Posted in Heart matters, home, marriage, working
Tagged Africa, Bible Study, bible verses, Ethiopia, fatherhood, Kenyan elections, marriage, motivation, Nigeria, photography, prayer, Salvation, travel, working
17 strategies for the workplace
The place of the woman in the church: two similar views. One and Two
Pics of Ethiopia
Some amazing things to say to your dad
On home and identity within Nigeria
You are better than you think you are.
I recently read this (poetry) book and it was amazing. A workmate recommended it and initially I thought poetry *insert puke face*. ASIDE: Am I the only 8-4-4 product that does not appreciate poetry for leisure? Anyway, its ~165 pages and since most of the poems are a couple of lines, I finished it in one fell swoop. I LOVED IT, did I already say that?? Below are some of the amazing poems I loved.
There is danger in letting people misname you. If you are a fire, do not answer when they call you a spark.
Tell the story. Give it a name and skin of its own.
Please go out and get the book. It’s a lovely read.
I am in my favourite city, Joburg so enjoy …
How can we change this? We can start, says Dr. David, by letting boys experience their emotions, all of them, without judgment — or by offering them solutions. This means helping them learn the crucial lessons that “Emotions aren’t good or bad” and that “their emotions aren’t bigger than they are. They aren’t something to fear. (NYT
Posted in books, home, life, marriage, school, working
Tagged bringing up boys, Caine Prize, education, Feminism, gardening, labour market, marriage, marriage markets, parenting, South Africa, Sunday Reads, weddings, women and work, writing
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. James 1:26
With those close to me, I love to talk. But equally, I tend to say things that are undesirable or hurtful and so my desire and prayer is that I would learn to restrain my tongue, being slow to speak and anger and quick to listen (James 1:19) starting today and always by God’s strength.
Courtesy of this journaling prompt.
Posted in Heart matters, home, life, marriage, working
Tagged about me, belief, Book of James, faith, Jen Wilkins, lessons learnt, speech
Posted in books, design, Heart matters, home, life, marriage
Tagged 90s Music, ALU Mauritius, books, Books reading, decolonisation, education, faith, Kabali-Kagwa, Kenya, Kenyan elections, Kintu, marriage in Kenya, motherhood, music, Nigeria, photography, race, recipes, Refugees, Sunday Reads, Uganda
I discovered Lauren Daigle this week and she has quickly become a firm favourite. I am amazed at how she sounds like Adele but different. Here are some favourites to enjoy:
Possibly in a bid to cheer myself up after the last post, I found the following images of black women and it made me insanely happy so enjoy!!
Black is beautiful
Black is strong
Black is me and I love it!!
The last couple of weeks have been really tough for women in South Africa as case after case hit the media of women and children of all ages being violated and their bodies inhumanely disposed of and it
broke me shattered me. (For context: search the hashtags #MenAreTrash, #KaraboMokoena and #Courtney Peters) A lot of the incidences were targeted at Black women, which I happen to be.
What upset me further is the fact that in many of these cases, the accused/ the perpetrator was almost always someone known to the victim and/or her family and even went ahead to assist the family to look for the victim. What sort of special animal are you though?
What hurts even more is the fact that justice is meted out based on the socioeconomic status of the victim and therefore thousands in the townships die and no hashtag follows their death. In fact, we hardly know their names and their deaths are not reported on.
The countless rape myths that follow the victim are unbearable. Why was she dressed like that? Why was she with him? Why did she go to his house? How dare she be a lesbian? No, just no!! It is not her fault but his.
A friend of mine tried to think of what to do and even now I still don’t know. Beyond the usual trying to protect yourself from being raped or being violated, what energy is left for you to think of another and to try and stop it from happening to the next woman?
Posted in home
Tagged Africa, books, children, Christianity, decision making, Development, faith, home decor, marriage, open marriage, parenting, recipes, relationships, Sunday Reads
This beautiful bedroom. I pinned it because I love the seat at the foot of the bed and the simple lines and colours.
This young girls locs
I love the openness of this bathroom. Definitely appropriate for a master bedroom
This clever use of space.
Anything pretty caught your eye recently?
via There Must Be More To Life Than This — Thought Catalog
We all can relate to this cycle of life at times.
On the last night of BSF we typically have a sharing night where class members share with each other lessons and thoughts of the study. It is a very encouraging and motivating part of the lesson as the Holy Spirit continues to affirm that He is the one who reveals knowledge to each of us.
Below see some of my thoughts and I pray that you will be deeply encouraged/challenged as I was.
- The Father and the Son act in one accord always. Jesus acted in total obedience and submission to His father and was obedient to death, even death on the Cross (Philippians 2:8).
- God is Sovereign – He ordains all things so that scripture will be fulfilled. This was confirmed for me particularly at the trial, crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord – He was in charge at all points, even when He gave His spirit on the cross.
- Through looking at the relationship between Father and Son, I was able to reevaluate my identity as a Child of God (John 1:12 -13) and to critically evaluate those relationships that were providing a pseudo identity. It particularly helped to read that believers are a gift from the Father to the Son (John 17:2) and we are securely held in the Father and the Son’s hand (John 10:28).
- Believers bear fruit as they abide in Christ. This forced me to look at the Fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) again and ask those around me to help me identify where I am not bearing fruit. It was challenging to hear but definitely true and it gave me another reason to trust and ask God to help me overcome this area of growth.
- The character that most reminded me of myself is definitely Peter. Oh how I wish I could say I was like John but I saw repeatedly how self confident I am as opposed to being God-confident.
- I was struck at how unbelief in Christ existed throughout the gospel. I had previously thought that it only grow during that Holy Week but it was only present among the Pharisees and the other Jewish leaders throughout His life on earth. However as John explicitly says that he wrote this book that we would believe and by believing we would have eternal life (John 20:31), this is what I learnt about belief:
- Jesus confronts unbelief to expose the heart. I was particularly challenged at how praying small prayers ultimately demonstrated that I did not fully believe that God is able to achieve significantly above all I can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
- A believers’ sole identity is in Christ and nothing (or no one) else.
- God provides evidence for each step of belief.
- I also learnt that obedience is the lens that allows us to see the purpose that we were created for. Also, through the depth of my obedience am I able to show my love for Jesus Christ.
Having learnt all of this, I can also say that my discomfort at the number of the unreached (unsaved) also grew. It is appointed for man to die once and after that to face judgment (Hebrew 9:27). My responsibility is purely to share God’s word and leave it to Him as he awakens faith in us and causes us to believe. While scary, failure to believe means meeting Jesus as Judge as opposed to as Saviour and Great High Priest. So I pray that we may continue to share the reason for our Hope when asked (1 Peter 3:15).
Posted in books, home, life, working
Tagged African writing, cooking, gender, land, recipes, Serena Williams, South Africa, travel, travelling, women and work, writing
Posted in books, Heart matters, home, life
Tagged Being Black, cooking, Handmaid's Tale, motherhood, Nairobi, parenting, questions, recipes, Single Ladies, style, supper clubs
Posted in life, working
Tagged break-up, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, France Votes, Le Pen, life lessons, migration, Podcasts, Rachel Dolezal, recipes, relationships, slavery, working
I happily enjoyed all of these books that I would happily recommend any of them.
Posted in books, Heart matters
Tagged Africa, Ama Ata Aidoo, Angela Duckworth, chick lit, Chika Unigwe, death, Emma Straub, Grit, Jeffrey Archer, Jodi Picoult, life, marriage, Paul Kalanithi, Petina Gappah, Pumla Dineo Gqola, race, Sinead Moriarty, womanhood, Yewande Omotoso
I recently read a post about things you would change of your wedding. I loved my wedding and though, mhhh nothing. On second thought, I do know some things I would do differently:
- I would have worn blue or yellow shoes, just because I could.
- I would have insisted the DJ play more Kenyan music.
- As a guest book, I had wanted to buy a new bible and ask people to sign against their favourite verses as a prayer for us the new couple.
- To ensure that all my plans were accomplished and our families could relax and enjoy, I should have paid for a day-of-the-wedding coordinator.
- I still would not have any kids on the line up.
Are there any changes you would have made to your wedding? Why?
This morning the Mr and I had a little fight. I had to take my car for a service – something that in my horror, totally feels like a dentist’s visit what with the information asymmetry, pain (actual and to the wallet) and the fact that there is a specialist whom you trust but then again, information asymmetry. At the root of the fight though is that ugly word: Expectations.
Any one about to be married, or married for a day and an hour will long have heard the mantra that expectations kill a marriage and that the counter is communicate, communicate, communicate. Our little fight had me reassessing all the different expectations that I had regarding marriage and an assessment of all other expectations I have held since our marriage started.
- I expected a partner that would take charge of cars and who would directly engage with mechanics and basically inform me when I needed to do any car-related changes.
- Ergo, any fixing of stuff around the house. I would highlight any issues and he would oversee to the fixing – whether directly or outsourced, I am ambivalent. To be honest, a lot of the technical stuff I was happy to delegate away.
- All newly weds are told that they need to set time for date night or else … Consequently, I too came into marriage with this (fear-driven) expectation and very early on we both figured out that given the pace of our lives it would be infeasible to designate a specific evening to always hang out. Having said that, when one of us is hectic, there is no expectation to do stuff but when things simmer down, we often hang out.
- My family has a habit of starting to plan for Christmas from as early as August/September. His family? Not so much. Initially this made me feel slightly helpless. Besides the family tradition, my personality is such that, you can never be too prepared OR start preparing too early. What we now try and do to incorporate both our idiosyncrasies is to have a lose discussion in September and refine it in the following months. This is certainly imperfect (according to me) but it definitely helps somewhat.
- I thought that I would hate meal planning. Turns out, I love it.
- Sometimes as wives we expect that our husbands will become our best (female) buddy. That’s not the case and surely it’s not the reason that we fell in love to begin with. So keep your buddies and work on building a friendship with your husband too.
- Before the wedding I had heard of brides that often felt a bit sad after the wedding because things had gone back to “normal”. Did I feel the same way? Emphatically, NO!! After the energy and time spent planning the wedding, I was only too happy to settle for normal.
I must say these lessons are over and above learning how selfish I am, how much space and time alone I require. All of that. Marriage is certainly not the penultimate goal, neither is it my most defining relationship but I must say I have learnt a lot and it has been very fulfilling for me.
Posted in Heart matters, marriage
Tagged about me, about us, conflict, date night, friendship, in-laws, love, marriage, meal planning, planning, relationships, Wedding