Breaking up with a friend


So I AM VERY loyal in a friendship but will once in a while call things to a head when  they are just not working between a friend and I. So this is how I go about that whole process.

  1. Take time and think through the entire life of the friendship, the good, the bad and the ugly. Grieve even if you need to.
  2. Be honest about the issues that did not make you happy and why you can’t be in the friendship anymore.
  3. Decide if you want to ghost the friend or if you want to speak to them about it. My key determinant is always: is there a chance that you might make up later or is this the end of the friendship?
  4. If I am going to say something, I always email the friend because it gives them room to process without the added pressure of having to think or say something in response.
  5. If, and as it often happens, they are part of a bigger friendship group then I force myself to be mature enough that not everyone will feel as I do and that their friendship with others need not end because of me. However, I make it clear that my stuff will not and should not be shared with the ex-pal.

Have you ever ended a friendship? How did you do it and did you and the pal make up?

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