Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T

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Apparently the cool kids are doing a weekly REPORT. The acronym stands for: stands for reading, eating, playing, obsessing, recommending, and treating. Obviously content creators also include pics but yeah, not happening here, So here goes

Reading: Thick: And Other Essays

Eating: The best kingklip

Playing: Apple Music’s 30 Years of Freedom playlists (Laduma and Brenda Mtambo especially)

Obsessing: Backseat car organisers

Recommending: The podcast No Stupid Questions

Treating: Woolworths’ Almond Milk and Vanilla handwash and lotion

33 Books in 2023

As I have done in the past couple of years, I present below the total number of books I read in 2023. Again, last year I was better organised as I reviewed the books immediately I read them rather than waiting for the end of the year and having to recall my feeling after reading the book. Without further ado, see the key below and the fuller list below.

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Key: *** Highly recommend ** Yeah,why not read it * nah only read it if you have nothing else (no star) i have no feelings on this book BC-Bookclub Read

1. The Summer Place: A novel – Jennifer Weiner ***
2. The Wednesday Morning Wild Swim – Jules Wake *
3. The Ladies’ Midnight Swimming Club – Faith Hogan
4. Dele weds Destiny – Tomi Obaro *** (I loved the middle part of the book but the ending felt rushed. I am probably being too generous in my rating, but I liked it).
5. Big Summer – Jennifer Weiner *** (It’s clear that the girl can write a character who forever stays in your mind).
6. The Most Likely Club – Elyssa Friedland **
7. Yours Mine Ours – Sinéad Moriarty * (NOPE.Not her finest work yet)
8. Mergers and Acquisitions – Cate Doty * (What a self-indulgent book. Absolutely NOT what I thought it would be about – the book was mis marketed).
9. The Secret keeper of Jaipur – Alka Joshi ***
10. The bullet that missed – Richard Osman ***
11. The Soulmate – Sally Hepworth *** (like cool water after a reading desert)
12. Homecoming – Kate Morton *** (Fantastic pace. The last third of the book will have you sitting on the edge of your seat.)
13. The Marriage Game – Sara Desai **
14. The Love Songs of WEB Du Bois – Honoree Fanon Jeffers (BC) *** (Fantastic and epic read. Just wow )
15. The Dating Plan – Sara Desai **
16. Someone Else’s Shoes – Jojo Moyes * (She has written better / this was a VERY slow burn that eventually got going)
17. Reservations for Six – Lindsay J. Palmer *** (Very character driven).
18. A Spell of Good thing – Ayobami Adebayo (BC) *
19. The Lake House – Kate Morton (Took too long but it was redeemed by the fact that I didn’t see the plot twist at the end coming) **
20. The Wedding Planner – Danielle Steel *** (Surprisingly good)
21. The Five-Star Weekend – Elin Hilderbrand ** (First time I read her work and couldn’t help comparing her to Jennifer Weiner- will read her other work and give her a chance. Update: I did and I will give her another chance in future.)
22. Ties that tether – Jane Igharo (BC) *
23. The Covenant of Water – Abraham Verghese *** (BEST BOOK OF 2023)
24. One Day in Summer – Shari Low
25. Sula – Toni Morrison (BC) ***
26. Forty favours the brave – Lise Carlaw and Sarah Wills ***
27. Natalie Tan’s Book of Luck and Fortune – Roselle Lim (Honestly, this book could have been a short story)
28. Kindred – Octavia Butler (BC) ***
29. The Firm – John Grisham (Reread)
30. The Exchange – John Grisham (What a con!! AVOID)
31. Traitor’s Gate – Jeffrey Archer ***
32. Darling Girls – Sally Hepworth ***
33. Hotel Nantucket – Elin Hilderbrand ***

Current Reads

1. Poverty, by America – Matthew Desmond
2. Happy Place – Emily Henry
3. Lessons in Chemistry – Bonnie Garmus

The TL: DR version

This list is always difficult to summarise so refer to the list above for the fuler details.

Best Historical Fiction: Homecoming

Best Summer Read / Chick lit:  The Summer Place and Hotel Nantucket

Best Non-fiction:  didn’t read too many But Forty favours the Brave hands down

BEST OVERALL  It’s a tie between Love Songs of WEB du Bois and The Covenant of Water

DNF

Like last year, I also kept a list of those books I started but did not finish.

1. The Parable of the Sower – Octavia Butler (BC)

What did your year of reading look like? Any firm favourites?

See my previous lists: 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018

Making my own little humans

This mom went viral for putting together a list of things that she would like her child(ren) to learn. She calls it how to be a person. There are so many skills that we now think old fashioned, unnecessary or whatever else you can think of. But this is what I would include in my list.

• Stitching and being able to repair a tear on your clothes, fix your hem or replace a button.
• Cooking – a couple of meat dishes, some starch, veggies and a salad. Cooking is a life skill.
• Baking – basic cupcakes, a tea loaf
• Saving skills and waiting to get something big (besides food, clothing, shelter, education)
• A love and appreciation for travel
• Reading for fun, all kinds of genres
• Handwashing delicate items and fabrics
• Paying and receiving compliments
• Washing dishes, pots and pans
• Memorising scripture and praying out loud
• Changing a tyre, know about your tyre pressure and to check on your water and oil levels

Finally, not sure how to explain this but to generally think always of the whole family as they go about stuff. For instance, growing up my mom would say if she is not home by say 5:30, start cooking. When we would wash clothes, she would get us the younger ones to wash the easier items as the older girls did the harder stuff and as I got older and proficient, I was entrusted with the same responsibility. When you finish stuff, please add it onto the list, throw out the last roll of tissue and add a new one. This would be the case for a daugther and son.

Motherhood themed books

Momfluenced Essential Labour Screaming on the Inside

The Other Mothers The Stay-at-Home Mother

[Belated] 4-year old birthday interview

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• What is your favourite thing to do? Sing, dance, talk. I also love to be sent.
• What is your favourite food? pizza, chapati, chicken.
• What is your favourite drink? Tea, milk, milkshake
• What is your favourite colour? Sadly, pink
• What is your favourite animal? Rabbits
• What is your favourite TV Show? Peppa Pig (who is four like me 🙂 )
• What is your favourite Movie? Madagascar
• What is your favourite toy? My teddy and dollies
• What is your favourite book? The seTswana version of the Gruffalo Book
• Who is your best friend? Sophia
• What makes you happy? Music, School, Swimming, Spending time with my family
• What makes you sad? School holidays
• What do you want to be when you grow up? TALL, without fail she replies

Sunday Reads

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• A super list of Best Books in 2022
• Talking to kids about money and saving
• A Guide To ‘The Real Housewives’ Beauty Brands (All 52 Of Them)
• 4 Ways Feminism Misunderstands Motherhood
• Keep calm and manage your emotions during the holidays
• Already feeling lighter as I won’t be spending Christmas with the in-laws but here’s how you can set up boundaries if you are.
• Do people still send Christmas cards and if so how do you display them?

Recipes

• I want to bake these cookies with the young lady.
• Fluffy Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes with Toasted Pecans
• I love me some lasagna

Sunday Reads

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• You don’t have to be the perfect parent—be the parent you want them to remember
• What Is After-School Restraint Collapse And How To Help Your Kid
• Moms are the ‘default parent’ because we live in a patriarchy
• Better than a baby shower, me thinks 🙂
• 78 Questions For Couples to Help Get to Know Each Other Better
• Dealing with the mental load of parenting (besides SCREAMING and being passive aggressive)
• 6 strategies that will make you a better reader — and person. I especially like #1, when I stopped reading books I did not enjoy, my life was immediately transformed.

Recipes

• Family-friendly batch meals
• Tender ox-tail
• Vegetable Biryani
• Shrimp recipes
• Yummy yummy yummy Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream
• Enchilladas with lovely sauce

First time reading Audre Lorde

I recently read Audre Lorde’s Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. I had always heard people talking about Audre Lorde, but I just never got round to picking up any of her material until now. It was quite the education; I loved it and would happily recommend anyone pick up her material. It’s not as dense as reading Toni Morrison (in that I was not checking the meaning of every tenth word) but just as sharp and piercing in her arguments.

General thoughts

1. The emerging theme from the book is how do we get free / past the chains imposed because of our race, class, gender, or sexual orientation? Which remains a valid question today despite some of her writings being over 40 years old. Yes, there have been slight shifts, but I will be honest that as I read some of her arguments, it also felt like little had also changed.
2. Her work definitely confirms that racism is the ultimate distraction.
3. Having said that, some of her writing and thoughts made me very uncomfortable especially when I applied my true north, which is the Bible and so I wasn’t fully proselytised, but it was quite informative and challenged or refined some of my thinking.

From the specific essay titled Poetry is not a Luxury I loved the idea of poetry as giving language to experiences that are unique in a living way not the sterile way that forefathers previously considered. Her later work also talks of the low barriers to entry to writing poetry compared to say a novel that requires time, space and income while everyone can write a poem, perhaps not me, but certainly most people can.

The essay Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response blew my mind and particularly this quote on page 74:

The strongest lesson I can teach my son is the same lesson I teach my daughter: how to be who he wishes to be for himself. And the best way I can do this is to be who I am and hope that he will learn from this not how to be me, which is not possible, but how to be himself.

Another essay that spoke to me and I felt so deeply that I read it over days and not in one sitting was Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred and Anger. I love how she charts the anger that women feel – the source and how it plays out across various scenarios. Having done that so well, a part of me could understand why but I also struggled to understand why Black women then turn on each other, we don’t turn that anger outwards but at each other. Throughout the chapter, you certainly feel the anger, but it is so contained and well explained. She also talks of someone grieving the death of her mother and how sad she was that no one would see and love her as her mother did – her mother felt her, saw her, and loved her in her entirety. In one breath I felt my mom’s love and hoped that my daughter always the knows the same of me. Finally, from page 66, I loved this quote:

Mothering ourselves means learning how to be both kind and demanding in the teeth of failure as well as in the face of success, and not misnaming either.

I also loved the essay, The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House.

Book Recommendation

Our Book Club read for March was Toni Morrison’s The Source of Self Regard . I was really eager to get into it because of everyone’s reaction when she passed away in 2019, there was such sadness at the loss of a great literary mind YET, I had struggled to really get into her writing. Prior to this read, I had only read God Help The Child and I quite enjoyed it.

General thoughts

• Her command of language and how she uses it to say what she says. I felt like I was in primary school turning to my dictionary for every second word but it was worth it. As a wordsmith she contorts language to do and say exactly what she needs to do and impart the feeling she needs.
• Her writing confirmed that you can’t be such an accomplished writer and not read widely. Girl reads. Widely.
• How she talks about language and what it can and can’t achieve. You feel it and you enjoy the experience of it all.
• What IS African American literature? Is it a separate thing and/or what actually defines it. Also the hoops it has to jump through to be understood or taken seriously. Gave me twice as good as them to get half of what they have vybes. But we the readers are so much richer for this because the writing is so much better.
• I enjoyed her talking about her writing process and how she thinks of it / approaches it. 

Now to some specific themes and quotes that I loved from each of them.

The Foreign / Being Foreign

• In the second essay she talks through Camara Laye’s book of how a white man would migrate back to Africa and how he prepares himself.  Even then, there is still some caucasity.
• The idea of home and how layered it is. No one knows this more than me, what is home and what makes it home?
• She refers to James Baldwin in her tribute to him as follows: “your life refuses summation … and invites contemplation.”
• Frederick Douglass talking about his grandmother, and James Baldwin talking about his father, and Simone de Beauvoir talking about her mother, these people are my access to me; they are my entrance into my own interior life. And that is so true, we understand ourselves best by looking at our families and those nearest and dearest to us.
• Writers, like water, have perfect memory. 
• But writing is not simply recollecting or reminiscing or even epiphany. It is doing, creating a narrative infused [ …] with legitimate and authentic characteristics of the culture. 

the Afro-American presence in American literature

• The so called every day life of black people is certainly lovely to live, but whoever is living it must know that each day of his “everyday” black life is a triumph of matter over mind and sentiment over common sense. And if he doesn’t know that, then he doesn’t know anything at all.  
• I simply wanted to write literature that was irrevocably, indisputably black not because its characters were, or because I was, but because it took as its creative task and sought as it’s credentials those recognised and verifiable principles of black art. 
• Others are “raced” – whites are not. Or so the conventional wisdom goes. The truth of course, is that we are all “raced”. 

Language

• … when language dies, out of carelessness, disuse, and abuse of esteem, indifference or killed by fiat, not only she herself, but all users and makers are accountable for its demise. 

Other themes, she covers but I did not get any specific quotes on, include, female empowerment, the press, money, human rights, and the artist in society, 

Best chapters 

1. Racism and Fascism
2. Home
3. Wartalk
4. The Slavebody and the blackbody
5. Hard, True and Lasting

It is not an easy read at all but certainly worth the time and energy (and dictionary checking). Get it, this is a 5* from me.

Bookish Sunday Reads

• I didn’t think this book was worth the hype but the interview was informative.
• For book club in February, we are reading two of Abdulrazak Gurnah‘s books.
• How Should Christians Think About Productivity?
• 100 bucket list books. I have only read 11 on this list.
• Some great book recommendations in this blog post and the comments.
• Some more books to look out for in 2022.
• Occasionally, I like to read short stories. Here are some if you do too 🙂

When do you get time to read?

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• Post baby, I have not been able to get back to sleeping through the night consistently so when I get up, I fire up my kindle and read and then if it’s an interesting book, I might read for another 90 – 120 minutes
• As I wait in a queue, or for an appointment. While I wait for someone.
• If the book is really good, I also will read over lunch hour.
• Certain TV shows don’t really require a lot of attention so I might read or read during the commercials or in between two episodes.
• Obviously before I sleep.

Some sweet parenting moments around here

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1. Dropping off the Toddler at school and seeing how excited she is to see her little friends and the teacher;
2. Putting on her playlist and seeing her face light up and watching her sing along to her favourite parts;
3. Watching her interact sweetly with another child in the park, a restaurant or anywhere really;
4. Seeing our family and close friends just love her and react to her;
5. She loves books and might cry at night if you do not read her a story;
6. Hearing her laugh with her father just before he puts her down;
7. … actually every father-daughter interaction is a tearjerker;
8. We have been teaching her seTswana, Kiswahili and English and finally she is getting better at expressing herself and I love it 🙂
9. Her full belly laugh at anything big and small;
10. Watching her character develop and figuring out where she is like me, her dad and mostly, just herself.

A Friday in July

From my favourite spot in the internet:

* a TV show, movie or book you’re into right now
* what you’re looking forward to
* something that’s worrying you
* a dessert you’ll never refuse
* would you rather have flight vs. invisibility?

Right now I am reading some awesome books: The Weekend, Good Company, Unsettled Ground. Nothing really good on TV right now.

I am looking forward to taking my daughter for a visit to my parents later next month.

Worried about whether we will ever get to herd immunity with such varied responses to the COVID-19 vaccine.

I will never say NO to ice cream. Nope!

I would rather have invisibility. All the conversations I will be able to listen to and places I can hang out and not worry about being seen.

What is your response to this pop quiz?

21 books in 2019

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I read 38 books in 2018 but with the birth of my daughter I only made it to 21 last year which I am very proud of.

See the full list below.

Key: *** Highly Recommend ** Yeah, why not read it *Nah, only read if you have nothing else (No star) I have no feelings on the book

1. The Believers – Rebecca Makkai ***
2. Becoming – Michelle Obama *** I initially feared that the hype would be larger than the content of the book so I read it much later and I loved it. My only regret was by then all the book clubs had already met and discussed it.
3. The Year that Changed Everything- Cathy Kelly. First of her reads and I loved it.
4. It Started with Paris – Cathy Kelly.
5. The Storyteller- Jodi Piccoult **Do terrible deeds define us or can we be someone else with time?
6. Secrets of a happy marriage – Cathy Kelly
7. Homecoming – Cathy Kelly.
8. Dead to Me – Lesley Pearse. Love that it was about strong female friendships and personal endurance.
9. Without a Trace – Lesley Pearse
10. Just Mercy- Bryan Stevenson *** There is now a movie being made on this book, check it out.
11. A River of Stars – Vanessa Hua. What a dud, don’t bother.
12. Me and my Sisters – Sinead Moriarty
13. The Secrets Sisters Keep – Sinead Moriarty
14. Between Sisters – Cathy Kelly
15. This Child of Mine – Sinead Moriarty. Skip it at all costs, this could have been a short story or a novella at best.
16. Our Secrets and Lies – Sinead Moriarty
17. Unnatural Causes – Richard Shepherd. This helped with my morbid fascination with dead bodies.
18. The House on Willow Street – Cathy Kelly
19. I owe you one – Sophie Kinsella
20. Washington Black – Esi Edugyan. This was certainly an over hyped book, I wouldn’t recommend it.
21. Home Fire – Kamila Shamsie ***  I simply loved it, check it out.

My book of the year was The Great Believers. This book deals with the burden of being left behind to confront the memories of a sad time. Also, just how far we have come since the first days of the AIDS scourge. Please do yourself a favour and also read it.

Notable mentions were: Home Fire: A Novel and Becoming.

Books I wanted to like but just.did.not: Washington Black

How many books did you get through last year?

Sunday Reads

• How do you talk to kids about attacks on their faith?
• Economics meets theology, I love it!
• How to Discern God’s Will in Your Workplace
• I pray for strong faith like this Chinese Pastors‘.
• In case you are looking for some book inspiration …
• …. also how to get more reading done.
• I love it when Economics solves an actual problem.
• Enjoyed the writing not so much the subject of this profile.
• This Humans of New York story just broke me.

Recipes

• Yummy enchiladas
• Braised chicken thighs
• Spicy Coconut Vegetable Stir Fry
• Overnight Oats
• 15 Citrus Recipes
• Roasted Cauliflower and Quinoa Salad
• I want to eat these mashed potatoes …
• … but I am definitely making this Cauliflower and Chickpea Masala.

Values I admire in my Parents

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Today, I want to focus on my parents and the values they have imparted in me that I admire and hope to replicate with my children.

1. Their work ethic. My parents inspired my sisters and I to work hard, to be our best and not to be limited by gender, our circumstances or other life setbacks. They themselves came from such humble beginnings and accomplished so much that by their actions and choices, you were inspired to try your best.
2. Their relationship with money. As far as I know, my parents never bought anything on credit. If they couldn’t save and get it, they did not get it. Also, to save all your money, save even if you have no immediate plans, just save.
3. Family first. My sisters and I always knew (know) that we were important and that we mattered to them, that they gave us their best and withheld nothing from us. They loved and even, liked us, and we never doubted this. We are our parents best investment and choice and there is something comforting in that.
4. I love that their parenting style did not require them to compare any of us. To them, we are unique, we are individuals and each success was celebrated on its own and each failure dealt with separately. As a result, all five of us are friends and continue to do the same thing with each other to date.
5. Faith and the role of God. He is over and above all things, always has and always has been.
6. Choice. Marry when you want, there is no pressure to marry or in fact conform because we are women. Study what you want at school – whether Physics or Home science. Learn how to slaughter a chicken or change a tyre, just because you are only girls, you still need to know.
7. A love for books. Yes!!!

 

 

Sunday Reads

• Show some love for my new hood.
• What was the first meal you cooked for your beloved other? I went with lamb, not sure why!!
• Podcasts by black women, for black moms.
• I love how this former lesbian talked about her Christian faith.
• Sometimes false Christian theology masquerades itself in variously.
• Don’t dumb yourself down for a marriage partner!
• 10 Outstanding Short Stories to Read 
• Essential Indian Street Food

Recipes

• Lemongrass Poached Chicken Salad With Rice Noodles
• Tomato & Grilled Eggplant Stacked Sandwich
• Smoky Instant Pot Lentils and Rice (Pressure Cooker)
• Spicy, Sweet, Tart, and Savory, Eggplant Side
• Stracciatella Gelato 
• Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

My tried and couldn’t finish book list

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You know those books that everyone raves about and then try as you might you just can’t get into them and then when you do it just feels like they will neither start nor end? Well, these are mine, now I just stop and move onto the next book

1. My Brilliant Friend – Elena Ferrante
2. How to Read the Air – Dinaw Mengistu
3. All the Light we cannot see – Anthony Doerr
4. Their Eyes were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston
5. Rachel’s Blue – Zakes Mda (South Africa)

And then there is Open City by Teju Cole that I hated but had to finish so I could hate on it 🙂

Small Thursday Challenge

The finalists for the 2018 Caine Prize for African Writing were announced earlier this week. The Caine Prize for African Writing is a registered charity whose aim is to bring African writing to a wider audience using our annual literary award. The finalists hail from Kenya :), South Africa and Nigeria and here are their short stories:

• Nonyelum Ekwempu (Nigeria) for American Dream
• Stacy Hardy (South Africa) for Involution
• Olufunke Ogundimu (Nigeria) for The Armed Letter Writers
• Makena Onjerika (Kenya) for Fanta Blackcurrant
• Wole Talabi (Nigeria) for Wednesday’s Story

I wanna challenge myself to read them all and then guess which one will win. Join me?

 

Mini- December (Reading) Goal

So I recently had occasion to reflect on the past year and to start planning for 2018 and decided to close out the year by reading ten books until the end of coming February. SO here is my reading list (the ones struck off are already complete):

1. Kintu – Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi
2. All the Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doer
3. Little Fires Everywhere – Celeste Ng
4. Her Body and Other Parties – Carmen Maria Machado
5. The Leavers – Lisa Ko
6. Pachinko – Min Jin Lee
7. A Column of Fire – Ken Follett
8. Negroland: A Memoir – Margo Jefferson
9. Dear Ijeawele or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
10. The Warmth of Other Suns – Isabel Wilkerson

Bonus

1. Their Eyes were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston
2. Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates
3. The Gene: An Intimate History – Siddhartha Mukherjee
4. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind – Yuval Harari
5. Always Another Country: A Memoir of Exile and Home – Sisonke Msimang