on friendship and its dynamics

So I have a friend, who is dear and loved by me, but of late I feel like I have allowed the relationship balance to tilt so that all I become is a listening and/or sounding board for her stuff and mine just bounces back. I feel really bad for saying this but I have thought about it long and hard and questioned the feelings of hurt and I arrive at the same conclusion.

I read this post recently, and it struck a chord with me.

I feel like last year I had a lot of stuff happening in my life, the permit, starting work and the paper, oh the paper. And maybe I bent my friends ears with them having to listen to me and encourage and comfort and so this year, I knew, that a lot of it would be about listening and doing the same. I suppose that’s the thing with friendship – its a cycle, and the roles keep changing between all the players involved. And I guess, I would do well to roll over and read this new script for the moment.

Sadly, I really dont mind doing any of this, I just wish, that she would listen to my stuff and just acknowledge it some of the time.

Cheers and hearty back slaps

After a very long and trying period, I have finally completed my Masters degree. Thank God and thanks to my family and friends for supporting me through this journey. After 22 and a half years in school, I am finally done and can look forward to a little bit of rest from books. No homework, no supervisor meetings, no proof reads, NONE OF THAT! Woop, de do!

Only regret, at none of my graduations did I get to throw my hat in the air as above

 

its all relative, or is it?

I am a little concerned about the Jules High School rape charges ( that first were and then were dropped and then morphed into statutory rape charges) and thing is I can’t even pin my finger on the exact issue.

By way of background, the 15 year old female student allegedly claimed that she had been drugged and then raped by a group of boys. Turned out later that they were only two, as later that week two boys were arrested and then the charges dropped following lack of evidence. This is despite the fact that the video of the same act, had gone viral in the school and was allegedly available online for a mere R10 (1.4245 USD).  Now, this post is not even profound and I might even totally miss the entire argument and all the nuanced thoughts and arguments that might relate to these events. My main issue is why there are any charges to bring before the court, at all. I guess this closely relates to a question I came across earlier this week, asking when the best time is to have your first sexual encounter.  As I said, it is a multi-faceted issue and I might then stick to the Jules High incident entirely and leave you to ponder the second question.

I guess arguments are made that at 14 and 16 (the boys) and 15, the girl, these kids are primarily in school to study and nothing, or little, else that does not directly relate to this. Maybe, the real issue is the shock that we all feel that these kids had the time and the energy even to apply themselves to organising and following through which such an act during school hours. But whose problem is that? Is it the education system that has failed the students, their parents even (I am sure some people are pointing fingers and snickering) or who should be at blame here?

If they are all minors and it’s consensual, is it still a criminal offense that warrants such hype and expense at the court. If two “minors” are having consensual sex, is it wrong? And while it might be ethically or morally wrong, are there any grounds to take them before a Court of Law and charge them? Apparently the Law says that minors cannot actually consent to having sex as legally, they are not entitled to and going by Contract Law, any contractual arrangement they enter into (including sex) is voided. Does this mean that it does not matter if they are both minors and intercourse results out of their misguided agreement?

I admit, I might have missed it entirely and you might shed some light on the same.

UPDATE:  The case was later dropped and the students will be rehabilitated instead.

show me the plan

The impasse with the Anglican Church and the female bishops

My lecturer was right, hope they listen this time round

It’s a pity that teen boy stars don’t also go through this

Very convenient witchcraft this is

Facebook and people’s death.

too busy to write

It is things like this that absolutely piss me off about Governments in Africa.

Too bizarre for me to even fathom what this means.

Sad. BUT true.

what is?

alpha

birth

commencement

dawn

formation

origin

outset

root

source

start

2010 here we come

At home with the family for Christmas and I’m very happy to chill with all of them and to take a much-needed break from my Masters dissertation and the course I have to retake next semester.

Went to a friends traditional wedding proceedings this last Saturday and it was so bittersweet. In about five or so months, she will be saying ‘ I do’ and she is going to be the first one from the inner circle to take the plunge and it will be interesting to see how that is going to turn out and the kinds of changes that it will bring up in our circle. But I won’t be here to watch and partake in it and thats sad but hey, change is part of life and I have to learn to take it in my stride. I wonder who is next, tihiiiii Its been odd to come back home and reconnect with a couple of my friends and see that with others there isn’t any more we can talk about. I previously agonized about these kinds of changes but I guess in getting older, I have gotten wiser and it has hit me that there is nothing wrong in realizing that just because we were friends once, does not mean we have to continue ad infinitum.

I won’t be able to blog anymore in the next week before the coming year and so this is it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.  I wonder what the new year will bring in my personal and professional life, also to this blog. I remember finding out that I am leaving for Jo’burg to study and starting  this blog in order to keep up with my pals and those I had left at home. Maybe it will be more about the personal things I like and all the interests I have and all the other things I would like to do…I would like it to reflect the personal growth and the direction that my life is taking going forward. I was also thinking that I should continue with those blogging groups I had joined and meet people and get feedback and all that.  I have been reading these blogs (the 20something newly weds) and they keep asking for feedback and what have you and it feels so cute. So, me? What should I write about?

God bless and prosper all that read this:-)

251208

The holly and the ivy,
When they are both full grown
Of all the trees that are in the wood
The holly bears the crown
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a blossom
As white as lily flower
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
To be our sweet Saviour
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a berry
As red as any blood
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
To do poor sinners good
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a prickle
As sharp as any thorn;
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
On Christmas Day in the morn.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a bark
As bitter as any gall;
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
For to redeem us all.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly and the ivy
Now both are full well grown,
Of all the trees that are in the wood,
The holly bears the crown.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir 

Cecil Sharp

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o’er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai’s height,
In ancient times did’st give the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.  

Author unknown.

These two are my absolute favourite Carols,

Merry Christmas all

xoxo

interesting page

very nice

thick days

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he
wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you
sang your song over me

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel
is so much more real than anything
I’ve a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I’m not wrong
That the life I have now, it
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/9S3I ]
is only the beginning

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn’t looking for
something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I’ve never known
That I’ve never felt before

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
In my life

Third days new album

im extremely homesick today….as in yaani!

all 26 of them

Accent: i dont think i have any! but i speak proper
Booze: nope! could be persuaded to
Chore I Hate: washing toilets and all the spring cleaning stuff that needs doing

Dogs/Cats: lovely to look at NEVER to own

Essential Electronics: Laptop; cellphone; laptop

Favorite Perfume: any bvlgari

Gold & Silver: i have both. love my silver ring most

Hometown: Nairobi baby!

Insomnia: once once when im angst-ridden

Kids: zero

Living Arrangements: with family

Most Admired Trait: diligence and loyalty

Neurotic Tendencies: honesty, tidiness, listing things out

Overnight Hospital Stays: when i was a kid

Phobia: walking on broken bricks

Quote: what the mind of man can think, he can achieve

Religion: saved, Anglican

Siblings: four sisters

Time I Usually Wake Up: five,six

Unusual Talent: curiosity and eavesdropping

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat:avocado

Worst Habit: being evasive

X-Rays: none, can i see peoples thoughts????????

Yummy Foods I Make: salad

Zodiac Sign: what are these?

urggggggh!

this is meant to be one year since i actively begun to blog but eh! si i have been rushed off my feet! with tests and my long paper due finally in eight days now and nerves and all that at 4936 words- haiya!

im just shocked at the stuff thats cutting in SA, how does a party sack a president? i dont get that at all and then he just goes! just like that? and then people dont strike?????kwani, whats up? too odd!

everyone needs …

…. someone who will always be in your court and who is always on your sidelines,cheering you on!

a Mummy to just tuck you in and a Daddy who shows you what a real man ought to be and gives you strength to be more than you can be and for sisters? who laugh with you and encourage you and gives you advice, allows you to be yourself and loves you for who you are, and most of all, laugh at your joke coz…..they get it! and a nephew, who says the most darling things and reminds you of the special things in life that i often take for granted-thanks our dear one.

family people, they MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND.

dreams

i have to do this jobs at some point in my life

1. those CSI special effects people who work on those macabre murders
2. an illustrationist for those Alliance Francais french books
3. for Survivor-to come up with those tasks they do for reward or for immunity, thaz whar im talking about right there
4. a Big Brother producer

Having said that BBA3 is back and if it werent for work! id be glued like glue itself and the Kenyan chick is driving me mad kabisa she just talks too much, Namibi and Nigeria should hook up: i like the girl but she is gonna cost herself if she doesnt give us some entertainment like now! Munya and Ricco and Latoya all stand out for their youth and inexperience coz watotoooo! Had a fall out with a pal of mine recently- quite interesting.

sweet Jamaica

Ok so my whole weekend was taken up watching the Olympics (and house hunting but thats a whole other post) and most especially the male and female 100m finals!

AND dude did this in all of 9.68 seconds-I mean! As if this wasnt good enough, the women went ahead the next day and did this!

Wow! can you just imagine the dub they are playing in the Jamaican quarters????

this is how we roll

Africa has a new idea of democracy that is so wrong! why would you go to a poll, and then elect a president and then the incumbent refuses to step down and then there is some kind of unsettled feeling and then talks and finally power sharing where the opposition get into bed together……..? my only question is why do they bother to waste money on elections? why include us if our views count for precious little and more so, is this setting some kind of precedence for all and sundry, is this all we can hope to achieve from now hence…..its a pity indeed!

nico rocks

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I’m bound by the life you’ve left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

Amy Lee

Mandelas birthday

I fear I’m going through the equivalent of bloggers block! I have all these elaborate posts to make in my head but when i get onto the machine, its all gone imagine! Finally, I think I’m settling into the new sem because now I have all my readers and books in line, my tuts organized, presentations sorted and I have a kinda working schedule established. I have been fighting it all week but if I’m to get anything done this sem, I need to come home in the evening and put in two to three more hours of hard work and I’m SOOO  dreading that. Having said that, it is what is and with the exception of Monday when I have the schedule of a mule and Friday, ’tis not so bad after all.  urrg :=))

a Suzie moment

so much for the elaborate post I had in my mind….

i read this and I’m so thinking that the answer is no, if a man wants you, nothing will keep him away from you and if he doesnt want you, nothing will keep him with you. A hard truth I know only too well!

so I spoke to a pal of mine yesterday whom I’d kept missing over the last few weeks,  my oldest and the closest thing to a best friend I have and well, we just kept laughing about how we have grown up- a Suzie moment is when you spring a nuptial on your pals and this is a classic if I may say so myself!

A colleague of mine is from Zim and we had an eye opening chat about why things are as they are and why those guys are uber-chilled and not taking things into their hands as it were you know. All I can say is, now I know. Im also reading this book and I feel really disgruntled and overwhelmed as an economist- we think we know the answers and kumbe we are to blame for the myriad problems that so many nations are in leo. Msiba mkubwa huu….

115 more to go

The Lord is my refuge and regardless how tough things are this semester, yet shall I place my trust in you Lord. I have a hectic schedule this semester but nothing is too impossible for Him and together we shall make it. By His stripes are all this enabled (that I have so twisted)