Poems for my Daughter

One

When your daughter asks you if she’s pretty, looking like the universe is weighing down her little bones with insecurity, resist the urge to say “Of course, darling, Of course you are.”
Tell her instead: “Everyday, I bless the stars that fell apart to allow your body’s embers to glow to life.”
Tell her instead: “In the 7 billion that exist on this planet you are the only one of your kind.”
Tell her instead: “You are so much more than pretty. The stars that gave you to me made you to be like the sun. You are their best ever masterpiece. You aren’t pretty. You are inspiring.”

Nikita Gill

Two

“i will tell you, my daughter
of your worth
not your beauty
everyday. (your beauty is a given. every being is born beautiful)
knowing your worth
can save your life.
raising you on beauty alone,
you will be starved.
you will be raw.
you will be weak.
an easy stomach.
always in need of someone telling you how beautiful you are.”

Emotional Nutrition – Nayyirah Waheed

 

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Dear Future Daughter

I generally hate letters written to future whatevers but today being Women’s Day in South Africa and because I just watched an advert of ladies giving advice to a younger self, I thought I would give it a try.

1. Stand tall and work on fostering positive self (body) image. There is so much advise to women today about how they ought to look/ weigh/ what they need to do and this piles on the pressure. Filter out all of these and work with your body type, your likes and bring out the best in yourself.
2. Work hard at school. Push yourself  extremely hard and do not dim your light so any guy around you can feel better about himself. Keep learning and challenging yourself to greater and better heights.
3. Surround yourself with female friends that push you to your best and that you can do life with. Female  friends rock! FACT. We are not all in competition with each other (female) and do not all like to gossip and bring down a fellow sister. Work on being a good  friend.
4. What makes you tick and brings out your inner feminine self? Don’t worry it varies from one lady to the next, find what works for you and foster that. If you wanna be like mummy, I love to read and to get my hair done.
5. Work on your relationship with God. That’s the most important  and constant relationship you will ever have.

Overall, be confident. There is nothing as attractive as a woman who is confident in her skin and who draws out the best in the different people she encounters in her day to day life.

All the best!!

Sunday Reads

1. These tips on how to give a good toast should be mandatory read. The number of wedding toasts I have heard and cringed.
2. Free versus structured play. I am all for free play.
3. Interesting study on why women share photos of their kids on social media.
4. Apparently more people are using video to inform family and friends alike that they are having a baba! (NYT article).
5. 10 ways to reduce your wedding budget.
6. Yes kids get sick at daycare, but they also get sick less often later. This study proves and my mom always said. (NYT article)
7. Such a sad story but so beautifully and heart-warmingly portrayed.
8. So much cuteness in these pictures.
9. On the messaging that we s(sub) consciously send to our daughters.
10. Spicy carrot cumin and coconut soup.
11.  Seven frozen yoghurt recipes.

Men have been denied so many safe spaces where they can be men and vulnerable
Guys like us, it turns out, are hungry for a place to talk with other men, particularly about how fatherhood is changing us, and changing writ large. Just as literature has long helped people see that our seemingly personal struggles are universal, being able to talk in this group offers a similar revelation. In an age of near-constant superficial virtual connection, there’s an enormous benefit in having a real life community to confide in more deeply and provide a genuine social network — especially for men and young fathers so often without it.

(Please also read the comments)

 

Some links to start off the weekend

When I am a lazy blogger, I always come back with a myriad of links for people to enjoy. This time is no different either, so enjoy!!

• My new love, mussels and here is a recipe to try it out.
• This article made me wish I had a job that allowed for more flexi working in terms of location.
• If/When I get a daughter, I pray I teach her some of these lessons, particularly 6,12, 15,24, 25, 31 combined with 32, 36, 37, 71, 87, 91, 92 and 93.
• Heard a week where I just wanted to listen some inspiring TEDTalks and this blog post nicely summarises some of the Top 20 talks of the last year.
• Since I recently read Malcolm Gladwell’s David and Goliath, this critic of the 10,000 hour rule sounds fitting.
• Brilliant article on how to get the most from your employees while giving them the opportunity or the necessary leg up. 
• I definitely feel upset by the President saying, in response to Nkandla-gate, that I did not ask for the R250m renovations on my house. EPIC FAIL!!!
• I am totally overdosing on food porn and these are some of my best blogs at the moment: Naturally Ella, Food52, Serious Eats, Love and Lemons and Smitten Kitchen.
• As I am currently looking at stationery, it was a pleasant surprise to stumble upon Google Fonts.

Hope I have made sufficient amends for my absence on the posting front.