If we were having coffee, I would tell you of the different moments when I knew I was grown and I was OK with it. Minute 5:22 of this video.
“As you start to get older it’s about reconciling the fantasy with reality and still maintaining the vision for your life. So that you are going towards what you want but still incorporating the reality of life’s experience and reconciling that certain things you don’t have control over.” Tracee Ellis Ross
We all have this age when it hits us that some of the plans we made as young people will not take the single format we had envisioned.
When I was young, I knew that I would one day be married, never really planned the wedding but knew that I would be married. In my head, I was going to meet my husband at 24 get married at 26 and have my first child at 28 like my mom. Well, when at 23 I enrolled to do my Masters, I knew that this was never going to happen. Also, when I started working and realised the cost of weddings, I knew I had to push it out.
Or the dream to join the World Bank Young Professional Programme? Slowly and painfully letting this one go as I approach 32 and resting on the fact that hopefully I can join the Bank at a later stage in my career.
Similarly, how quickly I dropped the dream to go to the London School of Economics and do my Masters – one day I looked at their prospectus and realised that I was not interested in their course offering.
The dream to live alone before I was married. Things changed and it was fine.
I guess at different stages I learnt that the dream does not have to come in only one format and that you know what, it’s OK to reconfigure, to rediscover to restart or redo. It’s OK. My new thing is to keep it moving and to keep trying forward.
I pull up to a traffic light and hand over food that I had gotten from the house to give a beggar when I come across them in the course of my day.
Me: Here is some food.
Gentleman: Oh thanks Ma’am (starts to walk off)
G: Oh, I’ll give this to my colleague over there.
G: Oh, I don’t eat rice.
M: Really? What do you eat?
G: Pap en vleis
M: Okay, I will bear that in mind.
When I eat out with friends, if someone won’t take away the food left on their plate, I always take it with me and give it to street kids because most restaurants would rather trash the food than give it to needy people.
Me: Here you go.
Gentleman: Oh thanks Ma’am
G: My name is Jimmy, what’s your name?
M: (I give my standard fake name) Jane
G: Thanks Jane. I also don’t have shoes, I wear a Size 6 (and lifts his foot to show me) maybe you have some shoes at home you could help me with?
M: No, I am a size 5.
NOTE: I never roll down my window in the night and NEVER at any intersection that has a history of people smashing at windows. As I speak to these guys, my window is maybe open only 20% and my eyes are constantly out for the traffic lights and anything else.
- My faith and sometimes looking through my Bible and reading a section that in times past inspired or encouraged me
- Chatting with my sisters about ALL things under the starts
- Random Whatsapp/ Gchat conversations with a friend
- Pilates on Tuesday morning
- Getting into a book so much that you feel like you and the characters are one
- A hot cuppa at just the right time
- Catching up on blogs I love
- Music and Podcasts
- Browsing through a bookshop
- Cooking, baking or trying out a new recipe
What inspires you?
Posted in books, design, good, Heart matters, home, madness, marriage, school
Tagged about, books, conversations, design, dot, family, friends, good, Heart matters, home, madness, marriage, misc, Pilates, school, stuff I like
This week I am grateful for so many little things of a personal nature to me.
- My two little nephews – one is 8 years old and the other is just over a month old. With all the talk of a royal baby, it’s hard not to be grateful for the two that are related to me.
- Feeling more and more integrated with the new team at work and being involved in office banter.
- Had two difficult conversations that went very well actually.
- After three weeks of planning, I FINALLY MADE IT BACK TO GYM!
- Went to St Georges Parktown this past Sunday. Love that Church.
- The opportunity to participate in a very practical and uplifting bible study with a friend in Nairobi.
- Job 37:14: Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God’s wonders
So what caught your eye this past week?