Our Love Is ..

I remember these cartoons from way back and how they made me feel. Like love was the most grown up thing I could think of because it was so out of my reach at the time. So each day I would look at them in the newspaper and imagine this thing called love and so here are a few things that demonstrate our love.

Our love is just us and these cartoons can’t even express but they try …

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How Old Do You Feel?

So while in truth I am 32 years, I hardly ever feel that way. I suppose in so many ways I have age dissonance in that, that’s the number I put down but hardly do I look at myself and think, there she is that 32 year old, nah, nope, never. So how old do I feel? Well, I have three secret inner ages.

12

At this age, I fell in love with Nairobi. I was also deemed old enough to commute to the Library and church and back home unaccompanied. I also loved taking matatus (public service vehicles) and would delight in selecting the hottest one with the best music or the coolest people. I enjoyed feeling like a grown up even in this really small way.

16

At this age, I felt grown. School got tough but I managed to draw on my inner strength and focus. By this point I had chosen subjects that would pretty much determine what I studied at University and essentially my career. Now I know many people didn’t take it that seriously but I certainly did and saw each of those decisions as a major cog in the life wheel. I also remember the clarity I felt around these decisions, I was so bold and didn’t even for a second second guess myself or my abilities.

21

I literally felt like I was on top of the world. I had completed my undergrad and felt like the world was my oyster. I jokingly say, I should have rewarded myself with motherhood because thought I was single, this was the only time I felt the need to bear an heiress 🙂 But I felt young enough to be optimistic and experienced enough to have something under my belt.

In truth though, we have friends who have one or two kids, some who are divorced, others have faced miscarriages – all things that I think of as being done by big people. We have gotten married, changed jobs, moved cities and all that but somehow that’s another person not me. Do you sometimes feel that way or is your life aligned to your actual age?

 

 

 

 

My City is Better than Yours

When I moved to Cape Town, I did not expect to like, or GASP love it, as much as I did Johannesburg. Two years on, I feel like I am cheating on my first love but here goes a list of things I love about the city.

• Franschhoek and the annual literary festival
• The Book Lounge
• The Mountain View
• Camps Bay – I don’t do this often because it gets touristy and it’s a big contrast to the daily inequality but occasionally, I do note its’ beauty and appreciate that.
• Wine Farms
• Unstuffy Markets – Mojo Market, Old Biscuit Mill and Oranjezicht. For some reason in Joburg, peeople need to dress up and then get to markets and look like they just walk up like that, URGGGH!!
• An Evening BSF Class
• The Promenade
• Being able to walk around to most places
• A main street that means not having to get into a mall unless you want to, Yay!!!
• Off-street Parking
• Kalk Bay
• A gorgeous CBD
• Love the pace of drivers and their general chill
• It’s a very outdoors and family-oriented place

Faith Lessons so Far

So far in BSF we have done Romans chapter 1 to 3 and if I could summarise my thoughts, it would be:

1. God’s gospel has transforming power and we should not be ashamed to proclaim it widely (Romans 1:16)
2. God’s wrath is now being revealed – meaning, right now, right this moment but also one that great final day, it will be revealed against those who have not believed in Christ (Romans 1: 18 – 32)
3. Not one of us is righteous. None of us can stand on our own and claim that we are not guilty of sin. None of us, not even one of us (Romans 2:10 – 11).
4. The good news, no the great news is that we are justified by faith apart from the works of the Law and this applies to all, Jew and Gentile alike. We are free from the penalty of sin which is death and free to claim eternal life if we only believe.

Will you believe? And if you have believed, will you persevere in your Christian walk?

Three Recent Experiences

1. I recently went to the Zeitz Mocaa and had my breath blown away, it’s a lovely experience and has quickly become one of the top things to do in Cape Town.
2. A pal celebrated his birthday and we went to the Reverie Social Table. Had such a great time while there that I immediately begun to plan the return visit. Do check it out. Below was the first fish course. 
3. Went with the Mr for our first spa day and we enjoyed it so much, we promised ourselves to do it often enough. Afterwards, we had a nice health lunch.

 

Characteristics that I value in others

• Curiosity about one self, people, life or other.
• A passion for life. You have to have that thing that drives you.
• Ability to laugh at one self and others but not in a mean girl way. 
• Loyalty.
• Not being clingy / able to chill with yourself and do stuff on your own.
• Ambition or wanting to better yourself.
• Being comfortable in your own skin and trusting that people walk through life in different lanes and being OK with yours.
• A love for simple things. Yes big luxurious things are great to have, but someone that you can enjoy the small everyday things with is even better.
• A fear of God, I don’t know any atheists/ agnostics because I feel it is important to have a fear of God, an external standard that guides you and reigns in your own inner and crazy self.

What about you, what qualities do you look for in other people?

 

Sunday Reads

• The biases that women face in Economics.
• Motherhood makes women better workers.
• This podcast on how these communities in Tanzania deal with the taboo around first periods.
• Great empirical evaluation of the assertion that foreigners in SA take jobs from locals.
• Love this article on boundaries within marriage – for example I don’t share nail cutters with the hubs.
• I think, sorry I know, I love Gordon Ramsay.
• I have tried to get my sisters to call me llama llama.
• Yes, hospitality is broader than entertaining.
• My sister has us on a plant-based diet so I wanna try and make this cake or this one.
• I have the urge to make this for the hubs.
• This eggplant dip looks yum.
• Getting the most from your food processor.

A Thought for this Monday Morning

⁸ The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Source)

Psalms 103: 12  reminds us that God forgives fully and removes our sins from us as far as the East is from the West. This truth came up recently when I  met a friend to discuss the bible studies that we had both done separately over the BSF break, her Hebrews and me, James.

A theme that separately came up for each of us is belief and how it is also possible for us as believers not to take God at His word and put in caveats that are not there OR that limit our overall ability to enjoy the time spent with Him. And this way, practice unbelief. In my specific case, this came through in the area of prayers. For others in my life, I am able to pray big prayers and believe on their behalf that God is who He says He is and that He can do what He said He will but somehow somehow in my case my faith is muted and I doubt that He will do what He said He can. So my pal rightly asked me: “what’s that about?” And in that moment, I was reminded of the verse that exhorts fathers not to provoke their children to anger by how they treat them (Ephesians 6: 4 NLT).

We often approach God based on our earthly experiences rather than step out of those and experience Him as the eternal Father who loves perfectly. Who has been perfectly revealed through His son Jesus Christ (Heb 1:3) and His living word (the Bible).

This contrasts with the devil who speaks from both sides of his mouth. On the one hand he is the father of all lies (John 8:44) and in the other, the accuser of brethren (Revelation 12:10). However, we also know that Jesus has fully overcome the world on our behalf and though we will have trouble we should take heart and have peace (John 16:33). This means that I can overcome this burden of shame and this fear of intimacy with Christ due to past sin by entrusting my all to Him and believing fully in Him. Additionally, I know that Revelation 12:11 talks of overcoming the accuser through the words of our testimony. By what we declare and what we state can we be renewed and overcome his lies about us, God’s children.

Questions to Ponder

1. In what ways do you struggle to take God fully at His word?
2. What are some of your personal life experiences that hinder the development of a childlike faith in God the Father?
3. How will knowing this truth of Christ now impact how you approach Him in faith?

Prayer

Lord we thank you that you are eternal yet unchanging, that your word is true and that you can swear by none but yourself which further encourages our faith in you. Forgive me where I have doubted your word in how I have acted, thought or spoken. Help me always to trust in you ( in the following specific areas of my life ) and believe even when my old self wants to doubt. Teach me how to hold onto my faith unswerving and this way to bring glory and honour to you. I thank you that you are a good Father who gives good gifts to His children and who forgives us fully and does not hold our past sins against us.

Sunday Reads

• After the Kenyan election, this was the article that made the most sense to me.​​
• As the India-Pakistan partition approaches its’ 70 year marks, I have listened to so many different documentaries and so I enjoyed this intersection with food.
• Books on race for white folks.
• So Algerians believe that black Africans are all diseased. Sigh, Yawn, Buff …
• A wide variety of articles on Bachelorette Rachel’s journey as the first black Bachelorette.
• God’s work of creation is amazing.
• Jesus was very patient with sexual sinners, but he was very hard on hypocrites. You can’t follow Jesus while pretending you don’t really need him.
• Men also need opportunities to share intimate friendships with each other.
• Yep, I am friends with my childhood best friends, are you?
• Very rarely do we see older ladies on blogs. Love this!!
• Beginning your wellness journey.
• Science answers we need: How long do we dunk an oreo for?
• Top 10 African Fiction, I am pretty sure this list will change by the end of the year so enjoy for now
• Because three year anniversaries ask for leather gifts.
• I agree that Home = Tea.

Recipes

• I WILL bake this cake
• … and maybe present it like this.
• Vegan pancakes.
• Cooking with coconut

My Positive Trait

The tenth prompt from this list asked me to talk of something about myself I like.

Just this week I was reminded that a compliment I often get from those dear and near is that I am a great encourager. I listen patiently and help people to see themselves in a more positive light, I offer solutions to problems and offer to assist with heavy burdens. I am good at strengthening people and getting them to see as strengths setbacks while pushing them upwards and forwards. I hope I never forget this or hold myself back when those in my presence need to be uplifted.

What’s a compliment you often receive?

Dear Future Daughter

I generally hate letters written to future whatevers but today being Women’s Day in South Africa and because I just watched an advert of ladies giving advice to a younger self, I thought I would give it a try.

1. Stand tall and work on fostering positive self (body) image. There is so much advise to women today about how they ought to look/ weigh/ what they need to do and this piles on the pressure. Filter out all of these and work with your body type, your likes and bring out the best in yourself.
2. Work hard at school. Push yourself  extremely hard and do not dim your light so any guy around you can feel better about himself. Keep learning and challenging yourself to greater and better heights.
3. Surround yourself with female friends that push you to your best and that you can do life with. Female  friends rock! FACT. We are not all in competition with each other (female) and do not all like to gossip and bring down a fellow sister. Work on being a good  friend.
4. What makes you tick and brings out your inner feminine self? Don’t worry it varies from one lady to the next, find what works for you and foster that. If you wanna be like mummy, I love to read and to get my hair done.
5. Work on your relationship with God. That’s the most important  and constant relationship you will ever have.

Overall, be confident. There is nothing as attractive as a woman who is confident in her skin and who draws out the best in the different people she encounters in her day to day life.

All the best!!

Three Positive Images for Monday

Let's? . . .#sisterhood #power #together #stronger #quote #avaduvernay #sticktogether #goals #recipesforselflove #selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #smashthepatriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #feminism #femme #intersectionalfeminist #feminsta #feminist #zine #illustration #digital #drawing #graphic #art #womxn #power #magic #beautiful #love #yourself

A post shared by Recipes For Self Love (@recipesforselflove) on Jul 16, 2017 at 7:25am PDT

Sometimes in life you need to put yourself first, you need to think about what's best for you and pursue it. . . #selflove #selfcare #investinyourself #believeinyourself #youreworthit #putyourselffirst #hijab #intersectionalfeminism #feminism #feminist #zine #illustration

A post shared by Recipes For Self Love (@recipesforselflove) on Jun 4, 2017 at 12:23am PDT

In the current socio-economic/political climate, many friendships become hard to sustain. Often the reason is what some people see as 'differences of opinion' but when someone's 'opinion' denies your rights, this person is not your friend. #selfcare #selflove #opnionsmatter #intersectionalfeminism #feminism #feminist #zine #alicewalker #quote #illustration

A post shared by Recipes For Self Love (@recipesforselflove) on Apr 28, 2017 at 11:47pm PDT

Beware the tongue

I have been studying James over the last couple of  weeks and one of the themes he speaks repeatedly of are the words of your mouth. In fact, he specifically states that “perfect” is the man who is able to bridle his tongue. This has got me thinking of how I can restrain myself from saying certain things and therefore prevent myself from falling into unnecessary sin.

This morning I read this blog post cautioning against using secular language rather than speaking the words of truth that many in the world today need to hear about. This article brought to mind another area of the tongue that could lead us to fall into sin – the hollow words we speak of that while well meaning do not really mean a thing or profess the hope we have in Christ.

This article got me thinking of the number of times I have said rather vaguely “All the best”, “Good Luck”, “Best Wishes” or “I will think of you” rather than I will pray about this to Jesus and ask that His will be done. How many times have I heard of people talking of an energy/ the forces out there and not called it out and asked them to rather refer directly to Jesus – and this is true also of Christians and non-Christians.

So from the post, this is the challenge that I would like to leave you with.

I would like to challenge you, as a believer in Christ, to evaluate the phrases and hashtags you throw out to a world desperate for hope. It may seem harmless enough, but the vibes you’re alluding to are vacuous. Our friends aren’t strong enough on their own to “keep their heads up” and “pull through” life’s challenges, like vain platitudes suggest. No, they were made to find their strength in the God who made them. Theology matters. It doesn’t take long for someone to see the way we deal with the circumstances in our lives. We either have confidence in God or confidence in the flesh.

 

 

Words we Need

shelf friend

When you become an option. You are not first pick of friends. When your friend starts dating someone and you are put up on a shelf until they have no other people to hang with.

I sometimes feel this way with a close group of female friends and so when I saw this word on Urban Dictionary, it totally made sense.

As I also have friends who I treat like this, the lesson was more about making sure that I do better with these people in my life Incidentally, I also read a post yesterday about increasing your social network and yesterday as I left for home,I bumped into a friend of a friend I had met a couple of weeks back and it turned out that she lives a few streets from me so we drove home together.

Lesson to self? Be more open minded and look for ways to get out of my comfort and involve people that would typically be on the fringes or in this case, who would be classified as shelf friends.

Sunday Reads

• A guide to eating out in Cape Town.
• Black hair done beautifully.
• I would love this app when I become a mom.
• Oh dear,these two conversations, one and two.
• Please note the following before heading to Kampala.
• For book clubs that also like to pop bottles here’s a guide.
• I might have found out this year that poppy in poppy seeds is the same poppy in heroine.
• Books by Christian authors of colour.
• How death inspires us to live.
• How to get out of the season when you do not feel like reading your Bible.
• On practising hospitality.
• Some more on hospitality.
• This essay on the interplay between widowhood and food touched me so deeply.
• What makes a piece of chilli hot?

Recipes

• 22 ice cream flavours to try.
• More ice cream.
• Do you want to bake cakes?
• This coffee drink sounds yum.

 

 

Some Economics-related Links

1. Some great mentoring for economists available on this blog.
2. … and a lot more here.
3. An interesting paper explaining why fewer young men are working.
4. I love this retelling of the Brown v. Board landmark ruling.
5. Never knew that multi generational disability is this prevalent.
6. There are some ethical issues for me with this medicine for the wealthy offering.
7. … And even more on healthcare inequality in the rural southern states.
8. I enjoyed this podcast on the state of land and inequality in South Africa.

Sunday Reads

I am in my favourite city, Joburg so enjoy …

• Something about his writing gives one all the feels. Also, the short list for the 2017 Caine Prize with links to the stories available here.
• South African universities forget that fewer foreign students means they cannot meet their budgetary requirements.Ha!
• Interesting article on how women under invest in the labour market to appear more attractive in the marriage market.
• Like this chick, looking forward to her memoir.
• I love this bridal party photo shoot.
• So unlike me but I really want to start a veggie garden. And here is a garden-DIY combo project.
• Emotional health is key.
• In time of suffering we cannot blame God  but we can trust Him.
• Navigating grandparent conflict at the birth of a new baby.
• Raising a feminist son – let him cry, that totally made me stop and think. Summarised here also.
• Also, how we talk to little boys matters.

How can we change this? We can start, says Dr. David, by letting boys experience their emotions, all of them, without judgment — or by offering them solutions. This means helping them learn the crucial lessons that “Emotions aren’t good or bad” and that “their emotions aren’t bigger than they are. They aren’t something to fear. (NYT)

Recipes:

• I love to cook with cardamom
• Home made ice cream and this sorbet
• More ice cream
• I always want to bake bread at home.
• Creamy spinach and chickpeas.

An area of growth

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. James 1:26

With those close to me, I love to talk. But equally, I tend to say things that are undesirable or hurtful and so my desire and prayer is that I would learn to restrain my tongue, being slow to speak and anger and quick to listen (James 1:19) starting today and always by God’s strength.

Courtesy of this journaling prompt.

Sunday Reads

Source

• The terrible plight of women MPs in Kenya during the campaign period.
• .. and my earlier post on this situation here.
• Interested in the decolonisation of education taking place at the African Leadership University in Mauritius? Please also look at the comments, very insightful.
• Africa cannot continue to globalise like this.
• ​Great investigative work on this piece relating how refugees have become a commodity in and of themselves.
• Loved this article about divorce statistics in Kenya.
• So Nigeria has 371 tribes? Wowza
• Second book in my to-read list on contemporary Uganda and what it means to b e Ugandan. The first is the memoir Flame and Song.
• Matrescence: The process of becoming a mother.
• ​Photos are worth a thousand words. More photography.
• Guys, our childhood songs HAD a problem. Stay Woke!
• I have been struggling with negative thoughts recently.
• Some relationship advice for you. And you.
• Oh being asked this question in the fast few months after being married. EEEK!!
• YES to the mental load that women work with. If anyone asked me for marital advice: I would say ask him, make him a real partner even with the housework.

Recipes

• Orange peel tea sangria.
• Thai tea ice cream.
• Cooking with chicken breasts.
• More grilled chicken recipes.

Thursday Music

 

I discovered Lauren Daigle this week and she has quickly become a firm favourite. I am amazed at how she sounds like Adele but different. Here are some favourites to enjoy:

Enjoy

xoxo