Despite doing pre-marital counselling, I love how Ann Patchet speaks of marriage, the very commitment and what it means to her. Please listen here. Below are some of the salient points from the podcast.
- How much love her husband had for her following their marriage compared to when they were dating (for 11 years). I did not cohabit and so I cannot compare, but I firmly believe this to be true because being married does change things and opens you up to a vulnerable and committed love.
- She also speaks of the different expectations or roles that a girlfriend has versus a wife. This had quite the impact on her decision to remarry when her partner fell ill and she knew that she could only deal with it or support him as wife.
- On joining their accounts and what it signaled for their relationship. Couples deal differently with finances and there is no unique solution, only that both parties should feel comfortable and secure in their decision.
- Getting married for the right reason. This matters because it led her to marry the first guy at 24 despite misgivings and then at 41, she was willing to get married for other reasons altogether. All it says to me, there isn’t a single reason for or against, but a conscious decision to act or not.
- She talks about how motherhood and how she always knew that she didn’t want to be one. This, despite the fact that society tried to attach different meanings to her decisions like loving to walk around with a puppy. I love the analogy she gives of being sent to an empty drawer to look for something time and again and each time coming back to say that she had not found anything. She expresses it more profoundly and I loved that as I had never heard it that way before.
Let me know what you think because right about now, I feel like going out and getting her book.