Tag Archives: life lessons

22. On relationships, what I know to date

“I met John in India while studying in a Hindi language program. He did all sorts of exciting things. He was from San Francisco and worked for all these super lefty politicians. In his twenties, he pretended to be a teenager so he could go back to high school and write an article about it. He did philanthropic work in African rain forests. Life with him was like a long vacation. Every day was an adventure. He’d literally wake up every morning and say: ‘Today’s an adventure.’ We dated for nine years. But he didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want to have kids. And even though he wanted to save humanity on a macro scale, he just wasn’t that warm. I never felt like I could come home in a way. So eventually I ended it. I met my current husband online. He was ‘all in’ from the very beginning. He doesn’t live in a rainforest, but he feels like home. If my sister sends me a picture of my niece wearing huge sunglasses, he doesn’t roll his eyes. He laughs even harder than I do.” Source

Last evening I was speaking to my high school pals and we got talking relationships. In particular, one of the ladies was talking about a friend at University that dated this guy for three/four years and then then she called things off because he just wasn’t ambitious enough for her liking. Fast forward to three years later and his bit jobs have gotten him loads of recognition and he is now doing that much better than when they were together.

What I know?

  1. Sometimes you can be with a great guy, but he is not good for you but could definitely be great for someone else. And that’s OK. The guy in the HONY story sounded great, but he was not good for her and she has much better now.

  2. Also, someone can be great for you but the timing is off and you break up only to pick up the pieces years later and get on and your relationship advances.

  3. You can always see if your partner has potential – I believe that certain traits that are indicators of success or stability (emotional and mental, included) can be determined in the course of dating.

  4. In a bad situation, no external person can tell us what to do. We may get advice but at the end, the decision to stay or not must come from the individual.

  5. Slight contradiction to four above, I still tell people if something is off. My personal motto is better a broken engagement than a broken marriage. So I ask and I prod and heartily welcome it from my friends.

What I know for a fact is that relationships are not linear and they do not develop in this way at all.

They take time.

They are nuanced.

They vary from pair to pair and time to time.

And that is even in a committed relationship, people change as do the couple’s needs and it is important to be frank about these and keep re-committing or choosing to stay put.

20. And now for an announcement

Seems like October is the month when I announce or detail changes in my personal life and this year is no different!

The Mr and I are headed to Cape Town and while a part of me feels meh! about it, I am also looking forward to it because I feel it will be a lovely time for us in this phase of our life. So packing, moving and getting used to a new city!!

15. Some fashion advice I live by ..

That I have gotten mainly from my dad and my stylish first born sister. Also, stuff that I have picked up over time.

  1. Always be comfortable in whatever you wear. Otherwise you get awkward and it shows.
  2. Dress appropriately for whatever the function / occasion.
  3. Fit, fit, fit …. pick the right size of clothes. Always.
  4. My sister always says wear a belt with any pair of trousers/skirt that has belt hoops.
  5. Carry a handbag (When I was nine, ten, eleven, she would already try and impress this on me and I would look at her like huh? and now look at me!)
  6. From my dad, don’t mix black and brown. I NEVER DO!
  7. If you wear something chunky at the top, balance it out with something fitting on the bottom.
  8. I NEVER wear skirts with shoes that show my toes. Just eeks me out!
  9. I prefer round toe heels because  feel like they are kinder on my toes.
  10. In general I am a very conservative dresser – not too loud prints, very dark tones, sensible and comfortable shoes.

Any fashion rules you live by?

On adulting

I Can't Adult Today shirt | A Girl Named PJ

Been talking with a friend the past week about being a grown up. I guess both of us are at a crossroad making us feel a bit vulnerable.

I read this blog today (also the source of the pic) and I just screamed internally! Finally someone that gets this adult business.

  • How did my parents manage to adult so successfully? Did they ever feel the sheer panic at some of the decisions they made? How did they hide it when/if they did?
  • How did they know that it was Ok and how did they not panic when they went ahead to have five children and therefore have to make life adult decisions for them too?
  • It’s so weird because I know I am an adult (hello, 30!), I do adult things and have adult responsibilities but most times, I feel out of depth and scarily much like a 16 year old.
  • At 16, I was so driven by the desire to finish high school and weirdly, not so much about growing up because I felt I had all the freedom and some as well as  money and I was cool. Just get out of high school.
  • And then now, it’s like decisions galore and every time you ask for help, people throw it back at you like, what do you think and all I want is do this and then that.
  • So frustrating sometimes y’all. But however much it is, I sometimes look back and think, I haven’t done too shabby with myself and the few decisions I have made for myself so it’s not too bad. Not at all.

Let’s just say I am not successfully adulting today!

*PS: I love how adulting has become a verb in this post but I really saw it on Facebook earlier today so I can’t even claim this genius!

Theme for 2015



My theme verse for this year is:

I am the Lord’s servant,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

This is the year for me to step out in faith and step out of the proverbial experience and open myself up to new experiences in life, greater depth in my relationships, loving more and living fully AND being present. The only way I can proudly say ” … be it unto me …” is if I review every experience as it unfolds and choose in that moment, what I shall do or not do and why.

In line with this, I also saw this quote from Seth Godin:

Fear is not the enemy. Paralysis is the enemy.

I have been too scared about so many things and this year, I am trying not to fall into that trap because when I ventured out, even a little, the returns were so much better.

What’s your theme verse? Word? Or quote for this year?

(2014 Theme)

I wanna be friends with this little girl in the centre

little girl centre


She seems so confident, so unique and happy in her skin. Like how we all are as kids and then we grow up and find out that there are no quick guide books on how to do life and all things grown up. A couple of friends and I were speaking about this yesterday and we all lamented the fact that we are almost 30 years and still trying to figure stuff out and no one had any firm or definite answers on life. Urggh! How did the other grown ups looks so well put together?

Theme for 2014

Last year I spent much of the year trusting and waiting for the Lord that it is only fitting for my verse this year to be a continuation of that and of the lessons picked or learnt.

Isaiah 43:19

  • This verse speaks to me because it urges me to forget the past things and look at the new things that God promises to do for me and mine.
  • While He will do that, I need to look out and be ready to receive and recognise it or it will pass me by and I will chalk it down to luck, goodwill or something I could have done.
  • Also, that the new stuff will be exceedingly abundantly above what I can imagine or think of.
  • The new and exciting thing are not limited to one area of my life only and will traverse every part of it. And I think its fitting for me in this year!!

So I am just going to hold on, learn, look and wait to receive.

What about you? Have you got a word, a theme verse or some guiding principle for this year?

Fear no more!

The thing that holds you back from learning and growing!

A promise daily from God that we must fear not/ be not afraid!

The emotion that in the last year I had to work double hard to overcome, not give in to the critics BUT be bold enough to step out of my comfort zone.

Today, what is fear holding you back from achieving in your life?

For my sisters

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a girls’ girl and I firmly believe in the strength of women and the beauty that is women’s friendships. This is hardly surprising as some of the best lessons in life I learnt from my four older sisters – who are family and as I have gotten older, my friends.

From my first sister, I have learnt about kindness and generosity – genuinely giving things from the bottom of your heart and not expecting anything in return. Maybe its because she is the first born and long accustomed to having to share with the babies, but she is  the kind of person who would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. From her I have also learnt the importance of tithing and giving that 10% of your income to God – this from the time when she gave me pocket money to now when I earn a salary. She is also very funny and never once treated me as a baby. My best memory of her was when she left for University, at an institution four and a half hours from Nairobi and she would write letters home to me telling me about school. Obviously part of it was to me, but some parts I had to relay the information to my parents. But what stood out was she wrote to me not as the 7 – 11 year old I was at the time, but as an old enough sister.

From my second sister, I have learnt the soft professional skills  –  my CV and cover letter are modelled along hers, she has sent me all sorts of articles on how to conduct myself at the office, how to behave at interviews, how to speak to my boss and make certain requests, verbally and via email. I have also learnt how to laugh and just savour the moments with her being able to listen and laugh at anything I tell her, often making the story more than the humorous event. She is truly my biggest champion with my two best memories of her being the day an older girl bullied me and she matched out a friends house (having heard her small sister cry) and slapped her across the cheek. SCORE! Also in Primary school, she used to sign my school diary and check my homework on behalf of my parents and a particular teacher did not like this and called her stupid just as I was stupid – I rushed home and reported this and first thing Monday morning, she was at school coming to do battle with him. My best moment was watching him slink back to class after being chastened in her presence. DOUBLE SCORE!!!

My third sister and I can laugh.  Growing up, we spent so many hours just cracking up and laughing and annoying the other three who often did not get it. We have the same sense of humour and often, just need to say it once when the other would double up in laughter with tears rolling down and sides hurting. I owe the direction that my post-graduate studies took entirely to her, she got me to send in my application in time, she went to the school, followed up with them continuously until I finally got admitted. For two years, she stayed on at work until 7/ half 8 in the evening to pick me up as I did not drive at the time. On a lighter note, she also taught me how to make rice and we all know much how I love the stuff. She also greatly inspired a lot of my musical and reading interests with us jointly reading and discussing so many books over the years.

The sister whom I follow has an uncanny sixth sense – she can read someone and however long it takes, her initial instincts will be proven right. And so I tend to depend on that at times, I can go in and get to know the person but also allow for the fact that she will be right about them eventually. She is also entirely protective and of all my sisters, she definitely makes me most feel like the baby of the family. She also taught me how to drive and through her son, has shown me what it is like to bring up a child and how it is to have someone to be responsible over.

Do you also have sisters? What have you taught them or what have they learnt from you?

Strength to pick up the broken pieces

We all deal with failure or loss in one way or another. What I have learnt in the last few years. (In no particular order)

  1. Acknowledge it. Ride that boat, allow yourself to grieve and mourn and lash out and just acknowledge that its happening to you.
  2. Think back to a previous success and recall how you made it through. What lessons did you learn that you can apply now.
  3. Make some kind of a plan. With me, it helps to come up with some kind of a plan and to have actual steps to overcoming and getting out of the present darkness.
  4. Get on your knees and PRAY. Over the years my Bible has all these different dates against verses that have encouraged me and sustained me through past difficulties and the thing that helps me is the faithfulness of God. In times past, I have been through darker periods and always, without fail, HE has come through for me.
  5. Talk to others. It doesn’t have to be the whole village but you have to have some trusted people that you can let your guard down with and draw on their experiences and help yourself.
  6. Guard against unhealthy lifestyle practices. I am scared of falling into the “comfort eating” trap and so I closely monitor my eating patterns, opting to drink a lot of water, juice and healthy drinks ; eating fruit and fibre and highly balance meals and just watching on the junk and oily foods.
  7. Get active or you won’t sleep at night and will just keep mulling on the upset or set-back. Do something so physically demanding, you will be forced to sleep through the night.

How do you deal with life’s setbacks?

on friendship and its dynamics

So I have a friend, who is dear and loved by me, but of late I feel like I have allowed the relationship balance to tilt so that all I become is a listening and/or sounding board for her stuff and mine just bounces back. I feel really bad for saying this but I have thought about it long and hard and questioned the feelings of hurt and I arrive at the same conclusion.

I read this post recently, and it struck a chord with me.

I feel like last year I had a lot of stuff happening in my life, the permit, starting work and the paper, oh the paper. And maybe I bent my friends ears with them having to listen to me and encourage and comfort and so this year, I knew, that a lot of it would be about listening and doing the same. I suppose that’s the thing with friendship – its a cycle, and the roles keep changing between all the players involved. And I guess, I would do well to roll over and read this new script for the moment.

Sadly, I really dont mind doing any of this, I just wish, that she would listen to my stuff and just acknowledge it some of the time.

Guest post

Andy Shaw is a 28-year-old comedian from Pennsylvania who has been writing the WildARSChase blog for three years, now at http://andyshawcomedy.com. He loves 90s pop culture, is a vegetarian, and would love to travel the world if someone would be kind enough to loan him some money. He’s also on Twitter @wildarschase.

I’ve been a lot of things in my 20s.
* A college graduate
* A fiance
* An ex-fiance
* A new employee, twice
* An amateur, then a paid comedian
* A reality show blogger
* An uncle
But I’ve never been a father. Sure, some might count owning a puppy as being a dad, but since you can put a puppy in a cage and not a baby, I’ll assume it’s different.
Being a father is something many of my friends have experienced in their 20s. And by many, I mean all. Or at least it seems that way. Just recently, there was a rash of people I know announcing pregnancies – on Facebook, naturally – with the same frequency that a bank teller announced “Next customer in line.” It was like God was handing out pregnancies like free checking accounts.
I will assume one day I will get that life lesson of being a father. Hopefully, it’s when I’m ready and not when I say, “You’re HOW late?”
And when it’s time, I hope there’s a handbook. I mean, there is a daddy handbook right?
Because I have no idea how to fix plumbing or teach a kid to ride a bike or yell at my daughter’s boyfriend for keeping her past curfew. If there’s not a how-to book, then all these dad friends of mine must be really good at on-the-job training.
As much as people in their 20s think they know everything and have experienced everything, it’s so very far from the truth. The only truth is that it’s the first extended period of doing things on your own.
I can’t say anything really prepares you for being a parent, other than watching reality TV and thinking “OK, I’ll just do the opposite of all that.”
The strangest thought, though, is this: Our parents worried about the same exact thing. They had no idea what they were doing, and did it anyway (which may explain a few things).
So for now, I’ll ride out the twilight years of my 20s, wait until that stork arrives, and until then, pretend my puppy just broke curfew.

football and funerals

Thinking of adding a new category for some of my posts, lessons from South Africa for the reason that a large part of the blog was about moving towns and coming back to school and integrating into both spaces. My greater focus was on the academic bit of things really and not much about the society and the culture.  I suppose with school done I am now forced to broaden my take on things.

I remember the first advert I ever saw about funeral cover and how the first few times it was not immediately clear to me the very nature of the product being sold. It turns out that in this country, you can make monthly contributions to some very prominent and financially robust companies (except for that football team that also provides these benefits!) with the understanding that they pay out at your death to cover funeral expenses as well as provide you with different benefits. These range from cash back given on contributions made, payment of funeral expenses (note: NOT medical bills or expenses), financial support to living beneficiaries for a stipulated period.  Now juxtapose this with Uganda where people are buried a day or two, at most, after death. What with the lack of mortuary facilities and really, the person is dead, what more? It is also interesting to note that you can begin to make contributions any time from 18 until 64 and thereafter, I suppose your chances of dying increase enormously that no one would take you on. Once you start making these payments though, you can continue until the day you pass away, whether at 70 or 99. Prices on these premiums range from R20 per month to a “steeper” R80. It was also interesting that most of these benefits are open to locals, or foreigners with permanent residency arrangements in place. I don’t know, I just thought it all bizarre then, now, it’s fairly normal and I never ask myself what, what, what? Or bat an eyelid at a funeral society (chama) formed to specifically raise funds and pay out in the event of a members or a dependants death. Mhhh… how time changes us all!

last year 2

Looking through older posts, I found this here. And while it might be later than before, here goes 2009 in words….

1. What did you do in 2009 that you had never done before? Still thinking….
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?  I still don’t do resolutions but I hoped to finish my Masters by end of the year and of course that has been pushed out alittle…
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My high school classmate, three more of them this timeJ

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yeah, a friend from Church

5. What countries did you visit? Uganda, Kenya

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Time to relax and not be rushed about school deadlines, time to serve at my church, the opportunity to travel.

7.  What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 14th
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a job, and having the guts to end a friendship that was a little toxic

9. What was your biggest failure? Losing a close friend, Still

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thank GOD, no

11. What was the best thing you bought? Nothing really major

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? BLANK

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? A little depressed F.W.K.

14. Where did most of your money go? Air time and lunch

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Finishing school, going home in December, the Confederation Cup and 365 days to kick off

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? BLANK

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? HAPPIER
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER
c) richer or poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Really said the things I meant rather than hold it all in.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Second guess myself and think of only the worst case scenario

20. How did you spend Christmas? Walked in the rain, spent all afternoon looking for a place to have lunch, had a laugh with the family….chatted with S

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Yes

22. What was your favourite TV program? The usual suspects….Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? NOT hate but some people there IS less affection, yes!
24. What was the best book you read? Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet, That thing around your neck, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Melanie Fiona, DBanj,

26. What did you want and get? Flowers, a duvet cover, driving lessons

27. What did you want and not get? A KINDLE but thank God for the I-Pad

28. What was your favourite film of this year? Don’t really know, can’t wait for Precious

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 25. Was at school all day then I chilled with family and loved ones after…

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Doing better in school…

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?  Skinny jeans and tight tops, Skirts and

32. What kept you sane? God, Coffee, Laughter, chat, custard donuts

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Can’t really think

34. What political issue stirred you the most? JZ and all his sheenanigans

35. Who did you miss the most? Unique. Family

36. Who was the best new person you met? No new people, L.K. and them

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Love is a risk.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. BLANK

21 for life

It seems at 21 I knew it all or I came very close to knowing a lot of it. Was skimming through some of the stuff I wrote from back then and other than these quotes below that meant something to me then and now, If I’m honest, I really learnt a lot from my younger self….tihiii. ENJOY

  • “Love does not dominate, it cultivates” Goethe
  •  Many waters cannot quench love: many rivers cannot wash it away.
  •  If you are far from the one you love, you love the one who is near.
  •  The one who loves least controls the relationship.
  • “I’d rather be with God in the dark than alone in the light”  Corrie Ten Boom
  • “We have to change our patterns of reacting to experiences for our problems do not lie in what we experience, but in the attitude we have towards it” Akong Rimpoche
  •  The pain of waiting is nothing compared to that of regret.
  • “It is impossible for us to break laws; we only break ourselves upon them” Cecil B. De Mille
  •  God will not do by miracle what I am to do by obedience.
  •  “The greatness of a man’s power is in the measure of his surrender” William Booth
  • Vision: the ability to turn a picture of the future into passion
  • You can’t trust your affections, but you can rely on love and character.
  •  “It is possible to have a fulfilled life even if there are many unfulfilled desires” Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  • “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you”    Aldous Huxley
  •  “Your greatest need is to be delivered from the wrath of God- and that has already been accomplished for you through the death and resurrection of Christ. So why doubt that God will provide a much, much lesser need?”   C. J. Mahaney
  • Decision, we make them. Then they turn around and make us. And sometimes they break us.
  •  God doesn’t play dice –   Albert Einstein
  •  “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” Anais Nin
  •  “If you don’t care to be crucified emotionally in a dating relationship, leave the saving and changing of others to the Lord” Josh Harris

place, where is my place?

Growing up is funny.

I mean at various points in your life, certain things tend to take precedence and thats all that one can think about and then time passes and you look back at what you were so concerned about and you just want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. I look back at the diaries I kept as a thirteen year old and the only thing that saves me from mortal embarrasment is the fact that they were written in all pureness of spirit and heart. But you know what, nothing prepares you for the uncertainty that is your twenties…..it’s the most vicious thing I have known and I want out. It’s worse than adolescence and then to make it worse,  everyone thinks you ‘are all grown up and don’t need them to hold your hand and then they just throw you out to the dogs to kinda make your way as you go along. The whole uncertainty only gets worse when its mirrored in your friends too. Its not bad enough that you are literally fighting the demons and barely managing to keep them under wraps but also that you get to see the same crazed look in the eyes of your peers.

I am losing pals. I don’t know what I can do about it but I know that being away this year has forced me to be less dependent on friendships that I had made over time. Not in a bad way but I was just thinking that in February when I was leaving, I didn’t want to go because I kept thinking how I would be leaving my friends and then they would move on and when or if i get back it would have changed too much but in hindsight, I am glad that I did and at the time and manner in which I left. Remaining would only have stagnated my growth and the kind of experiences I’ve had would never occur. The pain was certainly worth it.


Outside of my family, no one owes me anything in life and even they are limited in how much or what they can give me.

One year of growth can bring with it changes that may threaten retardation but this week a friend sent me a lovley reminder that i shall shamelessly copy paste below:

“Power is developed in the absence of human assistance”

“At times, people who treated you the worst were actually preparing
you for the best. (from mean employers to ex-es to family, distant
relatives etc) They stripped from you the cumbersome weights and
entanglements that hindered the birth of inner resilience. Yes, such
friends leave us feeling naked & even vulnerable but it is through
those feelings that we begin to adapt and see our survival instincts

“We gain great direction through rejection. Rejection helps us focus
on new horizons without the hindrances of wondering ‘what if?’
Against this rough canvas of rejection and the pain it produces, God
paints the greatest sunrise the world has ever seen! However,
rejection is only marvelous in the eyes of someone whose heart is
wholly trusted in the Lord.”

If my memory serves me correctly it was from Naked and Not Ashamed by Jakes. I especially like the bit about developing power in the absence of human assistance. How will you know you can cross the big road if you never attempt to do so? How will you know your deserve better than that good-for-nothing man you’re with if you don’t muster the courage to walk out the door and trust that the Lord will uphold you even as you trust Him in this? I like the fact that when you’re submitted to Gods will and removed from the feel-good sentiment that people often want to share with you for whatever reason that therein He is working. There does come a time when you just gotta step forth from them and be yourself as the Lord intended and as He would have you be!

I guess this for me is about identity more than anything else, who am I? whose am I? and what am I if I take this path? and after the results? Does taking the road not travelled make you a better person or does it detract from the unseen and as yet unknown path? It is a bit scary but this year and part of last year I am coming into my own and painful though it is, it is making me a better person and on the way, the pain that I presently experience will be replaced with pleasure and when I do look back on these years of pain, I shall be sure that these were the birthing pains that would birth ideas, love, life, deeper faith, more understanding and relationships that withstood the test of adulthood, fear, bad choices and wrong advise.

Bus number 37 ( The Love Bus)

I have learnt that if we baby sit someone and expect them to grow up- it doesn’t work.  We have to release those that we love and let them go.

I think it was Goethe who said, if you love something you have to release it and let it go and if it was meant to be, it will come back to you. Sadly, we can’t grow up if we are never given the chance to grow up and show some backbone. SAD BUT TRUE.  I used to wonder whether it was possible to love someone too much. I thought I had the answer to that but I fear, that I still don’t know.

I guess we are all guilty of doing this and lingering longer than we must. On places that we ought never to have stopped at to begin with. Growing up sucks balls I tell you, but the lessons I have learnt on my own, wouldnt trade them for anything….

SIDE NOTE: I think I have just seen a colleague engaged to our former boss! Oh ok, now makes sense.

i wonder

i just saw this blog that had pictures of kids dead and lying in a morgue as a result of this senseless murders that have erupted across most parts of Kenya. As a Christian, i know that we ought to submit to our leaders and this is regardless of whether i think they were elected fairly or not- thats hardly the case here. in my heart, i have been struggling with wanting to say really bad things about his character but i just cant until when i beheld the pictures of those children piled one upon the other! who does that to any one least of all kids and thinks its justified? yesterday i came across an article of these people who burnt the church down in Eldoret and they were trying to explain why they killed the women and children and to me the argument itself was a non-starter!

i wonder what the situation will be like in June of this year will things be better or worse or normal as we knew it?

i wonder honestly what kivuitu must be feeling like? what does he think of JUST before he goes to bed, what does he feel when he hears about the flare ups that are happening all over?

i wonder why the Cabinet had to be named this week and why it couldnt wait until after the “Peace Talks”. i wonder who is running the government and where the President is when stuff is cutting and he is on the nil-by-mouth diet? i wonder where is the brilliant economist? what happened to him?

i wonder what runs through the Gvt spokesman’s mind each time he has to talk? and does he realize that after this gvt finishes their five years in office he will be rendered virtually unemployable? he is not even a sycophant or a boot-licker, something FAR beyond that and doesnt he feel bad about it? i wonder whether he can look himself straight in the mirror without feeling bad!

i wonder most of all how we will resolve this question of tribe in kenya and whether it will one day STOP to matter!

i wonder too why well meaning gestures are often the ones that hurt the most? i wonder also about pain and the heart? if we keep getting our hearts hurt/ broken, do they get smaller with time or do they get to a point where they are bigger than the hurt and it stops to move them in any specific way? i wonder what will happen to pain when we get to heaven?

elephant issues

Proverbs 4:24 cautions us to guard our hearts for from it springs the issues of life and how true could that be? When you are in a bad place and you know what needs to be done but the repercussions are too mega and the pain involved too elephant (mega), what do you do? How do people get up and shrug off the pain and just get going? How do you face the possibility of pain bravely and just damn it all and go ahead with living? Why are men able to compartmentalize and yet we girls can’t? How come if we have an argument you can go out with your friends and have a right ‘ol party while I can’t?  How can you put on a sunny disposition and yet you ought to know better? What gives? Why are we so different?

THE wedding is finally tomorrow! Can’t wait for it though I know I will be exhausted at the end of it all! Going for a sleepover thereafter!

I used to be happy, I used to laugh and mean it, I could trust my judgment NOT anymore. I used to know a happy girl-I used to be ME, now I dont even know who that is. As Oprah says the one thing I know for sure is that I actually know nothing. and not even about myself.

I hope this link works coz my last entry was a hoax at best!!!!