Breaking up with a friend

So I AM VERY loyal in a friendship but will once in a while call things to a head when  they are just not working between a friend and I. So this is how I go about that whole process.

1. Take time and think through the entire life of the friendship, the good, the bad and the ugly. Grieve even if you need to.
2. Be honest about the issues that did not make you happy and why you can’t be in the friendship anymore.
3. Decide if you want to ghost the friend or if you want to speak to them about it. My key determinant is always: is there a chance that you might make up later or is this the end of the friendship?
4. If I am going to say something, I always email the friend because it gives them room to process without the added pressure of having to think or say something in response.
5. If, and as it often happens, they are part of a bigger friendship group then I force myself to be mature enough that not everyone will feel as I do and that their friendship with others need not end because of me. However, I make it clear that my stuff will not and should not be shared with the ex-pal.

Have you ever ended a friendship? How did you do it and did you and the pal make up?

Advertisements

Sunday Reads

• Food is a way of travelling for instance to Laos.
• I love this cute love story of how they met ❤
• I am doing a Whole 30 in June with a pal. Looking forward. Some meal inspirations here and here.
• Some ways to teach your kids about money.
• We are all guilty of e-bailing at some point or another.
• Maybe a bad feminist call but this article about female priests in the Catholic church pissed me off some.
•  I rather enjoyed this article about whether you are your moms favourite kid.
• Clean daily to help you stay on top of your household needs.

Recipes

• I am making this dhal for next week’s dinner, yum, with some chapati.
• Stuffed peppers.
• 15 taco recipes.
• Yummy froyo recipees

(Belated) Sunday Reads

• Learning to pray – we all need some tips at time.
• Such a weird YouTube phenomenon: watching people eat food.
• I really enjoyed this read about sexual purity being less about waiting than actually being pure because of who God is in our lives.
• Questions we ask new moms but not new dads.
• I love this lady’s style – it is so me.
• Eeeuw, commuting in Tokyo is gross.
• Great short story recommendations.
• What the different clothes at the Premier of Black Panther mean.
• Deface: losing a friend on Facebook.
• Contact Shame: When you watch or see something so embarrassing that you feel embarrassed; feels like you had something to do with it.

Recipes

• Lemon, Blackberry, and Poppy Seed Ice Cream
• A spicy pasta dish 
• Yummy chocolate cake

Sunday Reads

• HRC was right about how white straight and married women cost her the vote.
• How marriage engenders privilege.
• Yes to the suggestion for “OPW,Where are they Now?’
• These recommendations of books about coming to America are great, but Behold the Dreamers trumps them all.
• Rare that I recommend a short story, but this was a nice one I recently read.
• I love seeing what people pack for lunch and wish this curiosity could also fall upon me.
• Quick make-ahead dinner recipes.
• Spring salads to try.

Internaive

The state of ignorance towards popular internet memes; the description of a person who does not recognise 90% of internet jokes. origins: internet + naive

 

Words we Need

shelf friend

When you become an option. You are not first pick of friends. When your friend starts dating someone and you are put up on a shelf until they have no other people to hang with.

I sometimes feel this way with a close group of female friends and so when I saw this word on Urban Dictionary, it totally made sense.

As I also have friends who I treat like this, the lesson was more about making sure that I do better with these people in my life Incidentally, I also read a post yesterday about increasing your social network and yesterday as I left for home,I bumped into a friend of a friend I had met a couple of weeks back and it turned out that she lives a few streets from me so we drove home together.

Lesson to self? Be more open minded and look for ways to get out of my comfort and involve people that would typically be on the fringes or in this case, who would be classified as shelf friends.

Trumpence

Thanks Urban Dictionary for this.

1. The slow feeling of regret after realization that a decision was a huge mistake.
2. The punishment or fate a society deserves to receive.

The American people received their trumpence when they decided hate and ignorance was more affective and important than love and understanding.

Words we Need

All these words are from Urban Dictionary. Yuje disclaimer is that there are some very sexualised and irreligious terms there so tread with care!

• Stall Sniffle

The noise someone makes when they want to let you know they are in a bathroom stall

• mistext

A text message containing information (usually unflattering or damaging) about a third party which is sent to the individual it concerns rather than the person for whom the communication is intended.

• Depressive Aggressive

When a person in casual conversation drops extremely depressing information in an order to derail the conversation to a more depressing state.

• paratext

When you send or receive a text that is so long that you need to scroll down.

• nonpology

An insincere apology or expression of regret, often blaming the aggrieved party for being offended or bringing up an irrelevant topic to distract.

• basic white girl

A female who conforms to her surroundings and claims she is unique. She often drinks Starbucks, wears Ugg boots in August, and posts selfies on social networking sites every. single. day. Also uses hashtags that don’t have anything to do with the picture itself.

• yujé

Short form for “usual”.

• Lie-Fi

When your phone or tablet indicates that you are connected to a wireless network, however you are still unable to load webpages or use any internet services with your device

• AM BM

Morning (AM) bowel movement (BM). The first poop of the day, almost always taken immediately upon awakening in the morning.

• craptrap

1. Purposely stinking up the toilet before your roommate or significant other needs to use the bathroom.
2. Walking into the bathroom after forgetting you took a stinky dump just minutes earlier.

I think craptrap, nonpology and lie-fi are my best and will definitely get added into my daily vocabulary.

7. Words we need

Again, another edition of words we need from Urban Dictionary.

• lactcident

Accidental explosive diarrhea caused by consuming a dairy product by a lactose intolerant person.

• Donald Trump

Living proof that money can’t buy good hair.

• gender ninja

a person who’s gender is indecipherable

• selfiecidal

Someone who takes selfies in dangerous situations or circumstances.

• Farting Glances

When a small group or crowed suddenly realizes that someone has emitted a silent but nasty fart and they all look among themselves for facial expressions or body language that might pinpoint the perpetrator.

• Emergenturd

A poop that comes on so suddenly that one fears they may not be able to make it to the toilet.

• Pedolicious

Someone or something that exudes an aura of pedophilia, such as a creepy old man with candy or an older van with tinted windows

Enjoy!

Edited to add: Also check out these 20 words from a recent TEDTalk

Words we need v5

Again, another opportunity to skim through Urban Dictionary and look at words that the English Dictionary seriously needs to consider.

Kidcessory

A child had by a celebrity just for the attention. Usually given a bizarre name, because who cares what the child has to go through growing up, they’re just a kidcessory.

Memeophobia

A distinct, 21st century fear that a photograph or video posted on a social network medium will go viral and you will forever be immortalized in internet infamy.

tip of my thumb

Just about to hit send on a text message when you think better of it and stop.

wealthy selfie

a self-posted image to social media that features a flashy display of large quantities of money.

hate watching

When the pleasure you get watching something on TV comes from your hatred of it.

voluntease

A well intentioned person who repeatedly agrees to do some type of charity work, but ultimately does not follow through with the commitment, often with an excuse at the last moment.

neargasm

the frustrated feeling of being on the brink of something fantastic but never actually tasting that satisfaction.

Cyberloafing

the act of employees using their organization’s Internet access for personal purposes during work hours.

side-text

While texting a group of people you and one of the people in the group also have a private texting conversation.

Enjoy … 

Words we need v3

Following up from Version 1 and 2 here, I think it’s time for us to have another opportunity to laugh and enjoy ourselves. As always, visiting the site will cause you to either laugh or be put off by some of the other irreverent words they have daily.

Wantrepreneur

n: someone who thinks about being an entrepreneur or starting a business but never gets started.

Selfiebombing

The art of ruining people’s selfies by appear behind them right when they tap on the capture button.

Saltdaddy

The complete opposite of a sugardaddy, one who tries, but is broke and fronting.

Fart lapse

The period of time it takes between the fart and the recognition of the fart, from another person.

usie

A group selfie; a picture one takes with themselves and many others in the photo. One takes an usie to be silly with friends and have fun taking random pictures of themselves.

silent video chat

to video chat someone and not say a word. you mostly just stare at the screen and type things to the other person who is engaged in a video chat with you.

Keep it https

Keep it on the down low. Keep it secret.

Cannine whipped

A household that is run by a pet. Specifically a dog. What the dog wants, it gets, and when it wants it. Typically the owners do not see the scenario at all and comment on their “wonderful pet”. Outsiders and friends though can see the caos and true pecking order.

Story vomit

Long winded, boring, nauseating, uninteresting description of an event or the story of someone’s life.

managerial we

When a manager says “we” and means “you”

Bathroom stalemate

Much like in the game of chess, a bathroom stalemate is when two people are in a public restroom and neither wants to be the first to go, so both sit silently in their respective stalls as they wait for the other to leave, or for some loud noise to disguise their business.

Enjoy!!! Particularly liking the bathroom stalemate because just yesterday my sister told me about going into the loo at the same time as this girl that DROPPED IT enough for the whole loo of six stalls to stink up and have two people run away to wait for it to clear. After that situation, you can either let it become a bathroom stalemate or just run outta there!!

Words we need v2

Following from this post, I figured it was time to skim through Urban Dictionary again and come up with words that we actively use and need in formal language.

textretary

A person’s sidekick who texts for the driver

Nocializing 

The act of being out in a social public setting (i.e. Restaurant, Cocktail Bar, Coffee shop) and only spending time on your mobile device; not the people with or around you.

greeting orbit 

When you’re with someone and run into an acquaintance of his/hers. They exchange greetings, which leads to a conversation, and you stand there smiling like a dummy wondering if you’ll ever be introduced.

Bropocalypse 

A large gathering of bros on a mission to do one thing, to get bombed, tanked, or wasted usually ending in some people doing something stupid.

Comment-Message 

When someone types what should have been a message or email in a comment on a public board (example: facebook).

Poster’s Remorse 

The feeling of regret after posting a particular item on Facebook, such as a status update, photo or video.

Smilezoned 

When you approach a member of the opposite sex to ask them out and they respond with a pitying smile

vurp 

a burp laced with a little vomit, usually occurs when you’ve had one too many and it has become difficult to distinguish between the two aka vomiting in your mouth.

bacon tetris 

The act of arranging bacon strips on a frying pan in the most efficient way possible given the dimensions of your pan. The goal is to maximize the number of bacon strips on the heating surface without leaving any part of any strip uncooked.

Porn Mode

A mode available in modern web browsers that doesn’t store any session information.

Send and run

The act of delivering bad or unpleasant news via email at the very last point in the day, so as to purposely avoid being there when the response is received. Usually deployed just after 5pm or before going away on holiday.

Emotionap

Being too emotional, that eventually as a result, you fall asleep

prexhausted

Preemptively exhausted. When you are exhausted just by thinking about something.