I got it

The poem I have been waiting for madly.

Whititude – A.S. Bukenya

I envied his being Negro:

For there he was with his hardened face

That told of night and her mystery

Of age and varied experience

In shame, in fear, in joy, his hue the same

Unlike my baby skin that told of all I felt.

And while I pitied him for being black,

I feared he had a depth unknown to me,

Which his darkness hid.

I love this poem because it best explains the race relations and then it’s the one poem in high school I actually got and I guess it resonates with me LOADS. Thanks. enjoy….:-)

i wonder

why every time this week when i tried to help someone and do a really nice thing, all i have gotten is a swift kick in the bottom! not fair and i dont like it at all. Last lesson of BSF, we were looking at The Greatest Commandment and in the applications was the call to go out and love someone as you’d have them love you, eh,well….

on a lighter note, i wonder what other prison will Scoffield break out of next?

the dirty secret

what they really dont tell you about South Africa is that monopoly is a joke and that their local KPLC, ESKOM, here had no plan. they watched us as we increased your consumption of electricity and now they are “rationing” or rather calling it the much prettier load shedding and this means that one week on Tuesday between Tuesday and Saturday 6-10 p.m. and then again the other week on Thursday at the same time, there is bila power! what in goodness name, huh? a friend of mine rightly put it, in the US of Africa? how can there be power in Kenya and then here, bilaz? What irks me is at the peak of Winter, i get that people will be using more power in these months to heat their homes and what but!!!!!! and then coz few homes have gas in them (they all wired for elec) it literally means, bila food- you cant even cook a meal and all that. SO ITS OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Watching Idols, I saw Angela give Scarr a kiss and it hit me, i utterly hate it when Africans kiss on telly. its eeeeek and someone ought to tell them you know! i know its ukoloni-mamboleo but i still think its disgusting and some.

Im done with my crazy assignments and what have you so I feel like i ought to be standing on the rooftolps and shouting like mad. off to do just that now……………:-)

declarations

I had the opportunity to ask myself a few hard questions this day- why are all the friendships I made as an adult and quite outside of school so full of mountains,valleys and all else in between? I know im not too good with affirmation and all that but i just think im too tired of trying too hard especially when the goodwill isnt two way? im feeling like im too old to keep doing this. im at the point of walking away- lets do so now rather than hang on and have it get messy, im all for clean breaks and the faster the better. Is this going to be a constant theme of my twenties? i cant like that i know. .. … urggggggggggg!

beautiful disaster

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right

He’s magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he’s more than I can take

Oh ’cause I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

 

 

 

 

the cabinet

Finally we got us a new cabinet and we pray that we can finally begin to work at rebuilding the nation. At a glance, this is what it looks like.

1. Office of the President

Ministry of State for Provincial Administration and Internal Security- Hon. Professor George Saitoti

Assistant Ministers: Hon. Simon Lesirma, Hon. Joshua Orwa Ojode

2.Ministry of State for Defence

Minister: Hon. Yusuf Haji

Assistant Ministers: Hon. David Musila

Hon. General (Rtd) Joseph Nkaisserry        

3. Office of the Vice President

Vice President and Minister for Home Affairs: Hon. Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka

Assistant Minister: Hon. Lorna Laboso

4. Ministry of State for Immigration and Registration of Persons: Hon. Gerald Otieno Kajwang’

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Francis Baya

5.Ministry of State for National Heritage & Culture:      Hon. William Ole Ntimama

Assistant Minister: Hon. Joel Onyancha Omagwa

6. Office of the Prime Minister:

Prime Minister: Hon. Raila Amollo Odinga

Assistant Minister: Hon. Alfred. Khang’ati

7. Ministry of State for Planning, National Development and Vision Twenty Thirty:        

Minister: Hon. Wycliffe Ambetsa Oparanya

Assistant Minister: Hon. Peter Kenneth

8. Ministry of State for Public Service:

Hon. Dalmas Anyango Otieno

Assistant Minister: Hon. Aden Ahmed Sugow

9. Office of Deputy Prime Minister and Ministry of Trade:

Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Trade:

Hon. Uhuru Kenyatta

Assistant Minister: Hon. James Omingo Magara       

10. Office of the Deputy Prime Minister and Ministry of Local Government

Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Local Government:

Hon. Wycliffe Musalia Mudavadi

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Robison Njeru Githae

11.  Ministry of East African Community

Minister:  Hon. Amason Kingi Jeffah

Assistant Minister: Hon. Peter Munya

12. Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Minister: Hon. Moses Wetangula

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Richard Momoima Onyonka

13. Ministry of Finance

Minister: Hon. Amos Kimunya

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Dr. Oburu Oginga

14. Ministry of Justice, National Cohesion and  Constitutional Affairs

Minister: Hon. Martha Karua

Assistant Minister:  Hon. William Cheptumo Kipkorir

15. Ministry of Nairobi Metropolitan Development

Minister:  Hon. Mutula Kilonzo

Assistant Minister: Hon. Elizabeth Ongoro Masha

16. Ministry of Roads

Minister:  Hon. Kipkalya Kones

Assistant Ministers:  Hon. Wilfred Machage, Hon. Lee Kinyanjui

17. Ministry of Public Works

Minister:  Hon. Chris Obure

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Dickson Wathika  Mwangi

18. Ministry of Transport

Minister:                 Hon. Chirau Ali Makwere

Assistant Minister:        Hon. John Harun Mwau

19Ministry of Water and Irrigation

Minister:                 Hon. Charity Kaluki Ngilu

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Mwangi Kiunjuri

20. Ministry of Regional Development Authorities

Minister:                Hon. Fredrick  Omulo Gumo

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Judah Katoo Ole Metito                     

21. Information & Communications

Minister:                  Hon. Samuel Poghisio

Assistant Minister:        Hon. George Munyasa Khaniri, Hon. Maj. (Rtd) Dhadho Godhana

22. Ministry of Energy

Minister:                Hon. Kiraitu Murungi

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Charles Keter, Hon. Maalim Mohamud Mohamed

23. Ministry of Lands

Minister: Hon. Aggrey James Orengo

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Silvester Wakoli Bifwoli, Hon. Samwel Gonzi Rai

24. Ministry of Environment and Mineral Resources

Minister: Hon. John Michuki

Assistant Ministers:  Hon. Ramadhan Seif Kajembe,

Hon. Jackson Kiplagati Kiptanui

25. Ministry of Forestry and Wildlife               

Minister:                Hon. Noah Wekesa

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Josphat Koli Nanok

26. Ministry of Tourism

Minister:                Hon. Mohamed Najib Balala

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Cecily Mtito Mbarire

27.Ministry of Agriculture       

Minister:                        Hon. William  Samoei Ruto

Assistant Ministers:        Hon Japhet Kareke Mbiuki,

Hon. Gideon Musyoka Ndambuki

28. Ministry of Livestock Development

Minister:                 Hon. Mohamed Abdi Kuti

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Bare Aden Duale

29. Ministry of Fisheries Development       

Minister:                Hon. Paul Nyongesa Otuoma       

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Mohamed Abu Abuchiaba

30. Ministry of Development of Northern Kenya and other Arid Lands

Minister:  Hon. Ibrahim Elmi Mohamed

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Hussein Tarry Sasura

31.Ministry of Cooperatives Development

Minister:                Hon. Joseph Nyagah

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Linah Jebii Kilimo

32. Ministry of Industrialization        

Minister:    Hon. Henry Kiprono Kosgey

Assistant Minister:        Hon. Ndiritu Murithi

33. Ministry of Housing

Minister:  Hon. Peter Soita Shitanda

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Bishop Margaret

Wanjiru Kariuki

34. Ministry of Special Programmes

Minister: Hon. Dr. Naomi Namsi Shabani

Assistant Minister: Hon. Mohamed Muhamud Ali

35. Ministry of Gender and Children Affairs

Minister:  Hon. Esther Murugi Mathenge

Assistant Minister  Hon. Atanas Manyala Keya

36. Ministry of Public Health and Sanitation

Minister: Hon. Hon. Beth Wambui Mugo               

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Dr. James Ondicho Gesami

37. Ministry of Medical Services

Minister: Hon. Prof. Peter Anyang’ Nyong’o

Assistant Minister: Hon. Danson Buya Mungatana

38. Ministry of Labour

Minister:  Hon. John Kiyonga Munyes

Assistant Minister:  Hon. Sospeter Ojamaa Ojamong’

39. Ministry of Youth and Sports       

Minister:     Hon. Dr. Helen Jepkemoi

Sambili

Assistant Minister: Hon. Wavinya Ndeti, Hon. Kabando wa Kabando

40. Ministry of Education        

Minister: Hon. Samson Kegeo Ongeri

Assistant Ministers: Hon. Prof. Patrick Ayiecho

Olweny

Hon. Andrew Calist  Mwatela

41.Ministry of Higher Education, Science and Technology

Minister: Hon. Dr. Sally Jepngetich Kosgey

Assistant Ministers:  Hon. Kilemi Mweria, Asman Abongotum Kamama

42. Office of the Attorney General

Attorney General: Hon. Amos Wako

I see a couple of women and thats good, in significant seats other than Lady Karua, i cant say how many more. They have pretty much recycled the same old folks and i wonder what we get when we place old wine in new wineskins? lets wait and see

the list is courtesy of Standard.

Carolina

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Akon is in town. I am not particularly a fan or anything but remain interested because of the number of times he has dissed Kenya and then tonight he is performing in Joburg and tomorrow in  Cape Town. What will his fans in Kenya think?

This coming week I have to do my presentation based on my topic which in a nutshell I’m asking whether its possible to calculate total economic value for non market assets and services. Yeah, basically when running Cost-Benefit Analyses, we assume that the enviroment has a zero value but nothing could be further from the truth than that. Thing is, I have NO data for this and I have an assignment this week that will basically be asking me what data will I be using and whats its integrity- questions that my sixteen and a half year old head had never once considered six months ago. Growing up sucks and all. After I finish writing my long essay, Id be ever so glad if i never have to hear words like “randomization, quasi and non- randomization experiments,  literature review, Labour Force Surveys, methodology, and what have you.

Running on empty, run out of masks are all phrases that have been coming to mind this past week as i thought about a pal of mine. A pal of mine once told me this Greek Myth about Narcissus who was especially cruel to Echo who used to look upon him with Love and he rebuffed her coz he was so into himself ( the root for the word narcissist) but anyhu, Echo looked at this Narcissus and loved him but nothing doing. The way I was told this was she loved him and though she knew he couldn’t love her back, she knew she was the best thing for him. MORAL:  sometimes you know (you are) the best thing for someone but while they find themselves and see this for themselves you just gotta sit by and let them stumble and fall a coupl of times all the while you watch from NOT TOO FAR away. I wonder always whether its possible to love someone too much? I mean, if you know what someone needs why cant they hand over life rights to you and then you do whats gotta be done and hand things over to them? Life ..

subsequent to blogging here i learnt the name of the book is “why am i afraid to tell you who i am?”. My favest poem,scratch that, the only one i know is called Whititude by Austin Bukenya from Heinemann Poems or something, could someone type it out and send it to me? PLEASE…. 🙂

i love me some

• Cheese
• Poached eggs
• Chicken Viennas with cheese centres
• Lemon and Ginger Herbal tea bags
• Oliver Mtukudzi
• African literati
• OCTOBER ROAD

oooh boy

I am watching East and Southern Pop Idols and wondering to myself, first of all- when were the auditions held? was I in town while they were being held or had i already gone- I think I have watched all the other idols from pretty much the rest of the world and thus far- NO goosebumps kabisa. whats the deal- we buy CDs and of course these pips are singing these ma-songs from these ma-celebs and where is all that going? my sis and i are convinced they dont have family or loved ones coz hnbc? would these wapendwas let you go to the big time and enyewe you pretty much suck at this? as in seriously…… between that nut of a boy who wanted to play the guitar at the back of his head and insists on “eye contact”, Ms Orange (we know how she voted now), the gal who closely watched the Beyonce video and this does not exclude all the reggea and po-po-po dudes. The saddest of all was in Dar, Tanzanians who bless their souls speak kidogo English is where the Judges went all crazy with them. I just thought it was matharau plain and simple. And there I was loving me some bongo like mad. More than that, I think the judges are reaaaaaally acting plain and simple. They are trying too hard and that makes them lose credibility with me. The whole Simon Cowell(Sqarr) the passive female judge ( Angela) and then the cross between the two of them(Tkay). THAT is so tired and we need originality like jana already, anyhu, this weekend is Kampala and i hope they show me something coz hii aibu, haileti furaha at all.

I love my tuts and all the kids i have met in all of them. what will i do in like six weeks when i have to detach, will i be able to? i cant think about it now coz its not on…. reading Tara Road now and with each page im smiling like a punk….my mindless job to do if i didnt have school is being an illustrator like for Comics and the likes  

books galore

I am at present reading this book and as usual I have read all the reviews about it and I have that warm and fuzzy feeling coz it seems to have been a good choice you know… I have found that I am reading a lot of books about identity as a central theme as it is an issue of particular interest to me.  I would also like to own or read one of these books:

1.  On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan
2. The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta

Please,please….:-)

Psalm 16

Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup;

  you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

  surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I absolutely love this verse.

press on

When the mountain is steep
when the valley is deep
when the body is weary
when we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard
when we’re battered and scarred
when we’ve spent our resource
when we’ve given our all

In Jesus name we press on
In jesus name we press on
dear lord, with the prize
clear before our eyes
we find the strength to press on

I listened to a LOVELY sermon this morning at Church and it was all about Joy. I thought of that shady programme a large majority of us grew up watching called “Joy Bringers” and I thought, what I might need to know about are the joy stealers in my life. What are those things that keep weighing me down? Each time I feel a sadness and a loss/ heaviness in my heart- what are those things that bring me to that point right there? I think for most of last year was the feeling of failure to magnitudes and dimensions so far unthought and unimagined. The whole quarter life crisis is the most unspoken thing that I THINK I had to deal with last year and have I found myself? I think growing up is tough to do but what I learnt is that it doesnt happen all at once- its gradual and on some score I might do well and then at still other times, fail miserably. The lesson though is to keep at and to realize that Joy supersedes my present circumstances. Psalm 13 summarizes this thought well:

2   How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
       and every day have sorrow in my heart?
       How long will my enemy triumph over me?

  5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
       my heart rejoices in your salvation.

 6 I will sing to the LORD,
       for he has been good to me.

Today I admit that I have failed on this one score thus far BUT YET will I choose to rejoice in the Lord unfailing love and admit His banner over me that is love.

I finally did my hair jana and it looks lovely. The salonist was a man and I am not too comfy with that coz i find it too intimate but he wasnt too bad really 🙂 Have a not too heavy week ahead, an assignment due on Tuesday morning, a CAT kesho evening that I havent started on but the Joy of the Lord is my what?

 

crazy in love

I just had me one of these and I thought i had loved until this point.

 Im in love and wonderfully, its the best feeling ever. To poach an egg, yes i started eating eggs again. I saw this really easy recipe.

Place some cling film in a teacup and line it lightly with some oil, break an egg into it and tie the top of it.Place it into a sauce pan of lightly simmering water and leave it on for like 4-6 minutes. Serve on toast or hash browns. If you wish, you can add chives, cheese to the egg and tie. Cook as above.

Enjoy…..:-))

what does it mean when….

• a dude you thinks likes you takes you to watch what’s potentially a porn movie?
• a “pal” blacklists you off their Facebook page?
• you post on someones wall and they somehow NEVER get to ditto on yours?
• you like someone more than they do- be it a gal or a man, whomever?
• all the wrong things and thoughts make me happiest?
• you know what needs doing but somehow cant get around to doing?
• saving face counts more than helping out and being a dear?
• money counts more to me than saving a soul?
• when the soul cares more for about money than their soul?
• i write all this and i still dont know jerk?

Well?

should i just keep chasing pavements

even if it leads me nowhere?  Anyway, I am thinking about the situation in Zim and Im just thinking, enyewe Lord, I can’t do this again and not more than four months ago? This is exactly what happened in Kenya not long after the elections and the resulting anxiety, the rumours, the lies, the division, the mistrust BUT most of all, the division of it all. No one ever wants war, no one ever finds it worth it to lose all that they have worked for and NO one wants to lose their loved ones ever and indeed Im not agitating for war- wouldnt want that on my worst enemy BUT Lord, we need you now more than ever. Lord we need you to come through for Africa. LORD we know you have a plan for us and one day shall we rise up and say that truly, truly you had us in your arms but help us (me) to remember this too coz at times, I feel bad that we are the butt of so many jokes,economic experiments and suggestions and social advice that is SO not good for us? I know that you are Jehovah who neither sleeps nor slumbers but Lord, where are you when this is happening? Lord, what can I do today to shikilia and keep the Faith. I trust you and I know that all things work for the Good of they who love the Lord who and are called according to His purpose. Lord, Africa is yours and I submit…

I read something that challenged me greatly or rather reminded me of something.  As Christians we at times find ourselves hiding under all these -isms and shoulds that don’t really help us and quite frankly have nought to do with the Way. How many of my close friends have fallen off the radar and under the banner of Love and eternal sunshine I have just looked and said silent,if at all, prayers. That doesnt cut it and I have this feeling of foreboding that when i make it to Heaven , the Lord will ask me what i did. How did I contribute to this and how did I try and reach out to them and draw them back to His path? As a leader, it became especially difficult to watch them slip away each of these dear Sheep and do jerk about it: I have term papers, the CATS next week, I have a coffee date cant be bothered, the minutes are due, i dont have their number….. a boyfriend, a nephew, a father, someone, anyone………needs me. Rather than the dear sheep.

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
( Nichole Nordman, Legacy)

Lord, Im sorry and help me to see when I go astray and when I look inward rather than to you the Centre and Sustainor of all.

Amen. Aso. Nii wega.