Posted in Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged advice, body issue, books, Books reading, house, language, marriage, relationship advice, Sunday Reads
Enthusiastic recommendations for reads that will provide you with abundant reasons to rejoice, reflect or recharge, as suggested by TED speakers and TED-Ed educators. If you’re searching for some calm The Peace of Wild Things: And Other Poems by Wendell Berry This little book of poetry is my current morning dose of calm, and I use…
via TED’s winter reading list: 78 feel-good books — ideas.ted.com
In case you are looking for some great reading recommendations and some great TED talks to listen to.
10 December,2018 in books, design, Heart matters, home, life, marriage, Motherhood/ Parenting, school, working
Tagged books, Books reading, lists, recommendations, TEDtalks
Today, I want to focus on my parents and the values they have imparted in me that I admire and hope to replicate with my children.
- Their work ethic. My parents inspired my sisters and I to work hard, to be our best and not to be limited by gender, our circumstances or other life setbacks. They themselves came from such humble beginnings and accomplished so much that by their actions and choices, you were inspired to try your best.
- Their relationship with money. As far as I know, my parents never bought anything on credit. If they couldn’t save and get it, they did not get it. Also, to save all your money, save even if you have no immediate plans, just save.
- Family first. My sisters and I always knew (know) that we were important and that we mattered to them, that they gave us their best and withheld nothing from us. They loved and even, liked us, and we never doubted this. We are our parents best investment and choice and there is something comforting in that.
- I love that their parenting style did not require them to compare any of us. To them, we are unique, we are individuals and each success was celebrated on its own and each failure dealt with separately. As a result, all five of us are friends and continue to do the same thing with each other to date.
- Faith and the role of God. He is over and above all things, always has and always has been.
- Choice. Marry when you want, there is no pressure to marry or in fact conform because we are women. Study what you want at school – whether Physics or Home science. Learn how to slaughter a chicken or change a tyre, just because you are only girls, you still need to know.
- A love for books. Yes!!!
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged about me, books, family, finances, life, life lessons, parenting, parents, reading, saving, tribute, values, women, work
I have read a couple of great books but recently I just hit a brick wall and can’t seem to get into anything. So I have a couple of books that I am trying to get into:
Have you read any of these books and if so, in what order would you recommend them?
You know those books that everyone raves about and then try as you might you just can’t get into them and then when you do it just feels like they will neither start nor end? Well, these are mine, now I just stop and move onto the next book
- My Brilliant Friend – Elena Ferrante
- How to Read the Air – Dinaw Mengistu
- All the Light we cannot see – Anthony Doerr
- Their Eyes were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston
- Rachel’s Blue – Zakes Mda (South Africa)
And then there is Open City by Teju Cole that I hated but had to finish so I could hate on it 🙂
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, working
Tagged books, cooking, faith, fatherhood, music, pasta recipe, recommendations, South Africa, Sunday Reads, Uganda, xenophobia
About So Long a Letter
About Dear Ijeawele
In March and April I read these two letters between female friends. Both of them touch of womanhood and issues of feminism which although books are written almost four decades apart, are still so relevant and applicable to the plight of women. All in all, they are both great books so I will talk about the common themes that struck a note with me.
- Maintain your identity that is separate from your role as a mother, a wife, a sister-in-law. Maintain that single identity and I would even venture to say, keep pursuing those interests you have and love to do.
- Make your partner a full partner. From Dear Ijeawele, this is quite obvious and self-explanatory. From So Long …. it’s not quite obvious but I like Aissatou (the friend)’s response when her husband married a second wife, she held him immediately accountable and left the marriage. Many called her names and wished something else of her but she held him accountable and did what she had to do.
- Both authors talk about centering marriage in the right place as a nice to have/do but not the penultimate accomplishment. Marriage is neither good nor bad, but how we aspire to it could be.
- Both writers caution each other against assigning certain roles to male or female children and the assumptions we make or impute. The future is not one where boys (girls) can do certain things that girls (boys) cannot. Also the language that we use when we explain the roles and responsibilities to kids also matters a lot.
The entire letter is an ode to female friendship which I totally loved and would therefore recommend both books. You can easily get through both in a single sitting or weekend.
Posted in books, Heart matters, marriage, Motherhood/ Parenting
Tagged books, Books reading, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, female bonding, female friendship, friendship, letters, Mariam Ba, So Long a Letter
The finalists for the 2018 Caine Prize for African Writing were announced earlier this week. The Caine Prize for African Writing is a registered charity whose aim is to bring African writing to a wider audience using our annual literary award. The finalists hail from Kenya :), South Africa and Nigeria and here are their short stories:
I wanna challenge myself to read them all and then guess which one will win. Join me?
I read some really interesting books in 2017.
- On Black Sisters Street: Chika Unigwe – I read it in the context of the current mass migration tales and I helped me imagine the kind of backstories that some of the migrants are fleeing from.
- The Woman Next Door: Yewande Omotoso – Great read. As I read it I kept thinking it would make for a great TV mini-series.
- Rape: Pumla Dineo Gqola– Eye opening. Educative. Informative. Heavy topic, well written.
- When Breath Becomes Air: Paul Kalanithi – I cried after reading this one. It made me think of legacies and the things that drive me.
- Small Great Acts: Jodi Piccoult – I love her writing and as usual, there was a deep ethical question to ponder.
- An Elegy for Easterly: Pettinah Gappah – I am not a big short stories fan but I love the author and the stories did not disappoint. Must admit to the fact that I kept thinking back to these stories during Mugabe’s exit.
- Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City: Matthew Desmond – I love these kinds of books that delve into one deep topic. It was interesting to also see how eviction has interlinkages with so many other issues: unemployment, poverty, crime, food shortages.
- The Mothers: Brit Bennett – I enjoyed this read, it was an easy read but raised so many questions for me – especially on the role of faith in our lives.
- The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Pearce: Jeff Hobbs – Forgetting whether it is the author’s story to tell, this book broke my heart. For anyone that wants to read Hillbilly Elegy, I would rather recommend this one.
- Stay With Me: Ayobami Adebayo – Loved, loved, loved this one. Definitely recommending it to one and all.
- Who Will Catch Us As We Fall: Iman Verjee – Great story on Kenya post-2007. Faultless.
- Lyrics Alley: Leila Aboulela – This book made me dream of visiting Khartoum and The Sudan.
- Beneath the Lion’s Gaze: Maaza Mengiste – It helped me understand so much about Ethiopia. Definitely a must read.
- Kintu: Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi – A book from home. I initially thought it would be too ambitious and then under deliver but no, it was a great book to read. Get it.
- Pachinko: Min Jin Lee – I have a thing for dynastic reads and this delivered exactly what I love: joy, sadness, tears, laughter and triumph.
Posted in books, home
Tagged Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀, book club, books, Books reading, Chika Unigwe, Evicted, Iman Verjee, Jeff Hobbs, Jodi Piccoult, Kintu, Leila Aboulela, Maaza Mengiste, Min Jin Lee, Pachinko, Paul Kalanithi, Pettinah Gappah, Pumla Dineo Gqola, The Mothers, Yewande Omotoso
This definition of her: to go from her father to her husband, to be pretty, docile – a man made tragedy. Her soul was made of larger, more powerful things, things that create or desecrate armies and galaxies. This is why when she loves she changes kingdoms, and when she hates she destroys legacies. Nikita Gill, Jasmine, A Princess That Belonged To Herself First
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, marriage, school, working
Tagged books, Books reading, Chicken, church, faith, fish, friendship, gender, marriage, new year resolutions, pasta recipe, poetry, recipes, Sunday Reads, working
I love New York, I just love it and so I wanted to share a couple of books that remind me of the Big Apple.
- I have shared before that I did not really like Open City and I thought he was just showing off.
- I LOVED Behold the Dreamers. I felt it was more relateable.
- Everyone is raving about the Leavers but I felt it would have been a better short story but it gave me a glimpse of Upstate New York.
Do you love the Big Apple and have you read any books based on this city?
Posted in books
Tagged Behold the Dreamers, books, Books reading, Imbolo Mbue, Lisa Ko, New York, Open City, Teju Cole, The Leavers, travel, travelling
So I recently had occasion to reflect on the past year and to start planning for 2018 and decided to close out the year by reading ten books until the end of coming February. SO here is my reading list (the ones struck off are already complete):
Kintu – Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi
- All the Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doer
Little Fires Everywhere – Celeste Ng
Her Body and Other Parties – Carmen Maria Machado
The Leavers – Lisa Ko
Pachinko – Min Jin Lee
A Column of Fire – Ken Follett
Negroland: A Memoir – Margo Jefferson
Dear Ijeawele or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
The Warmth of Other Suns – Isabel Wilkerson
- Their Eyes were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston
- Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates
- The Gene: An Intimate History – Siddhartha Mukherjee
- Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind – Yuval Harari
Always Another Country: A Memoir of Exile and Home – Sisonke Msimang
Posted in books, life
Tagged books, Books reading, Celeste Ng, Chimamanda, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, essays, fiction, goal setting, goals, Isabel Wilkerson, Ken Follett, Kintu, Negroland, non-fiction, Pachinko, reading, Sisonke Msimang, The Gene
Fill your life with women that empower you, that help you believe in your magic and aid them to believe in their own exceptional power and their incredible magic too. Women that believe in each other can survive anything. Women who believe in each other create armies that will win kingdoms and wars. Nikita Gill
Posted in books, design, home, working
Tagged Beneath the Lion's Gaze, book club, books, Chicken, church, faith, Grace Mugabe, kids, Nigeria, race, recipes, Sunday Reads, white, women and work, working
Posted in books, design, home, life
Tagged Afghanistan, Africa, books, Books reading, cooking, faith, home decor, ministry, motherhood, Nairobi, recipes, Sunday Reads, Uber, women
“Silence is often a woman-flavoured thing. It is guilty of holding countless women’s names and voices hostage inside of its spine and its ribcage.” Nikita Gill
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, marriage
Tagged books, Books reading, cooking, entertainment, India, Indian cuisine, marriage, Pasta, pasta recipe, recipes, Sunday Reads
I miss my gal pals the most when I see stuff like this that we could do together .
I particularly think of the things that I have missed out on with my better female friends: baby showers, bridal showers, high tea, being able to do random things together, road trips, dinners, first homes, come meet my new guy, the new baby, watch a new show together and laugh about it – just a lot of stuff. Yes, IRL I have friends and people I do this but it’s also different.
From the blog post:
I particularly love #2,6, 9 and have done #3 – adult baking dates are awesome – 10, 13.
The comments as usual provides such gems and so here is my to do with a friend list.
- Volunteer together at a cause that’s meaningful to either or both of us.
- More concerts – I watched John Legend with a pal and her cool mom and it was awesome!
- Coworking sessions. Yes to these.
- Sit together and read dates.
- Sleepovers with no husbands or kids.
- Pottery / learn something class.
- Try and commit to an exercise class together.
- Talk about podcast episodes we both love. Tried to get so many pals into this that I am glad I can do it with my sister and partly with The Mr.
- Watch TV shows together and make comments in between, ideally together or even if separately, concurrently.
- Same day road trips and do stuff along the way or at the destination.
- Supper club where each person brings one.
In fact, I decided to have a little snacks and games afternoon at my place next month! Done!!
Posted in Heart matters
Tagged baking, books, classes, Cup of Jo, exercise, female bonding, female friendship, food, friendship, Podcasts, reading, TV
Against the backdrop of the political shenanigans in Kenya, I read this very interesting book on Kenya by a Kenyan Indian author.
About the Book.
Haunted by a past that has kept her from Nairobi for over three years, Leena returns home to discover her family unchanged: her father is still a staunch patriot dreaming of a better country; her mother is still unwilling or unable to let go of the past; and her brother spends his days provoking the establishment as a political activist. When Leena meets a local Kikuyu artist whose past is linked to her own, the two begin a secret affair—one that forces Leena to again question her place in a country she once called home.
Interlinked with Leena’s story is that of Jeffery: a corrupt policeman burdened with his own angers and regrets, and whose questionable actions have unexpected and catastrophic consequences for those closest to him. Who Will Catch Us As We Fall is an epic look at the politics and people of Kenya.
So my general thoughts:
- The book had quite a slow start, I mean you could tell she is hinting at something that happened in the past but she wasn’t going to give away anything quite so quickly.
- I thought it was a good attempt for the author to include Kiswahili phrases but it probably needed an editor who also spoke Kiswahili as in the absence of that the book had basic editorial mistakes like the police moto: Utumishi kwa wote, not utamishi kwa wote; Jogoo House not Jogo House.
- I thought that the city of Nairobi could have been more prominent unless the narrow lens through which it was presented was necessary to present how insular the Indian community in Kenya is?
The book had a few major themes that were particularly meaningful to me.
- Love that she talks about the race/tribe relations between Indians and Africans in Kenya. How there is a sense of mistrust and almost antagonistic hate or resentment. This was best played out by the employer – employee relations by the Indian mama and her Kikuyu/ African maid.
- I thought the discussion between Jai and Ivy at the SONU meeting about what makes a Kenyan Kenyan quite insightful. It made me wonder whether by the same reckoning I would be classified as one because though by birth and upbringing I am one, then again, am I actually one? Will Indians ever be viewed as Kenyan?
- My surprise at Jai choosing to study at UoN instead of going to England which as the mom confirms is the better option and generally the done thing among this sub population.
- It was interesting to read about Pio Gama Pinto because he is one person who history has not represented very well even all these years later.
- Jai could play outside but Leena couldn’t.
- Jeffrey just “took over” his friends wife like she was a spare item and no one questioned that.
- Also the fact that the wife just rolled over and adjusted to this new reality.
- The dynamics between a maid and her employer were very startling and playing into the perception of race and/or tribe in the book is the difference in treatment for a maid between a white and Indian employer.
- Jeffrey wielded significant power and that was how over time he was able to become as corrupt as he was.
- Who really ran the home between Jai’s parents, the mom or the dad?
- Leena’s characterisation of being in Nairobi vs being in London and how one can reimagine / build it up into something bigger than it really is. (p. 335)
- I loved the following quotes that best typified Nairobi.
“I love this country but I must accept it for what it is. A place where thieves are celebrated and good men die unremarkable deaths.” (p. 357)
“Nairobi is a sly town. It is so small that run-ins with people one is trying to avoid are a common occurrence, yet it is segmented enough to keep two searching individuals apart. (p. 384)
Not as ambitious as Dust but for a contemporary book, it was a great effort and I would certainly recommend it to anyone.
Posted in books, Heart matters, home
Tagged books, Books reading, Dust, gender, home, Iman Verjee, Kenya, Kenyan Indians, Kiswahili, Nairobi, power, race, tribe, Yvonne Adhiambo Owuor