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Interviewing a 5 year old

tilt shift lens photography of woman wearing red sweater and white skirt while holding a boy wearing white and black crew neck shirt and blue denim short

Photo by Nicholas Githiri on Pexels.com

As I have done with my older nephew, (a, b, c) I recently had the opportunity to ask my 5-year old nephew a couple of questions. Please see his responses below.

What would you rather be, a kangaroo or horse?

Uhm, a cheetah. Then when firmly prodded, he opted to be a horse.

Would you rather have one huge eye or three small eyes?

3 tiny eyes

Would you rather have a pet dinosaur or a robot? 

A robot

What superpower would you love to have?

A time capsule that can activate (seems like a very specific answer, almost like he watched it somewhere) . When I said I want to know what people are thinking, he said, oh so you want to be God? Only God can do that 😦

If you could ask God a question, what would it be?

To give me the superpower I asked for.

What’s your favourite song?

Mary did you know?

What’s something you do not like about your little sister?

That she does not share.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A plumber. So I can fix things.

What do grown ups do?

They take care of kids, wash them, feed them, play with them, bath with them …He then wistfully adds that he wishes he could be grown up so he could do his own thing.

From my previous experience with how my older nephews answers have developed over time, I am so excited to see how Neph II changes over time and then to do this with my niece as well.

 

 

 

 

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Our Fighting Fair Tip

man sitting beside woman

Photo by Joshua McKnight on Pexels.com

Rule One

So when the Mr and I have a misunderstanding and it looks like it might hit the proverbial fan., the party that does not feel as strongly does not escalate it. How?

Recently, we were traveling, I had mapped out the route and knew what station we needed to get off at to board the connecting train when the Mr decides to change the route halfway. So we get off and the map shows we need to walk five streets to catch the train and I lost my gasket. I was so pissed off, 1) we were running late for a flight, 2) where were you when I was staying up the whole night to get the route? To give him credit though, he just kept on the task at hand and did not engage with my anger or my threats to get us a route ASAP.

This works for us and it is not prescriptive but it saves us from saying what we might later regret or descending into a shouting fit with each other.

Rule Two

If someone needs time to cool off, to think or process, we allow it and the other does not pressure them to discuss it at that time. However much time you need to, take it. Often we continue to engage on other matters as normal and either you don’t feel as strongly later or you have had the room to process why you felt so strongly or couldn’t engage.

Rule Three

I know they say not to do this, but it’s OK to sleep angry every so often. Sometimes it’s safer and better that way. Of course this can lead to silent treatment which is not great but eventually gets resolved.

Rule Four

No name-calling. EVER.

What rules do you and your significant live by when it comes to conflict resolution?

 

 

Sunday Reads

Recipes

State of Kenya and Nigeria in Song

Thi is sadly Kenya …

 

… and then this is Nigeria

 

Update: This post on the Nigerian version.

Happy Fathers Day

Recipes

Pins I have loved this week

Last year I challenged myself to live minimally. There were 30 tasks and although I modified some of them to be more realistic for me, it wa...

We all need some help getting rid of clutter around the house and so I loved this list.

The Boroughs, A Creative Hub In Camperdown

I love this one – the blue couch and slowly I am being drawn to indoor (low-maintenance) plants

Daia Afia Jumpsuit

I LOVE THE JUMP SUIT AND YES i AM SHOUTING

Sunday Reads

Recipes

Backburner Friendships

When something is put aside for more important things.

In my twenties and thirties I have learnt that for some of my friends I have made them priorities where I am a back burner friend. The one who gets cancelled on or is on the second group of wedding invites. Equally, I have some back burner friends too 😦

Sunday Reads

Recipes

Happy Mothers Day / Sunday Reads

Cheers to Mom.

Source

Recipes

Sunday Reads

Recipes (Comfort food style)

Woman, we see you!

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Each and every one of you, we see each of you!!

 

Book Review: Always Another Country – Sisonke Msimang

Always Another Country: A Memoir of Exile and Home by [Msimang, Sisonke]
 Buy here

I read this book over the December holidays and was sooo excited, I am not sure what happened and it’s almost four months later that I am here gushing about it. Urgggh!! Please see below my thoughts under the different themes, page numbers are provided in brackets for you to follow.

General

  •  This is a book for us women, refugees, blacks (6) and I totally totally agree.
  • I love that our time in Nairobi overlap – when she returns from Canada. I know all the landmarks she mentions of Nairobi. It felt so good to read a book about a place that I knew and know of so intimately. Double yay!!
  • I thought it was odd that she kept referring to her folks as Mummy and Baba??? So odd coz those are two different languages in my head and I would have gone with either Mummy and Daddy or Mama and Baba.
  • I wondered also why she protects the names of her own kids but not Simon’s eldest two. Not sure what that’s about is it maybe that they are adults and the other two are minors?
  • The things said to them about a male child being preferred to daughters. And how this is often blamed on the mother in a way that gives the husband carte blanche to stray in the name of looking for a son (pp 7 – 27). I know this reality all too well and all I think is Biology lessons are important for all.
  • It’s so subtle but her talking about not participating in the street games and fights as much as the local kids do coz it could turn on you:

“I had to choose how I would distinguish myself and I knew that it had to be safe.”(9)

  • The plight of house girls and domestic workers – all too relatable ( 50).
  • Having read Pumla’s Rape, it resonated with me how she spoke about the incident of being sexually attacked: her response and that of the adults around her (52 -55). Also, in the light of #MeToo, I thought it quite bold that she opened up about this incident.
  • The urgency for them to receive their citizenship. Yeah, I get that (67 – 68).
  • I remember the following events but was probably too young to consider their true impact on history: Chris Hani, Mandelas release, the IFP-sponsored murders and the election.

Growing up Foreign

  • Being called an African monkey. While that did not happen to me, I know about being called a refugee almost as though it was a dirty swear word.
  • And the rules that their mom had them follow because growing up in another country with parents working full time, there is not a big social infrastructure to support the parents. So rules are key or in young people speak, rules are bae.

“… the immigrant child knows that outside is one thing but home is another country.” (83)

“The immigrant child knows that the key to survival is in the inflection points. … The key to survival is in blending in first, in learning how to be just like else as a first step to freedom. You have to know how the inside works before you can stand outside and make everybody laugh.” (90)

“The immigrant child doesn’t make any noise. … She is preparing for the day when she will have mastered the art of being normal so that she can stand out.” (90)

Sisterhood

  • How she always talks of her sisters, so beautiful and in some way the story is as much about them as it is her. Yay sisterhood.

Race

  •  I understand when she talks of her discovery of her race in the States. The same thing happened to me in RSA.
  • Being foreign in South Africa has shown me that White ones are still preferred to Black ones. Sad but fact!

Moms: 

  • On discovering that your mom is not just a role – mom, wife, friend, daughter – but actually a woman with dreams, feelings and thoughts quite apart from me even. GASP, SHOCKING.
  • How their mom almost became like an older fourth sister but their dad remained a dad. I find this to be the truth with us too.

“To know your mother as an adult is to finally see that she has lived many more years as a woman than you have been alive. To be a grown woman who loves her mother is to understand that it is no easy thing to raise children so beautifully that they don’t worry about you until they are grown up and ready to carry the complex burden of that anxiety.” (304)

  • Class: I enjoyed reading about her relationship with her nanny especially when they were both pregnant. I thought it was the most honest tale by a middle class Black woman that I could totally relate to.

So please go out, buy the book read, it, share it and enjoy it.

Now, to make friends with her in real life?

Sunday Reads

 

Some Light for the Day

For some reason I have been thinking of these verses over the past couple of days and wanted to share them with you:

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died,and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. (Colossians 3: 2- 4)

  • Our lives are hidden in Christ, who is over and above all things. He reigns supreme and our lives are hidden in Him!!
  • Sometimes I get so caught up in petty things and take my eyes off the things of eternal importance. Help me Lord to focus on you and kingdom business, not the petty here and now.
  • We have eternal assurance of our salvation, when Christ comes, we shall be caught up with him and all the things of this earth will be written away. I so long for this day and want to pray for you friend that whatever your struggle or uncertainty that you will lift up your eyes and look to Him who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than all you think or imagine.

Strength and light!!

 

 

I so need one of these random gift registries

Registries That Should Exist

What else would you add?

 

Belated Sunday Reads

Where are you going. You cannot leave with so many pieces of me still inside you. How will I ever put myself back together again.

Nikita Gill

Recipes

Decor Dreams on a Monday

I love this styling   In the Details

Source

What do I love in this image?

  • The black and white colour scheme.
  • The fact that there is so much under the stairs, but it is not busy.
  • I’m not a huge carpet fan, but this one works so well.

Urgggh, I wish I had a stairwell to try this look.

Transformed by God, for His Purpose

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

We recently read this at BSF and here are a couple of thoughts that I would like to share with you.

  1. Our response in sacrifice, follows God’s mercy to us, former sinners who now believe in Him, receive righteousness. and therefore belong to His family This is the right and reasonable response. Have you consciously made this choice to belong to Christ’s family?
  2. A living sacrifice signifies that it is a voluntary choice, continuous and implies a death to self. All Christians are called to die to self daily, take up their cross and follow Christ.
  3. Something holy is something consecrated and set apart. What we offer to God is different from what we offer to anyone else. This particular thought struck me because we live in a very secular world and I struggled to think of those holy things that I only set aside for God.
  4. The verse speaks of either the pattern of the world or a renewed mind. It is truly binary. God will not be mocked and we cannot fool Him by adding on anything to His word. Off the top of my head, I think of ancestral worship, superstition, witchcraft, modern/ humanistic thoughts. None of that compares to God, it is the world or Christ’s way.
  5. Ultimately,  we all struggle with discerning God’s will. What is God saying, what does he mean, what should I do …? All of this is never easy or obvious but this verse makes clear that it is found by abiding in God’s presence and dwelling in His word, only then  will one know His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Be Blessed!

A few book recommendations from Cajetan Iheka

Love the book recommendation, have read 2/6 of them. Yay!!

Ufahamu Africa

In our last episode with Cajetan Iheka, when we talked about his book Naturalizing Africa, he shared a few book recommendations. In case you missed the titles and authors, here they are listed and linked:

  1. American War by Omar El Akkad is a futuristic novel that looks at America within a second civil war context, in which the south (the Confederacy) is winning.
  2. Homegoing, is a work of fiction set in both Ghana and the United States, written by Yaa Gyasi, a Ghanaian-American author.
  3. Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue is about the Cameroon financial crisis of 2008 and its impact on an American executive and a driver in NYC. 
  4. Slow Violence and the Environmentalism of the Poor is by Rob Nixon.
  5. A Critique of Black Reason is by Achille Mbembe.  
  6. Oil Wealth and Insurgency in Nigeria by Omolade Adunbi was first mentioned by Kim when she…

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