Brandon from Humans of New York has been on a mega roll this past week. Love the following two quotes:
On love and more than just love, secure love.
“I feel much more secure in my current relationship. Everything about my last relationship felt conditional on me measuring up, which magnified my insecurities. There was a tentativeness to everything. It’s hard to explain, but it was certainly felt. It could be a slight hesitation in holding hands, or an unwillingness to talk about the future. Or if he did talk about the future, he used tentative pronouns. It was ‘his’ future and not ‘our’ future.”
I once loved someone that didn’t love me back and if he did, he didn’t show it in a way that made me feel secure and loved. Now that I have that, I can totally relate with the quote above. If the guy or girl doesn’t ever talk in “we” and of “our future” I would say walk away. No, RUN! Otherwise, the doubt and the fear becomes too crippling and you can never quite leave of your own volition but you also somehow know that one day, it will all be over, just like that.
On being a mother and maintaining your identity.
“I’m trying to raise three children and not lose who I am. I used to be a fashion buyer, and I got a lot of satisfaction from that, but now it’s so easy for life to be all about the kids. They need me all the time, and my whole identity seems to be wrapped up in seeing them learn and grow every day. So I’m trying to do something everyday that’s just for me. It could be as simple as flipping through a fashion magazine in a café. I just want there to be something left of myself when they grow older and leave the house.”
My worst fear is losing my identity and only being known as mom and wife. So I like that her remedy is the little things, keep doing stuff that I love that makes me happy. My mom loved to walk the high street on a random afternoon between leaving the office and coming home. My mom’s room was a haven to her, her little space where we children were only ever allowed under the strictest circumstances and only for a limited space of time. I now see why she did that and I love her all the more for it.