We all deal with failure or loss in one way or another. What I have learnt in the last few years. (In no particular order)
- Acknowledge it. Ride that boat, allow yourself to grieve and mourn and lash out and just acknowledge that its happening to you.
- Think back to a previous success and recall how you made it through. What lessons did you learn that you can apply now.
- Make some kind of a plan. With me, it helps to come up with some kind of a plan and to have actual steps to overcoming and getting out of the present darkness.
- Get on your knees and PRAY. Over the years my Bible has all these different dates against verses that have encouraged me and sustained me through past difficulties and the thing that helps me is the faithfulness of God. In times past, I have been through darker periods and always, without fail, HE has come through for me.
- Talk to others. It doesn’t have to be the whole village but you have to have some trusted people that you can let your guard down with and draw on their experiences and help yourself.
- Guard against unhealthy lifestyle practices. I am scared of falling into the “comfort eating” trap and so I closely monitor my eating patterns, opting to drink a lot of water, juice and healthy drinks ; eating fruit and fibre and highly balance meals and just watching on the junk and oily foods.
- Get active or you won’t sleep at night and will just keep mulling on the upset or set-back. Do something so physically demanding, you will be forced to sleep through the night.
How do you deal with life’s setbacks?
I know I’m growing up and this I know because I’m learning to stop asking as many questions as I usually would. I’m glad for my parents and my family coz I have been allowed to ask questions that in hindsight have seemed that bit inappropriate but the space was created for me that allowed me to ask and even get answers. sadly, not everyone is family and won’t keep humouring me as my family is wont to.
I ask a lot of stuff and with one of my pals I was forced to ask myself exactly why I do that- I think I ask when the story doesn’t add up and there is some glaring half truth but no more because I think it opens me up a lot and one can easily see what it is I’m thinking of. More so when I won’t get an answer!
Why do it to begin with? Why ask and be taken round in circles only to get no answer and then later be told that I’m not the easiest person to talk to. I’m learning that I know little where friendships are concerned and maybe I don’t get it but I’m out of the race!
Do you have something in your life that you really love but whose memory is attached to something painful in your past?
Proverbs 4:24 cautions us to guard our hearts for from it springs the issues of life and how true could that be? When you are in a bad place and you know what needs to be done but the repercussions are too mega and the pain involved too elephant (mega), what do you do? How do people get up and shrug off the pain and just get going? How do you face the possibility of pain bravely and just damn it all and go ahead with living? Why are men able to compartmentalize and yet we girls can’t? How come if we have an argument you can go out with your friends and have a right ‘ol party while I can’t? How can you put on a sunny disposition and yet you ought to know better? What gives? Why are we so different?
THE wedding is finally tomorrow! Can’t wait for it though I know I will be exhausted at the end of it all! Going for a sleepover thereafter!
I used to be happy, I used to laugh and mean it, I could trust my judgment NOT anymore. I used to know a happy girl-I used to be ME, now I dont even know who that is. As Oprah says the one thing I know for sure is that I actually know nothing. and not even about myself.
I hope this link works coz my last entry was a hoax at best!!!!
“People have scars in all sort of unexpected places, like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of their old wounds most of our wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar but some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut’s long gone, the pain, still lingers.” Dr. Meredith Grey
Who would have thought I would resort to quoting Ellen Pompeo a.k.a. Dr Grey? But its true about pain. YOU often think you are over it until the smallest of things reminds you that actually you aren’t by which point it has cut to the quick and almost brought you to your knees. Pain is the worst thing that we all have to go through. No one is safe from the devastating effects of pain. I think this was the hardest lesson of the last couple of months. Dealing with pain is not easy and not when you can’t point at it and suitably address it. It hurts. It hurts when you have always been the strong one and suddenly you need someone and don’t even know where to begin. When it’s your shoulder that has always been the one offered for support, how do you learn to suddenly lean on another for their support? I guess the question is really how do we let go and allow ourselves to just embrace the fact that we all hurt and no one expects you to be the stone about it. That really, its OK to admit that it hurts and to take it from their a step at a time, one day after the next until it doesn’t hurt at all.