I envied his being Negro: For there he was with his hardened face That told of night and her mystery, Of age and varied experience, In shame, in fear, in joy, his hue the same, Unlike my baby skin that told of all I felt. And while I pitied him for being black, I feared he had a depth unknown to me, Which his darkness hid.
A friend of mine came “out” this week – out, as in of the proverbial closet. Well, he was an acquaintance from Church and he led worship as part of the Praise Team.
I wasn’t really shocked at his coming out and his statements around it because for the longest time he had been posting very provocative articles on homosexuality and I figured that it maybe because he is currently in Uganda (homophobe capitalof the world). On this day he decided to speak plainly and talk about how gay people are out and about and more common than we imagine and thereafter I saw the Christian backlash and response to it all.
I stand by the Bible (God’s) position of homosexuality – it is a sin and it is outside of God’s plan for mankind. I am unapologetic about this. However, there is a clear distinction between the man (as indeed we are all fallen) and the sin. The latter is abhorrent to a Holy Godwhile the former is beloved to Him.
In portraying this distinction, it is vital that fellow man portrays love and understanding. Love that stems from the knowledge that before God, we all fall short in many areas and the understanding that to God, sin is sin and no one’s is better or less than another’s. Bearing this in mind will guide your language and approach. Otherwise, we are no different from the Pharisees!
Personally, I feel for my friend because this is not an easy path he has selected: i) A large part of his past/present life is Church and he has the dilemma of serving a loving God who does not accept his lifestyle and ii) it’s illegal in East Africa – obviously no one has been convicted as successful prosecution requires that the accused be caught in the act.
One of my first (fast) friends from High School was in town this week and despite receiving additional work just before the planned rendezvous, I am glad that we still made time to have dinner and catch up.
Seeing each other after so long resulted in a general acknowledgment that we have all grown up. She is planning a wedding in June and has a little daughter that turns 5 later this year – about as long as I have been with my person. Besides the fact that this November will be 11 years since we finished high school.
In reminiscing about high school, we both agreed that if we could go back, we would relax more and do more extra-curricular activities. We did go to one of those schools where success was guaranteed and we should have been equipped instead to know how to better deal with the pressures of success and how to unwind. More importantly, how to fail and get back up. From conversations with some of my other classmates, it’s hit me that it does take us such a while to get there.
About having the strength and the foresight to leave a job when it stops feeding that inner part of you that ticks and makes you who you are. And not feeling like a failure at the same time when it does not work out. In determining what to do post-high school, few of us really interrogated the options available to us and presently some of us are going through a period of asking whether this is what we want or not. A very important phase that might improperly be read as being radar less and shifty.
The most significant thing she did say to me – women need to be authentic with each other and in the process know when to give yourself a break. In our different roles: daughters, sisters, partners, colleagues … we must know when to ask for help, when to speak up, when things aren’t working out. If women were more honest with themselves …. Who knows how that sentence might end but I will try and find out.
Have you had any interesting conversations this week.
Something I readily know about myself is my ability to see humour in everything and to appreciate the lighter side of life. Laughter certainly is the best medicine because it helps to put things into context. Having said that, I am quite picky about the kind of humour that’s available out there – the content, the setting and whether it actually makes you laugh . There are very few current TV shows that give you that belly ache laugh, these are: Modern Family, HIMYM (definitely click on the link if you have no idea of what show this is) and New Girl.
Now, I will be honest, I don’t really watch much of stand-up comedy unless I stumble upon it/ if it’s Saturday Night Love. BUT, I do have a sense of where it would work and where it might not.
Comedians are unsuitable at:
Weddings. This setting involves people of diverse ages and from various walks of life and I imagine it would be difficult to get a common ground for all. It might work for some of the guest and not appeal to the rest.
A funeral, unless the deceased was a comedian.
In a very tense situation – I know I started the post with the disclaimer that humour is the spice of life, except when mob psychology is the reality. Then its best to just run. Fast.
Any place where you need to make a serious and determined decision i.e. while I am all for piped music at work (please someone make this happen), I would hate to listen to a comedian while drafting reports. Ergo before a job interview, at the bank or while buying a car.
Comedy is definitely appropriate at:
I would love to replace the guy that sings at the parking pay booth with a comedian. I think it will change our public spaces for the better. Plus it will also show up real/poor talent based on the number of unsolicited laughs received.
Corporate gigs, done to death but it works for a reason, no?
Although not done, it might be good to see some/more comedy here:
At the death of a loved older family member. The kind of setting where you want to remember the full life lived by the late and just talk of his/her quirks and what will most be remembered about them. This would be even better where delivered by a family member or it might come off as offensive
Bachelor or Bachelorettes, because strippers are overrated.
This post was sponsored by Funny Guys. However, the words and the content is all mine.
I love the Good Wife and I realised recently that part of the appeal for me lies in the clothes and fashion style that the lead aka The Good Wife has. Below are just some of the top looks for me and a reason why it does it for me.
I love her jackets – the cuts are always impeccable and so beautiful to behold.
When I see her formal dresses, I am almost tempted to go out and buy a couple of dresses to wear to work. I currently have a sum total of ZERO!
I love this get up below – feel like going on a date!
And her red carpet look is almost always impeccable.
Flawless though she is, the dress below looks like she ripped her curtains and stitched them into a dress.
Happy 100th International Women’s Day to all, women and men alike!
I celebrate this day and the joy that is being a woman but I am not oblivious to the fact that I am enjoying this and many out there are suffering and being marginalised for the same. Rape, FGM (female genital mutilation), partner abuses meted out by men and women, women too scared to leave their homes unaccompanied, underage marriage, women that die in child birth, girls that don’t get to go to school, unequal pay for similar work – and the list goes on. My challenge to myself is to enjoy the relative privilege that I enjoy but in my sphere of influence to get others involved and talking about the other half and do my (our) best to uplift those not as blessed as I am. Also, to enjoy the silly banter, the encouraging words from female friends, the softness that is unique to women and to delight in that too and not just dwell on the negative.
Below some articles talking about women and International Women’s Day.
I have realised that I can’t hear someone in my proximity sneeze and not say “bless you”. Whether I know them or not.
I sometimes think that people who know me in real life feel the need to discuss really serious things all the time. Like that’s all I do all day, every day.
Waiting for the Kenyan election results. Very tense moments.
We get the leader that God has set aside for us. Got to believe that.
Self-doubt is a professional killer.
Feedback is great but its got to have context or it cripples you and makes you feel like the dog chasing its own tail.
If I had to mentor someone at university again, I would certainly let them in on some of the soft skills required at the office as formal learning absolutely does not prepare you for the real working life.
I just realised I never speak about what I do for a living. Mhhhh, post?