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Decor Dreams on a Monday

I love this styling   In the Details


What do I love in this image?

  • The black and white colour scheme.
  • The fact that there is so much under the stairs, but it is not busy.
  • I’m not a huge carpet fan, but this one works so well.

Urgggh, I wish I had a stairwell to try this look.


Transformed by God, for His Purpose

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

We recently read this at BSF and here are a couple of thoughts that I would like to share with you.

  1. Our response in sacrifice, follows God’s mercy to us, former sinners who now believe in Him, receive righteousness. and therefore belong to His family This is the right and reasonable response. Have you consciously made this choice to belong to Christ’s family?
  2. A living sacrifice signifies that it is a voluntary choice, continuous and implies a death to self. All Christians are called to die to self daily, take up their cross and follow Christ.
  3. Something holy is something consecrated and set apart. What we offer to God is different from what we offer to anyone else. This particular thought struck me because we live in a very secular world and I struggled to think of those holy things that I only set aside for God.
  4. The verse speaks of either the pattern of the world or a renewed mind. It is truly binary. God will not be mocked and we cannot fool Him by adding on anything to His word. Off the top of my head, I think of ancestral worship, superstition, witchcraft, modern/ humanistic thoughts. None of that compares to God, it is the world or Christ’s way.
  5. Ultimately,  we all struggle with discerning God’s will. What is God saying, what does he mean, what should I do …? All of this is never easy or obvious but this verse makes clear that it is found by abiding in God’s presence and dwelling in His word, only then  will one know His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Be Blessed!

A few book recommendations from Cajetan Iheka

Love the book recommendation, have read 2/6 of them. Yay!!

Ufahamu Africa

In our last episode with Cajetan Iheka, when we talked about his book Naturalizing Africa, he shared a few book recommendations. In case you missed the titles and authors, here they are listed and linked:

  1. American War by Omar El Akkad is a futuristic novel that looks at America within a second civil war context, in which the south (the Confederacy) is winning.
  2. Homegoing, is a work of fiction set in both Ghana and the United States, written by Yaa Gyasi, a Ghanaian-American author.
  3. Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue is about the Cameroon financial crisis of 2008 and its impact on an American executive and a driver in NYC. 
  4. Slow Violence and the Environmentalism of the Poor is by Rob Nixon.
  5. A Critique of Black Reason is by Achille Mbembe.  
  6. Oil Wealth and Insurgency in Nigeria by Omolade Adunbi was first mentioned by Kim when she…

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(Belated) Sunday Reads


Sunday Reads

“To all the little girls out there,
we will set fire to this world
that steals your childhoods
and stops you from being
everything you want to be,
and build you a better one from the ashes,
the kind of world that treasures you
for all your powerful capabilities.”

– Nikita Gill, Women’s March 2018


15 Best Reads in 2017

I read some really interesting books in 2017.

  • On Black Sisters Street: Chika Unigwe – I read it in the context of the current mass migration tales and I helped me imagine the kind of backstories that some of the migrants are fleeing from.
  • The Woman Next Door: Yewande Omotoso – Great read. As I read it I kept thinking it would make for a great TV mini-series.
  • Rape: Pumla Dineo Gqola– Eye opening. Educative. Informative. Heavy topic, well written.
  • When Breath Becomes Air: Paul Kalanithi – I cried after reading this one. It made me think of legacies and the things that drive me.
  • Small Great Acts: Jodi Piccoult – I love her writing and as usual, there was a deep ethical question to ponder.
  • An Elegy for Easterly: Pettinah Gappah – I am not a big short stories fan but I love the author and the stories did not disappoint. Must admit to the fact that I kept thinking back to these stories during Mugabe’s exit.
  • Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City: Matthew Desmond – I love these kinds of books that delve into one deep topic. It was interesting to also see how eviction has interlinkages with so many other issues: unemployment, poverty, crime, food shortages.
  • The Mothers: Brit Bennett – I enjoyed this read, it was an easy read but raised so many questions for me – especially on the role of faith in our lives.
  • The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Pearce: Jeff Hobbs – Forgetting whether it is the author’s story to tell, this book broke my heart. For anyone that wants to read Hillbilly Elegy, I would rather recommend this one.
  • Stay With Me: Ayobami Adebayo – Loved, loved, loved this one. Definitely recommending it to one and all.
  • Who Will Catch Us As We Fall: Iman Verjee – Great story on Kenya post-2007. Faultless.
  • Lyrics Alley: Leila Aboulela – This book made me dream of visiting Khartoum and The Sudan.
  • Beneath the Lion’s Gaze: Maaza Mengiste – It helped me understand so much about Ethiopia. Definitely a must read.
  • Kintu: Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi – A book from home. I initially thought it would be too ambitious and then under deliver but no, it was a great book to read. Get it.
  • Pachinko: Min Jin Lee – I have a thing for dynastic reads and this delivered exactly what I love: joy, sadness, tears, laughter and triumph.

Sunday Reads


Guest Post: Motherhood: the first 12 months

Show some love today for a regular guest poster here on the blog for Simple Girl blogging over at (Simple Girl Writes) who defines herself as Slightly Neurotic, Cheerful, Blessed, Wants to be a back-up singer in the next lifetime, Sh*t scared of pigeons and chickens, Econometric nerd extraordinaire, Just a simple girl

WhatsApp Image 2018-01-14 at 12.06.06

Mummy and her Little Madam 🙂

Technically my little one is now just over one year  (13 months to be exact) and I honestly can’t believe that I’ve been a mother for a year. WOW – we made it 🙂  (albeit with a lot of bumps and bruises along the way and don’t forget the many, many tears)!

I’ve never really liked children. I know that may be a shocking way to start this blog post but I always thought that I was a better aunt especially to little ones over the age of three. But babies? Yoh, I was not present for the diaper changing, constant burping, bottle feeds and anything else associated with newborn babies. So when I found out that I was going to be a mother, my biggest worry was whether I would genuinely like my child. Of course I would love my child – that goes without saying but I was honestly worried about how I would cope given that I knew nothing about handling babies and whether I would genuinely like the experience.

I was pronounced a mother on 28 November 2016. When I finally got a chance to look at the little human that I had been baking for nine months, all the fears and trepidation I had did not miraculously disappear (contrary to all the lies you are told at the baby shower) – but rather completely enveloped me.

Yes, I was that woman.

I was scared and completely nervous about being a mum over the first four months. I was completely overwhelmed by the responsibility that comes with raising a child. The sleep deprivation and hormones did not help. And let me not start on the struggles faced with breastfeeding. It didn’t help that I also did not receive proper support regarding this and went into it completely blindsided. People take it for granted that every woman will have sufficient (milk )supply and the right technique for baby to latch. Needless to say, I struggled with breastfeeding. We had incorrect latch and minimal supply (a teaspoon worth of milk was produced after pumping for at least an hour). Breastfeeding completely humbled me. I remember hysterically crying after another (well-meaning, I’m sure) relative called to give me a lecture about the benefits of breastfeeding and that regardless of the pain and difficulty I faced that it’s just something I must do if I want to give my child a good first step to a healthy life (yes, those words were actually said). The judgement you face from other women when they hear or see that you aren’t breastfeeding is real 😦 I still haven’t gotten over the guilt over my failure with breastfeeding  – this despite having a happy and healthy little girl. Lol, I actually think I am quite scarred by the experience, especially people’s reaction to my attempts. Baby steps I suppose.

But the past year hasn’t been all gloom and doom. The first time she smiled at me, first time I saw her sitting up on her own, the first time I came home from work and received a massive toothless smile and of course the first time I got a wobbly hug after someone took her first steps were literally the best moments I’ve had in a while. Those were the days I honestly felt like a mother and realised that this little person knows that too.

What I have learnt over the past year is that it’s ok to not be in control of everything and to ask for (and accept) help. Once I learnt to let a few things go, motherhood was not as scary anymore and I was able to enjoy being a mother. I luckily went through this emotional roller coaster with probably the most understanding partner I could ever have asked for. This coupled with the support from the grannies and aunties also helped (especially when all the nanny drama started – that’s a story for another day).

But honestly, I think motherhood (especially with your first child) is made to appear all shiny and sparkly and perfect (like floating in a field full of candyfloss perfect). And in my experience, I was rather running through a field of thorn trees 😦 Yes – It does get easier and becomes quite enjoyable but it’s not always easy to start off with. I just wish someone had told me that so that maybe I could have prepared myself a little bit more for it.

When I think of motherhood now, I’ve learnt to be kind and patient (nothing like a few weeks with minimal sleep to test your patience). That Googling if the colour of baby poo is normal at odd hours of the morning is ok. I also know that I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. Importantly, I’ve learnt to humble myself and to be willing to do just about anything  (including crawl on the floor if I have to)  to get that amazing laugh (now with eight whole teeth!) from the little madam.

I’m constantly amazed by my child at her sheer resilience to reach all of her developmental milestones (regardless of the many bumps, tears and falls on the way). I’ve also fallen completely in love with my husband again and again while watching him interact with his child – their bond is love in its purest form, it is beautiful to watch. So here’s to the first year of being a mother – it hasn’t been rosy and perfect but hey, aren’t those imperfections what makes for an interesting ride?

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The Little Madam Herself …

Thanks Mama, please check out her past posts here and here.

Thanks so much for this post, I already shared with you how much it means to me that I can guilt/bully/ ask this of you and know that I can depend on you to be honest and vulnerable with me. It is much appreciated. As someone that has witnessed you come into your own as a mother and wife, I am so delighted to witness this growth and wish you and your family many more joyful and blessed days ahead.

Sunday Reads

This definition of her: to go from her father to her husband, to be pretty, docile – a man made tragedy. Her soul was made of larger, more powerful things, things that create or desecrate armies and galaxies. This is why when she loves she changes kingdoms, and when she hates she destroys legacies.  Nikita Gill, Jasmine, A Princess That Belonged To Herself First


Sunday Reads



2017 in Posts

*this list is based on views

  1. Having a baby, what would you like to do before baby arrives?
  2. The status of rape in South Africa
  3. Thoughts on Upile Chisala’s book.
  4. Poems for my daughter(s)
  5. Happy Anniversary love 🙂
  6. A conversation with my oldest nephew
  7. Expectations and Marriage
  8. Lessons from the book of John
  9. Wh!at do you cook for guests?
  10. How I love thee!!

Sunday Reads

Fill your life with women that empower you, that help you believe in your magic and aid them to believe in their own exceptional power and their incredible magic too. Women that believe in each other can survive anything. Women who believe in each other create armies that will win kingdoms and wars. Nikita Gill


Sunday Posts

There’s a crescendo of voices saying, ‘If you don’t do X or Y, you’re doing it wrong,’” Monk says. The result is “a kind of over-preciousness about motherhood. It’s obsessive, and it’s amplified by the Internet and social media.” 

Sunday Reads


Recipe-related Sunday Reads

Tamar Has Filed For Divorce!


Pupil of Love

I guess we all seen this one coming. Tamar Braxton, 40, has filed for divorce from her hubby Vincent Herbert of nine years. The two share one child together.

The younger sister of Toni Braxton and one of the stars of their family reality show The Braxtons filed on Tuesday according to TMZ.

This comes after the talented songstress said she is making her current album, Bluebird of Happiness, her last album to save her marriage. Looks like she decided to drop Hubert instead of her music career after all.

 There are a lot of things that I want to do, and a lot of things that are in the works,” she said. “There’s a lot of things that are going on in my relationship and me being close to this music industry, and whatever I can do to eliminate all of the stress and problems off of my…

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When Your Partner Wants to Have a Baby But You Don’t: The Case of #JeannieMai and Why I Saw Her Divorce Coming

This is a really tough but indicative of the fact that people in marriages change and the best way to deal with it is to change together.

Simone Samuels

Update: Jeannie mentioned this post on her show!

I went out on a date (go me!!) but came home to news more shocking than my love life:

Jeannie Mai is getting a divorce.

Now, I don’t know Jeannie Mai and I’m not her publicist and she has never confided to me the reasons for her breakup (although, hopefully, one day, God willing, she and I will become friends and we’ll be tight like that, because I absolutely love her), but I immediately suspected what had to be one of — if not the major issue — in her marriage that caused this split:

She doesn’t want kids, but her husband, Freddy, does.

About five months ago, I was watching an episode of “The Real” where Jeannie broke down and (once again) shared the biggest difficulty in her marriage (this episode is from May 2017):

While the episode above seems…

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Dinner is Served

While I was on the plant based diet, I totally could not justify eating pasta so this week I have such a craving for pasta and want to cook some later in the week.


Butternut Squash, Walnut and Sage Pasta / @loveandlemons #glutenfree

Serves  2
  • 2 cups cubed butternut squash
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon butter (or vegan butter or more olive oil)
  • 1 small shallot, sliced
  • ¼ cup chopped sage leaves
  • ¼ cup chopped walnuts
  • ½ cup cooked chickpeas
  • 1-2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
  • big squeeze of lemon
  • splash of balsamic vinegar
  • 4-6 oz. spaghetti or linguine (& save some pasta water)
  • a few handfuls of chopped spinach (or kale or chard)
  • ½ cup chopped parsley
  • grated pecorino cheese, optional, to taste
  • salt & pepper
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Roast butternut squash cubes with a little olive oil, salt and pepper for about 20 minutes or until they’re soft and mostly cooked through. Remove from the oven and set aside.
  2. Cook pasta in salty water until al dente and reserve at least 1 cup of the starchy pasta water.
  3. Meanwhile, heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the olive oil and butter, then add the shallot and cook until translucent. Add the chopped sage and cook for another 30 seconds, then add the walnuts, chickpeas, butternut squash cubes, garlic, salt and pepper. Cook until the chickpeas and squash brown a bit (but before the garlic burns).
  4. Add a big squeeze of lemon and a good splash of balsamic and stir.
  5. Add the cooked pasta and spinach. Use tongs to gently toss the pasta with everything in the pan allowing the greens to wilt. Add pasta water to help loosen it (I used about ¼ cup).
  6. Add some grated pecorino at this step if you wish.
  7. Remove from heat, then stir in the chopped parsley.
  8. Taste and adjust seasonings and serve with extra grated cheese.
Make this vegan by skipping the butter (or use vegan butter) and omit cheese. Make this gluten free by using gluten free pasta.

Sunday Reads

“Silence is often a woman-flavoured thing. It is guilty of holding countless women’s names and voices hostage inside of its spine and its ribcage.” Nikita Gill 


Some Recent Pins

More views of the bun ❤️ #teamnatural #teamnatural_#teamnaturalhair#naturalhairstylist#naturalhair#naturalhairsalon#dmvstylist#dmvhairstylist#iamlocd#voiceofhair#loclivin#locs#locstyles#locstylesforwomen#hairbyrelle#teamnaturalhair #naturallyshesdope#locbun

Love the style but I keep thinking of the strain on the hairline and the overall weight.


I love her ear rings and her overall attitude

A ‘Joyful House’ on Geelong’s Outskirts

Such a dreamy bathroom