In the Olive bushes


I’m feeling quite despondent at this point in time- I want to go home and lie down and have my Mummy rub my head and tell me that it will be all ok,even when I know it might not be. I want release, I need it,I crave it- false affirmation right now couldn’t be better you know! Its too much for a little girl you know!

In BSF, we are doing the study of Christ’s last week and this week, was the bit where HE goes into the garden to pray just before HE goes to be killed for you and I. At the point where HE says HE is so filled with sorrow unto the point of death- I wondered to myself what was God doing at that point in Heaven? Did HE cry, Did HE look, what did HE feel, you know? The agony of it all and the pain as a parent.. Yikes

This Saturday is World Homophobic Awareness Day or something like that! Before coming to SA, this would have been a joke but not any more…. This classmate of mine that I was so sure is a man, a small man with a soft voice but one nevertheless, then one day he gives his name as Regina something or other! shock! I honestly wanted for the ground to open me up.

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2 responses to “In the Olive bushes

  1. Who said anything about her being gay….? her tastes are different

  2. Hang in there. But if you paid my airfare i could come rub ur head n tell u it will all be well!!! 🙂
    Now you have a gay friend…. Eh…. eeeuw! Am a staunch homophobe

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