Tag Archives: violence against women

Long weekend reads

It’s the Easter weekend, four long glorious days to reflect on what Christ did for us and to rejuvenate with our family and loved ones. Be safe and enjoy the links below:

  1. How to boost your baking experience
  2. Taking stock of your spices
  3. I can’t imagine this level of isolation or unquestioning belief. Not good or bad, just different.
  4. I love that me and the Mr are a trend
  5. On the idiocy of copying a foreign education system, just for the sake
  6. Asking your salary has become the new black. But it shouldn’t
  7. Preach on Chris Blattman
  8. African School of Economics – based in Cotonou, Benin and offering a Master in Mathematics, Economics and Statistics (MMES) and Master in Business Administration (MBA)
  9. How well do you know your neighbours?
  10. This is us/ our near future
  11. The only piece of advice I would give to people planning a wedding (oh! and thank God I never felt the post-wedding blues or the crash)
  12. I know of Sasha Grey from Entourage. You?
  13. So true! Foreign blacks are always prepared to indigenous Blacks
  14. Advice before you get started on your PhD
  15. Women in Kenya and the need for safe spaces (I totally have an intellectual crush on the writer!)
  16. On being a woman in Tehran (and staying)
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Links from this week

As you have your breaky/tea/ lunch break, please enjoy stuff that I have read this week that I liked.

 

Go out, enjoy, BE woman

Happy 100th International Women’s Day to all, women and men alike!

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I celebrate this day and the joy that is being a woman but I am not oblivious to the fact that I am enjoying this and many out there are suffering and being marginalised for the same. Rape,  FGM (female genital mutilation), partner abuses meted out by men and women, women too scared to leave their homes unaccompanied, underage marriage, women that die in child birth, girls that don’t get to go to school, unequal pay for similar work – and the list goes on. My challenge to myself is to enjoy the relative privilege that I enjoy but in my sphere of influence to get others involved and talking about the other half and do my (our) best to uplift those not as blessed as I am. Also, to enjoy the silly banter, the encouraging words from female friends, the softness that is unique to women and to delight in that too and not just dwell on the negative.

Below some articles talking about women and International Women’s Day.

What to do on International Women’s Day?

A most painful and sad campaign against T-shirts.

man down

The post’s title is from the Rihanna song that I have been playing in the background all week.

This afternoon, I went to do my hair and got talking to my stylist and this is an abridged version of that conversation.

The guy doing my hair always has this huge turban and looks full on Rastafari and once we got speaking about hair and why we wear our dreadlocks. In my case, it is a hair style but for him it is a whole spiritual thing. He tried to convince me otherwise but we decided to agree to disagree. Then we met today.

He started my asking what I do and when I said, he wanted to know what economists do. Tricky one, without having to go through the limited needs and unlimited wants first year vybe. So then he tried to guess my age and I thoroughly disabused him of the notion that I am a young ‘un. Then silence, while I savoured my hair wash when he randomly asked me if I like to go out (to set the mood, the music at Knoxx is largely Reggae and blares fairly loud) as he was dancing through some song and I twisted my nose and said no. So he asked why not and I said, well, I don’t have time and I am not really a fan of the whole going out scene. Silence again. Then he asked me, are you married? (Side note: I wear a silver band on my left fourth finger AND, I didn’t know where this conversation was headed). So I say yes and he then asked, so does your husband (Side note: always said, I’d call my husband, Hubstar or The Hubs, so henceforth, acquaint yourself with relevant terms) also not go out? I say no, fictitious Hubstar works too hard to go out in the evenings. So he asks, what time is too late and I say, 8 to 9 on most evenings. And then he asks, what time does he leave in the mornings? I say 6:30. So then he asks, doesn’t that put a strain on the relationship. when do you guys get to hang out? And I say at the weekends, and on the few occasions that he does come home earlier than that, we hang out and its not so bad. Then Silence. So later, he asks, do you have kids? I said no. Do you want any? Nope! He then asks, does The Hubs know this, with a look of such pity for the poor imaginary Hubs). So finally, he got talking about himself and his chick and the crux of this post.

He was telling me how God’s order to all of us was to go forth and multiply and that we need to do that. So I nod and ask him if he has any kids and he said no, and how he told his current chick that if they ever had any kids, he would have to have them tested. And first I didn’t hear that bit so I say,huh and he repeats it again. Turns out, he has been with the chick for four years and in the last year, she has stepped out on their relationship and played him and that’s why he told her to her face, turn up preggers and I’m getting the kid tested to check its mine! So then, he goes on to tell me how he found out she had played him. (If you are wondering, I was at the salon for about 1.5 hours, hence the intensity of the conversation.) Apparently, she was crying and this dude came and comforted her and he kissed her and she kissed him back and the rest is history. So he asked her, why didn’t you think of me while you were doing this? Good Q. But apparently, he got so pissed off, he HIT her. He beat her up and then he cut her hair. Apparently, the latter is prescribed by the Rastafari community and for certain “baddies”, the prescribed punishment is cutting of said (spiritual) hair.

What pissed me off about all of this is the double standard. The fact that, he beat her and no one cut his hair and it was fine for him. He went on to say how he had been provoked to the point of no return and how he needed to stand up and let her know she was woman and he was man! There’s other ways to prove this point, me thinks! There is no justification for beating a woman and that’s it! There is nothing more that anyone can say. He tried to argue and say that he had been pushed to breaking point, one time too many and he had to  do this. No, nothing like she made you do this. I agree, that in relationships you do have ups and downs and moments when you drive each other to breaking point and while the guy might argue that she made me do it, what does he think she will do when he similarly provokes her? There is no possible explanation to beating women or men. Walk away and when it gets to the point where you are done walking, split up. Its not worth it.