things like an Anglican service really appeal to me.
  8. Sometimes, we feel like God is distant. We still have to worship. But how? (i) we can honestly share with God that we do not feel Him or His presence. We can trust God with our emotions. All of them, the pleasant and the not so great. (ii) Focus on God and His true character. Continue to pray and give thanks ceaselessly. (iii) Reflect on God’s past faithfulness. God has already met our utmost need through sending His son to die on the cross for us. Our biggest need is our salvation and reconciliation to God. This has already been met, we only need to believe.
  9. There are also some barriers to great worship. The biggest one is me and my perception of how I need to worship. In addition, is fear, lack of trust and pride.
  10. Finally, I leave you with a few verses to meditate on regarding worship: Philippians 3:20, Romans 12:1-2, Hebrew 12:28 and 2 Corinthians 5:9.

Sunday Reads

  1. These tips on how to give a good toast should be mandatory read. The number of wedding toasts I have heard and cringed.
  2. Free versus structured play. I am all for free play.
  3. Interesting study on why women share photos of their kids on social media.
  4. Apparently more people are using video to inform family and friends alike that they are having a baba! (NYT article).
  5. 10 ways to reduce your wedding budget.
  6. Yes kids get sick at daycare, but they also get sick less often later. This study proves and my mom always said. (NYT article)
  7. Such a sad story but so beautifully and heart-warmingly portrayed.
  8. So much cuteness in these pictures.
  9. On the messaging that we s(sub) consciously send to our daughters.
  10. Spicy carrot cumin and coconut soup.

Men have been denied so many safe spaces where they can be men and vulnerable
Guys like us, it turns out, are hungry for a place to talk with other men, particularly about how fatherhood is changing us, and changing writ large. Just as literature has long helped people see that our seemingly personal struggles are universal, being able to talk in this group offers a similar revelation. In an age of near-constant superficial virtual connection, there’s an enormous benefit in having a real life community to confide in more deeply and provide a genuine social network — especially for men and young fathers so often without it.

(Please also read the comments)