UPDATED: Why am I a member of this Facebook group?


I recently joined this group on Facebook and it has been quite the eye-opener. The spirit of the group is very commendable – a bunch of mothers wishing to discuss  issues of marriage, parenthood and careers and all other similar concerns all while helping each other. Great stuff! Unfortunately this group is closed so the reader cant really appreciate some of my thoughts:

  1. For the most part, it is helpful and asking a question, WILL get you an answer! There are some rather honest and helpful women here that go out of their way to help and give fair advice to each query.
  2. Advice on this group must be taken with a pinch of salt as the different members came from diverse cultures, religious groups, social standing and, and!
  3. The most common themes discussed are  issues with domestic workers, a cheating spouse and whether to stay or leave him alone, the other woman involved in promiscuity with your husband and certain very titillating sexual queries that leave little to the imagination.
  4. There is something about anonymity and the licence that it gives people to be bold in the kind of questions they ask and the nature and tone of advice that is given! The mommy wars and the judgment? All. VERY. Real. Sadly!
  5. When I hate this group, its when I read some of the comments and some of the inquiries from the women and while it shows the complexity that is being a wife or mother today – what with both partners working out of the home and most likely full-time -it does not  go further and push the  boundaries and talk of the new roles for women and men. A recent conversation centres around whether as a woman you should wash your husbands’ hands or whether he should go to the sink and wash his hands. To me, this is neither here nor there because if a guy will leave you because you did not wash his hands, he is not worth it!!! Also, it’s never clear to me what some of these guys actually also do for their marriages and how they grapple with what its like to be a man/husband/father in this day and age. And I feel like this group is missing out on having the bigger, more significant discussions that we need to having as a matter of urgency!

Why am I on this group? Probably because there is never a dull moment but I would enjoy it better if I had a whip to smack some of the frequent commentators.

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