I lost a very good friend of mine in the last half of last year under very O.C. cum One Tree Hill moves…. The honest truth is I wasn’t a very good friend and justify it as I might, I was in the wrong and while this is the totally wrongEST forum to do this on, I am horribly eaten up by the guilt of the circumstances leading up to and the choices I made, consciously and otherwise…. In your twenties there are already so many unknowns and unknowables that when you latch onto a good thing, you surely cling on for dear life and never let it go. I was fool enough to think when it all came to light, I would be tried and found not wanting….I committed the ultimate girlpal no-no and took the guys side and it will forever go with me to my six foot ending! Thing is, I really miss my pal and wish that things would just go back to how they were before(HOW?) but in my ideal little head, they somehow can! sigh,sigh…………..
when we change the variables that have always governed our lives, what have we got and how do we evaluate them? I’ve been thinking about the poem below by Robert Frost.
|TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,|
|And sorry I could not travel both|
|And be one traveler, long I stood|
|And looked down one as far as I could|
|To where it bent in the undergrowth;||5|
|Then took the other, as just as fair,|
|And having perhaps the better claim,|
|Because it was grassy and wanted wear;|
|Though as for that the passing there|
|Had worn them really about the same,||10|
|And both that morning equally lay|
|In leaves no step had trodden black.|
|Oh, I kept the first for another day!|
|Yet knowing how way leads on to way,|
|I doubted if I should ever come back.||15|
|I shall be telling this with a sigh|
|Somewhere ages and ages hence:|
|Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—|
|I took the one less traveled by,|
|And that has made all the difference.||20|
When all is said and done and He that judges our work, judges it, what shall He find about me and each one of us?